Insolence
by Meridian31
Summary: You had a good life as an independent wrestler, with good friends, and happiness. Then things changed... You're trying to rebuild your happiness, but it's not going how you want it to. Especially not with regards to Adam Cole. (Slow burn, y'all. Slow. Burn.)
1. Chapter 1

You started your wrestling career in California, with promotions ranging from APW, which many didn't even know about, to PWG, where you currently still ran around when possible. You had found your way out of California, to the mid-west and east coast, settling in to matches with AIW and DREAMWAVE and Beyond, among others. And that had led you to ROH, as a regular, as well. You were one of the in-ring announcers, and one of the first to demand a match when the opportunity arose.

Indy wrestling was the world you lived and breathed.

You'd made best friends along the way, such as Colt Cabana and Candice LeRae, Chuck Taylor and the Briscoes. And you'd made other close friends, and just friends in general. It was hard to be on the road with the same people and not become some type of weird-hybrid-friend-family. It was obvious that each other were all you had sometimes, and everyone found someone to be with while away from their loved ones.

You had a way of meeting people, and getting to know them where they were at. You knew better than to expect everyone to be the same, and you expected flaws and mistakes as happily as you accepted changes and successes. What mattered to you was what was at the core of a person; their heart and soul. If they had good intentions, but bad execution, you had no issue helping them figure out how to show the world their true objectives. You tried to be helpful without being intrusive or overbearing.

Having been around the wrestling community for a number of years, and being open to learning everything and anything from anyone who offered, you had a good head on your shoulders. You learned from your mistakes, and the mistakes you saw others make. You had sharpened your ability to think situations through before they happened; looking ahead was a big part of your personality. You liked to envision the pros and cons, the different paths choices could take you, and all the outcomes that could happen.

It was all of this that made it no surprise many found their way to you for advice and support, and a shoulder to cry on and a brain to pick. It was no wonder many called you "momma bear" on the road either.

And then things…changed.

You had been happily in a long-term relationship with your fiancé, Evan, since high school. He was the home you went to when you weren't wrapped up in wrestling. He loved you, supported your wild dreams, and refused to let you settle for anything but your best. He was your best friend, your partner, your teammate. You learned how to share yourself with someone else because of him, and learned how to care for others because of him. When nothing else made sense, when your body hurt, and your brain had a million thoughts…he was peace.

So when he died, the result of a late night car accident where the other driver had one too many drinks and thought themselves invincible, everything stopped making sense. 9 years together, and he was gone. Just like that.

While you believed yourself a strong, independent woman, you realized very quickly that the partnership you had with Evan was what kept you stable in life. Yes, you could keep yourself alive, but he helped to keep you sane and sensible. He had been what you were to so many others on the road. He had been your sounding board, your secret keeper, and without him, you felt as though every feeling and thought and worry was just _stuck_ inside of you.

Your friends tried, bless them, to fill his role.

Candice texted daily, even if it was just a cute picture of an otter or an invitation for a Disney songs Facetime singalong. She redid your makeup after ugly crying had washed it clean away. Chuck Taylor offered to get absolutely shit canned with you, more than once, and you, more than once, took him up on the offer. You knew there was laughter shared with him, but it was always blurry in the hangover the next day. Colt was quick for a joke, and just as quick to see through your smoke screen of a grieving-but-ok-widow. He was more apt to let you come to him with your worries and concerns though. Patience, surprisingly, was a strong suit of Colt Cabana.

Jay Briscoe…he wasn't that way. He saw through your "bullshit", as he said, and called you out on it regularly. Jay didn't allow you to wallow and hide; he forced you to say your worst feelings and fears and thoughts to him. He had tough love down to a science, playing the big brother role to perfection. While you hated him for it sometimes, you also knew he was doing it because he cared. Because he saw you holding everything in, and it worried him what that would do to you. He was a friend that wasn't going to let you slip away.

Which brought you to Adam Cole.

You had been friends many years, sharing many of the same locker rooms and sometimes rings together. The two of you had been in friend groups together before, grabbing food before the show or a beer after. You'd had conversations, sharing similar likes in some music, movies, and video games. He was by no means your best friend, but he was a good friend all the same. He was higher up on the list of people you'd hang out with on the road than most.

You had been involved in the infamous Guerilla Warefare match, which saw you, Candice, Joey Ryan, and Chris Hero taking on Adam, Roderick Strong, and the Young Bucks at PWG. While Candice had taken a thumbtack shoe to the face, which was rightfully so the biggest moment of the match, you had taken multiple big moves from Adam, including being thrown in to the crowd's chairs as while as a piledriver on the ring apron. You had put your life in his hands, and he had delivered in all the right ways. You remembered being on such a high after that match. So had he.

But after Evan died, and through the ensuing months, Adam had pulled away.

At first you hadn't really noticed, too involved in your grief, and trying to simply exist day to day. He had attended the funeral, having been a friend of Evan's in the way all in the wrestling family had been. Evan had been at numerous shows over the years, and had been a part of many post-show beer outings, conversing with Adam on his own. It made sense then that Adam had sent you a couple texts, checking on you, though they tapered off quickly.

When you returned to the locker room a few months after the fact, while others had given you generic condolences or more personalized comments, Adam was just…there. He stood to the side while you were swept up in to separate hugs by each of the Young Bucks, each gently squeezing you to tell you they were happy to see you. Adam had just given you a brief smile, a quiet "good to see you", before walking off.

He stayed distant after that. You worried that maybe you were giving off negative vibes. You had been hyper aware that coming back would be awkward for all involved. There was no handbook on how to handle the death of a friend or a coworker's significant other, especially for wrestlers. You had played the "momma bear" role so well for so many years, and now you were the one in need of "mothering", so to speak. No one had wanted to burden you with their issues knowing what yours were.

So you had taken all of the advice Jay had given you, about moving forward no matter how much it hurt, and trying to find the good in each day, to heart. You thought you were showing everyone you were going to be OK, and they didn't need to tread on eggshells around you. You tried to remember to smile, to let yourself laugh. You were also learning to allow yourself to be the one who did need the mothering, and letting your emotions out to those you trusted most. You thought you were showing that you were getting on with life, in a good way.

Adam continued to be around but aloof though, so maybe you were wrong?

Except, it became clear the more shows you were back at that, you weren't wrong. You were _actually_ doing OK. As time passed, you were faking your inner-peace and strength less and less. You were genuinely beginning to move forward, allowing Evan's death to be a part of you but not a controlling entity. Your laughter was real, and loud as ever. The locker room settled back in to a routine; jokes were shared, plans were made, and the unit seemed cohesive again. Life seemed to be settling back down in to some semblance of contentment.

So then why did Adam continue to keep you at arm's length? It confused you, definitely. But it also irritated the hell out of you. Because he was no longer just quietly away from you, he had progressed to downright blatantly avoiding you.

More than once you had come in to a room, joined a group and conversation he was a part of, only for him to find an excuse to leave within minutes. He wasn't even subtle about it. Adam was always a cocky bastard, sure, but he had never been so outwardly rude to you before. When he saw you in the hallways, he'd give you a blank stare, and often times change direction. The more this went on, the more it hurt. He no longer seemed just unsure what to say; he seemed like he didn't want to talk to you at all. Like you had angered him, or hurt him, in some way.

You had become so fed up after one particular instance, where Adam had practically sneered at you asking Jay Lethal a question in front of him, that you had confronted one of his best friends Matt Jackson on the matter. Your gut wanted to confront Adam, but given his behavior, you figured you would get a blank stare and no answer. So his closest friend seemed a better route.

"You gotta ask him, girlie. I don't even know," was Matt's response however, giving you a look that could have been sympathetic or annoyed, you weren't sure, before walking off.

So after five months of being back, nine since Evan's death, you had hit your breaking point. It wasn't as though Adam and you had a huge falling out, or your friendship had just naturally, slowly come to a halt. He was still just as present, still just as involved with the same people you were, but only not involved with you, by his own obvious choice. You had no idea what you'd done to cause his behaviors, and it bothered you. You were not someone who liked actions without explanations.

It was after a match with Taeler, where the girl, try as she could, had botched multiple moves and genuinely risked your own well-being, that you finally exploded. You were in a corner of the arena, sitting on a table, holding an ice pack to the back of your neck, hating that you were on the verge of tears, when you saw him walking by. He was in jeans, a black pullover hoodie snug on his body, his hair tied in a low bun at the back of his neck.

If anyone asked you why you did it, you wouldn't be able to give them a straight answer, but you removed the ice pack from your neck and with surprisingly good aim, hurled it at him, hitting him square in the lower back. Your anger had apparently put some speed on the projectile, because he visibly jolted at the impact, reaching around to put his hand where the object hit him to soothe the spot. Adam spun on his heels, looking around confused and quickly, trying to figure out what had hit him, how and why.

"What the hell?! …Brenna?" He looked confused, and angry, and also flinched slightly in pain when he took a step closer to you. You got some type of satisfaction from that.

"Fuck you, Adam Cole," you declared angrily, sliding off the table you had been sitting on, advancing towards him. He appeared caught-off guard, not necessarily threatened by your approaching frame, but worried all the same.

"What the hell? What did you just throw at me? WHY did you fucking **throw** something at me?!"

"Because you're a dick," you declared. "I have done NOTHING to you, and you treat me like shit. And I'm tired of it! If you hate me, or whatever, fine, be that way. But at least fucking **tell me** what I did before brushing me away like I'm nothing. We were friends at one point, I thought."

"What the **FUCK** are you going on about?" He retorted, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Did Taeler hit you a little too hard?"

"Don't act ignorant," you demanded. "Ever since I've been back, you've wanted nothing to do with me. I come in a room, you find a reason to leave. You basically refuse to talk to me, let alone be around me. Did you think I wouldn't notice?" You squeezed your hands in fists at your sides, trying to keep the anger flowing, and the tears not. "Just fucking tell me why. Why can't you even look at me anymore?"

"I'm looking at you right now, darlin'. And all I can see is you've lost your damn mind," Adam stated, his tone dismissive, the cocky bastard side of him clearly now in control.

"FUCK. YOU," you snarled, your voice echoing off the concrete walls.

"Hey, whoa, whoa, girlie," Jay Briscoe seemingly swooped in from nowhere, putting a hand on your arm, placing himself to your side but in front of you a bit, a barrier between you and Adam. "What's going on here?" He asked, looking at Adam, and not you.

"Your girl, is crazy," Adam declared, his eyes still right with yours, but addressing Jay's question. You could see the anger in Adam's eyes, along with the tension in his clenched jaw.

"Have I said fuck you, yet?" You asked sarcastically, restraining yourself from also giving him the finger or, childishly, sticking out your tongue.

"Hey, if you want a hate fuck, all you need to do is ask," he retorted, the arrogance in his tone overwhelming.

And that was enough. Your rage boiled over, and before anyone, including yourself really knew better, your hand connected with Adam's face, your knuckles making impact right on his cheek. His head flew to the side, as you followed through in your swing. Your arm dropped down after the punch, and you stared at him, as he remained turned to the side, his eyes closed.

"BRENNA!" Jay exclaimed, grabbing you fully by the shoulders and shoving you back behind him now entirely. "What the hell kid!"

You didn't have a response. You felt like you were watching someone else's life through your eyes, as you looked around Jay's side. You just stared at Adam, as he slowly seemed to come back to reality as well, both of you letting what had just happened sink in. He stood up straight again, reaching a hand up to press gingerly against his jaw, which he moved ever so slightly, assessing the damage. When his eyes opened, the blue in them was practically electric, and he quickly laid them on you.

The stare down between the two of your was tense, to say the least. Adam looked entirely pissed off, but he also seemed…something. Something that your two incidences of physical violence, and verbal lashing, had clearly made worse. And you were seething, hurt, confused.

"You want to know why I've avoided you?" Adam finally spoke, his tone so cold, so quiet, so controlled, it sent a chill into your heart. "This is why."

After pausing for one second longer, he turned, and walked away from you, not once looking back. You were confused more than ever. And then you began to feel the pain in your knuckles.


	2. Chapter 2

"OK, but like, what if I _don't_ act nice?" Chuck Taylor asked, wiggling his eyebrows towards you. Your response was an unimpressed stare.

"Darling boy, you will," you stated, holding open the door for him to walk through. Once through the doorway, he put an arm around your shoulders, tucking you to his side.

"I'm glad one of us is confident in me," he declared, causing you to smile, as he steered you further in to the building, effectively ending your conversation about a potential date scenario for Chuck.

It was December in California, and you found yourself back at your favorite stomping grounds: PWG. It was the night of Mystery Vortex, the show that PWG held each year wherein they announced almost none of their matches. It was a surprise to the audience who would come out to face who as it happened in real time. The wrestlers themselves also didn't know until arrival what their matches would be. It was one of your favorite shows to do honestly. There was something so _fun_ about it, sometimes ending up in the ring with people you never did, and getting to create matches on the fly. The night fed to your creative and spontaneous side, the part of you that you were trying to reconnect to most.

So when you found out that you and Candice would be in a match against Trent and Chuck, you were beyond ecstatic. The four of you quickly found each other, animatedly going over possible spots and plans for the match. It was so nice to work with your best friends. It was even better to work with people who didn't care what gender you were, and only that you were a good wrestler. It made life so much easier, so much happier.

When it came time for your match, you and Candice had the boys get introduced first. The crowd was excited when Chuck came out, but they practically lost their minds when Trent followed, declaring they were a team that night. The crowd settled down in anticipation of their opponents. And when the opening notes of Pat Benatar 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot' came through the speakers, you were sure you had never heard a crowd get so loud.

Candice and you waited for the song to kick in entirely, before bursting through the black curtain together. You couldn't help the wide smile on your face as you slapped hands with the crowd as you made your way to the ring. You slid in under the bottom rope, Candice climbing through the middle. You stood tall in the middle of the ring together, you throwing up the 'rock on' sign, while Candice stood and looked adorable like always.

The crowd settled for the announcer to introduce the teams, Best Friends versus PowerTuff Girls. You watched everyone else's introductions, and curtseyed at yours as The Queen.

The match started as the announcer had barely finished speaking, when you and Candice double clotheslined the boys right out of the ring. It was a heavy back and forth match, full of team work spots, as well as big moments, such as when Chuck threw you head first in to the crowds' chairs, and Candice DDT'ed Trent on to the floor. There was plenty of funny spots too, such as you using your chest to distract Chuck for a takedown, and Trent trying to "hug Candice to death". It went by all too quickly, with the boys scoring a victory over your team.

You retired to the locker rooms, cleaning yourself up and changing out of your ring gear, before taking a seat by the monitors in the back to watch the rest of the show. As your match had started the show, only two more had been completed since then. Currently there was another tag match, with the team of reDRagon getting the win over Death By Elbow. You found yourself getting teary-eyed as Chris Hero gave a speech in the ring, knowing in your heart he was going to be leaving for WWE even if he didn't say so.

"What are you doing?" You asked, realizing Chuck was standing beside you now, leaning with one hand on the back of your folding chair, still in his ring gear.

"Oh, ya know, having another match," he answered, causing your eyebrows to go up. "Yea, so thanks for that lovely pile-driver earlier. I feel _fabulous_."

"Yo, what?! Who are you going against now?!"

"Me." Your eyes moved from Chuck, to where Adam Cole had approached, standing beside Chuck. He looked over you, eyes ahead at the monitor. He was in his usual ring gear; black leather jacket, black trunks, and wet hair hanging down his back. His overconfidence was also well and present.

"I'll kick his ass," Chuck leaned down and whispered in your ear, causing you to giggle. You didn't miss the scowl that came to Adam's face at this.

Soon enough the boys were having their match, with Chuck in fact kicking Adam's ass, and securing himself the #1 contender's spot for the PWG title. It had been a shock to the crowd, and you found yourself beaming in excitement for your friend as well. The rest of the show went off without issue, as did the post-show fan mingling. Once all was said and done, you were gathering your bags from the back "locker room", which was more a spare office than anything, so you could leave.

"Hey! C'mere," Chuck called from the doorway, causing you to look over your shoulder at him.

"What?"

" **Come here**!" He said again, gesturing out of the room. You stopped gathering your stuff, setting your purse down on a chair, turning towards him.

"Again, what?"

"Come with me," he declared, holding out his hand to you. With a begrudging sigh, you walked to him, where he promptly took your hand and tugged you out of the room. You allowed him to guide you down the narrow hallway, and back out into the main area of the venue, where the ring was still being torn down. However, you quickly noticed almost everyone from the roster was still standing around near the bar area.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Their voices all meshed together, loudly and on different levels, when they noticed you were there. Your eyes widened a bit, as you realized there was a lit cake resting on the bar. And that apparently it was now after midnight, and officially your birthday.

"Do not…" you started to say, but were promptly cut off as Chuck began to loudly sing 'Happy Birthday', others joining in. He kept his arm secured around you, forcing your body to sway back and forth along with his, as the group continued to sing to you. You rolled your eyes, attempting to press your ear against your shoulder, entirely uncomfortable in the situation. You hated being sung to, and had since you were little. There was photographic evidence of this. You noticed the shit-eating grin on Chris Hero's face as he sang loudly, and the sheer joy on Zack Sabre's face as he knew how much you hated this moment and were forced to endure it.

The song was over eventually, though it felt like a lifetime, and the group let out loud cheers and whoops once they had finished. Chuck pushed you gently towards the bar and the cake, indicating it was time for you to blow out your candles. As you reluctantly walked towards the bar, you gave a shy smile to the crowd of your friends watching you. The whole locker room was there, Candice and Trent, Excalibur and Kyle.

You were entirely surprised to find Adam Cole among the crowd, albeit in the very back, next to Nick Jackson. When your eyes caught his, he looked back indifferently.

You made it to the bar, looking down at the cake. It was two tiered, a dark grey color overall, with multicolored bright butterflies stuck on it. You knew Candice had made it, given her baking background.

Closing your eyes, you took a moment to enjoy the silence that surrounded you. You had no idea what to wish for. Your life was so different from a year ago, so confusing, so new. There was nothing you wanted necessarily in the material world, and you finally felt like mentally you were in a good place. You didn't need calm, or peace, or love, anymore. You had found your way to those things, through your friends and your job.

 _I wish that this year I can stay on a positive path_ , you decided, taking in a deep breath and blowing out the candles. Another cheer resounded from your friends at your action. Opening your eyes, you looked to the crowd, smiling gently.

"I hate you all, but I love you all," you declared, a laugh rumbling through your friends. Candice pulled you in to a hug, as the group relaxed around you.

"Thank you, it's beautiful," you told her quietly, causing her to giggle.

"Only the best for my best girl," she responded, letting go of you. You were pulled immediately in to another hug by Trent, albeit awkwardly.

"I hope today sucks for you," he decided, causing you to roll your eyes. "You're what? 40? 50?" Standing on your toes, you pressed a kiss to his check, making sure to make a loud 'muah' as you did so.

"That just makes me a cougar for you," you declared, leaning back from his embrace with a giggle, the blush obvious on his face. You accepted others' birthday wishes gracefully, some with hugs, some with simple smiles.

Candice took it upon herself to cut up the cake, paper birthday plates complete with balloons acting as the serving wear. You stood back, accepting the plate handed to you, engaging in conversation with Marty Scurll. After having your cake, you took a beer, as many others had as well. You eventually found yourself sitting in one of the remaining folding chairs, laughing with Bobby Fish, as he animatedly told you a story from the England ROH tour you hadn't been on last month. The group eventually thinned out, with the Bucks declaring they wanted to get home to their families, and others wanting to get back to the hotel for some sleep.

Chuck, of course, declared he had alcohol, and your "birthday party" would continue at the hotel. So you gathered your bags and got in a car with him and Trent, heading back to the hotel. You were sharing a room with Candice, and after throwing your stuff in there, the two of you headed to Chuck and Trent's room. Upon entering, you found not only those two, but also Zack, ACH, Trevor Lee, Matt Sydal, Marty, Pete Dunne, Kyle O'Reilly, and Chris. And Adam.

Within a moment of entering the room, a beer was pressed in to your hand, and you found yourself pulled down on to a couch beside Kyle, who began to talk animatedly with you about his wife. You found yourself relaxed in the room, eventually floating over to other friends and conversations, continuing to have some beers. You were almost able to forget that Adam was in the room, especially considering he did not acknowledge you once.

After about two hours, when the clock showed it was past 4AM, you declared it was time to go to bed. By now only a handful of people remained; Zack, Chuck, Trent, Adam, and Kyle. Candice had retired back to your guys' room some time ago, and others had trickled out after sharing a beer and a laugh.

The boys didn't argue your decision to end your impromptu birthday party. From his spot on the floor, Chuck shouted out one last 'Happy B-day, ho', causing Trent to giggle. You rolled your eyes affectionately at their shenanigans, before throwing a small wave to the others. You tossed your last beer bottle into the trash, exiting the room into the empty hallway. You'd barely made it ten feet from the room, when you heard the door open behind you.

"Brenna."

You froze in your steps. His voice was the last you had expected to hear. And the last you honestly _felt_ like hearing right now.

"Adam, I'm tired. I want to go to bed. Just…let me go to bed," you pleaded, continuing to face in the direction you had been going.

"Will you just…come here?" He implored, his voice soft, a gentle tone you hadn't heard from him in a long time.

You didn't go to him, but you did turn around to face him. You put your hands on your hips, your entire being looking exhausted and suspicious. Adam considered you for a moment, before his eyes diverted down to the floor. It was then you noticed, as he moved his left arm more away from his body, that he had been hiding a small bag behind himself. It was light purple, with white handles.

"Happy birthday," he mumbled, holding it out to you. With hesitance, you stepped towards him and took the bag, bringing it towards your body, as his arm dropped again down to his side. Part of you wondered if it was a bomb meant to blow up on contact with your skin. And part of you was surprised when it didn't.

Adam had always given you a small present around your birthday for years. There had been more shows than just this one that had fallen around your birthday, normally ROH Final Battle. The presents were usually silly and somewhat-sarcastic; a bunch of your favorite candy to "keep you happy and not murder-y", an airplane pillow before your first overseas trip because you always complained about how uncomfortable it was to sleep against the window, or a handful of cheap headphones because you were always losing yours. You had always had a feeling Evan had something to do with the gifts, especially given how loudly he'd laughed about the headphones.

You hadn't expected anything from Adam this year though, not given the state of your guys' relationship. Or really, lack of.

"Thanks," you murmured, unsure if you should look in the bag now or not. He nodded ever so slightly to acknowledge your response, before turning away from you. Apparently he didn't care if you looked now or not. You watched Adam return back in to the hotel room you both had exited moments ago.

Looking down at the bag, you decided to open it now, curiosity ruling you. Reaching in, you extracted a small black square jewelry box, Kay embroidered across it. Biting at your lip, you cracked open the box.

What lied inside was a silver crown pendant, attached to a silver chain on each end. The crown wasn't overly intricate, the prongs of it smooth and almost antler-like. There were three blue jewels at the base of the crown itself, a row of sparkling clear jewels along the entire bottom.

You were amazed. It was _beautiful_.

And you were very, very shocked. This was nothing like the silly, but thoughtful, gifts that you had gotten before. This was expensive. Which confused you even more. Getting a gift was surprising enough, but getting such a striking gift was wholly puzzling.

Closing the box, you put it back in the bag, and walked to the hotel room that still contained your friends. You needed an explanation. Pushing open the door, a couple sets of eyes landed on you immediately.

"Come here," you demanded as soon as your eyes met Adam's. Everyone else in the room fell silent. He was sitting on the desk, having been talking with Kyle who was sitting in a chair in front of him. Without setting his beer down, he slid off the desk, and came towards you. You turned and left the room, trusting he was following behind you. The door shut completely after he exited, indicating he had moved the bar from keeping it propped open.

"What?" He inquired, leaning his shoulder against the wall beside the doorway, his beer dangling in his hand against his side, arrogance radiating from him. This was not the same reserved, almost shy, Adam that had been in the hallway with you minutes ago.

"Why?" Was your comeback, moving the bag slightly to indicate what you were asking about. He said nothing for a moment, before shrugging one shoulder nonchalantly.

"You're the queen, aren't you?"

"I meant giving me something in general," you clarified, choosing to ignore his smartass answer.

"It's your birthday," he replied, as though that explained everything

"And?" You challenged. "Typically you don't give presents to people you don't like."

"…never said I didn't like you." You couldn't help that your eyes narrowed a bit at his response, hating that you never knew anymore what you were getting when it came to him.

"Well, ya fooled me," you stated. With a scoff, and a roll of your eyes, you turned away from him to leave. You were not playing this game with him. If he wanted to be vague and confusing, that was on him. But you weren't going to waste your time, your emotion, on the situation, knowing that the payoff would eventually never come.

"Bren, wait," his voice stopped you a handful of steps away. Closing your eyes, and gritting your teeth, you turned on your heels to face him again. He was no longer leaning on the wall, instead standing upright, looking…dejected? The mood changes he was showing you tonight were giving you whiplash. He was looking downward, and reached up with his free hand to scratch at the back of his neck.

"Look…I just…" he trailed off again. "I didn't mean to make you mad."

"Which time?" Your retort came viciously, surprising even yourself. Adam lifted his head at your tone, his body going stiff, his mood shifting yet again. He clenched his jaw, his eyes glaring in to yours. Clearly your words had made _him_ mad.

"Do not make me entirely the bad guy here," he demanded.

"Aren't you?"

"I didn't do anything purposely to you," Adam practically growled. "You have this horrible idea of what I am, and it's not fair."

"Your actions have made me have this _idea_ of you," you stated. "I haven't just made up this story in my head, Adam. You have treated me like **shit** for months, and I, for the life of me, have no idea why! You used to be my friend, and then you went to wanting nothing to do with me! But then you decide that you do? When it's what, convenient for you?"

"Because I didn't think you needed me around!" He exclaimed, his arm without the beer flinging out at his side. "You came back, and I didn't know _what_ to say to you. Evan was my friend too, and it just…I didn't know what to **do**. So I left you alone. I figured everyone else had a better idea what to do for you than I did. And then…you just…got better. You were _happy_ again…and I wasn't a part of that.

"So I thought you didn't need me around…you were fine without me… If you're fine without me, then I'm not going out of my way to be around you. I wanted you to be happy, and you were, and I figured coming around would ruin it. And it just…pissed me off, OK? It _sucked_ that you could move on without me, and that you didn't spare me a second thought. But that's not all on me! You're the one who punched **me**!"

You felt like the air had been sucked from your lungs the more he had spoken. He looked enraged and sounded…hurt. Like you had hurt him, more than just physically. Like it was wrong of you to have moved on with your life, and gotten emotionally better. Like you had purposely cut him out of your day to day. Like he hadn't made the first move down this road of separation and hostility.

"You didn't speak to me, not once, past the basic hi and bye, for weeks. Long before I was _better_ , you ignored me. And then you got _mean_ when I was around, purposely leaving when I came in a room, glaring at me, or just downright avoiding me," your voice was tight, trying to keep yourself from shouting. "I did _nothing_ to deserve that treatment, Adam, **nothing**. From the day I came back, to now, this **is** on you. You could have said something, and you didn't."

"You could have too," he muttered.

"Yea? And what could I have done? Approached a man who clearly wanted nothing to do with me? Sorry if that didn't seem like a very appealing option. Sorry if I was dealing with some other things, like ya know, not crying at every moment because my husband was dead."

You found yourself at a standstill with him. He was staring, glaring, at you, the hand around his beer bottle tight. His back was tense as he stood still, the veins of his neck prominent as though he was holding in a scream. You didn't know what else to say, or do, so you just stared back. You knew you didn't cut an intimidating figure like he did, but you refused to back down, and maintained your own rigid posture.

"Forget it," he finally declared, shaking his head slightly. "Just, fucking forget it."

Before you could agree, or disagree, or give back the present, Adam had turned and walked away. He strode passed the hotel room where everyone was, and continued down the hallway, before going around the corner, out of your sight.

 _Stay on a positive path_ , you scoffed to yourself mentally. _Here's to fucking hoping_.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey man, where's Bren?" Colt Cabana asked, coming up to Jay Briscoe, who was sitting on a road case in the back hallway, next to his brother. Jay Lethal was standing with them, as was Christopher Daniels. They were in Atlanta for a ROH event and TV taping, and it was early afternoon, so everyone was still arriving and the crew was setting up the ring and venue. It left time for the roster to mingle around backstage, catch up with one another, or complete any production filming that was needed.

"Put her in a back room, told her to sleep for a bit," Jay answered.

"She shouldn't be here," Mark chimed in.

"Yea, tried tellin' her that," his brother replied. "Makes me miss Nigel. She never argued him."

"Is she OK?" Lethal asked, confused and concerned, looking between the other men.

"Sick as shit," Jay explained. "Been this way for a few days."

"She looked like hell when I saw her," Colt stated. "Like, ready to pass out."

"She almost did last night when we got to the hotel," Mark said. "She said she hasn't been able to keep anything in her for at least two days."

"Can't you get Cary or Delirious to tell her she's not doing anything today?" Christopher questioned. "They can't let her go out there if she's _that_ bad."

"Thought about it," Jay agreed. "But knowing Bren, she'll put on some fuckin' act or argue her way to what she wants. She thinks she's gotta do her job tonight, and nothin' should stop her."

"She can't wrestle like that though, it's not safe," Lethal argued.

" _I know_ ," Jay replied, appearing to grow irritated with the conversation. "Look, when I see Delirious, I'll bring it up to him, a'ight?"

None of the men noticed Adam Cole and The Young Bucks mingling nearby, with Nick and Matt sitting at a table and Adam standing beside them. And though he tried to focus on Nick speaking, Adam couldn't help but eavesdrop on the conversation the others were having.

He hated that he heard Brenna's name and immediately zeroed in on it. They weren't friends anymore, that much he felt confident in saying. He hadn't seen her in a month, when his birthday gift/peace offering had been thrown back in his face, resulting in yet another argument. At least she hadn't punched him that time. But it had put yet another nail in the coffin of their friendship, and he was beginning to want it to closed altogether. Why should he keep trying to make things right when she obviously hated him? It wasn't worth his time and effort. He hadn't done anything wrong in letting her move on with her life.

But then why the hell couldn't he just ignore her existence entirely? Why did hearing her name perk his ears?

"Sounds like Bren's in a bad way," Nick's voice broke in to Adam's thoughts, causing his eyes to cut towards the younger Buck.

"Huh?"

"Bren, sounds like she's pretty sick," Nick reiterated. Adam looked blankly back.

"So?"

"Man, c'mon," Matt chided him. "You were totally listening to them talk about her just now. You didn't hear anything we said." Adam looked at them with what he hoped was an expressionless face, trying to play off the situation. "You gotta stop this, whatever it is, with her. She did nothing wrong to you, dude."

"She literally punched me," Adam flatly reminded them.

"Because you were being a dick," Nick replied. Adam went to argue his side, but Nick held up his hand to stop him. "I know, OK? You think you're justified in all this, but man…you're just **not**. By this point, yea, you've both screwed up, big time. But it all started with _you_. Have you even tried to explain yourself to her?"

"Yes, I did," he answered, smugly. "And all she did was get mad at me."

"Did you get mad first? Or act like an arrogant ass the whole time?" Matt questioned, clearly knowing his groupmate.

"…not the whole time," Adam defended himself.

"Look, you both obviously have unresolved issues. And you both need to resolve them," Nick stated. "We spend way too much time in the same places for you guys to keep this up. Just…talk to her. And not like Adam Cole, the guy in the Bullet Club. Talk to her like Adam, her friend. Explain yourself to her. I know Bren, man, and she's hurt and she's mad. She just wants to know why you can't be around her anymore. You had a good thing going when Evan was around, and she doesn't get why you don't now. I also know if you actually tell her everything, really _talk_ to her, things will get better."

"Do you think I care anymore? Honestly, it's whatever at this point," Adam stated, trying to be as dismissive about the subject as he could be.

"You're a terrible liar," Matt declared, his brother nodding in agreement.

The Bucks let the topic drop, instead talking about their matches for the night, and coming up with ideas. Adam was grateful, and tried to be engaged in the conversation. But in the back of his mind, the brothers' words rested, not allowing him to fully focus elsewhere. This whole thing with Brenna was such a clusterfuck at this point, was it even worth trying to fix? He was doing just fine without her being a regular part of his life. Maybe it was time to…move on. Nick did have a point when he said they had to be around each other consistently, so maybe a truce was in order. But he had already tried to mend fences, and she hadn't wanted that. So…it was, what it was. Right?

* * *

"Brenna," the quiet voice cut in to your sleeping mind. You shifted on your makeshift bed, having put down a couple sweaters to soften the floor you were laying on, and an airplane pillow under you head.

"Bug, c'mon," the voice requested again, a hand gently squeezing your arm. "Ya gotta wake up, kid." You moved again, letting a tired groan escape your mouth. You squeezed your eyes shut tighter, before letting them crack open, finding Jay Briscoe crouched down in front of you. "Hey."

"Hey," you mumbled back, curling your body into itself, before stretching out your legs and then arms. You bent yourself as far back as you could, savoring the feeling of your muscles being pulled taught as you woke up. "What time is it?"

"Time for you to get up," Jay answered, causing your eyes to narrow. "I promise, you've got time to get ready. To be the prettiest ring announcer in the whole world."

"I have a match," you replied, letting your limbs fall down on to the floor, sprawling yourself on your back.

"…ya don't," he responded. Instantly your head whipped over, your eyes meeting his. He looked at you sheepishly. "You're not _well_ , Bren. It wouldn't be safe to for you to be in the ring tonight."

"I'm **well** ," you argued through gritted teeth.

"OK, but no one believes that so…figured it would just be best to have you hosting tonight than wrestling," Jay explained.

"And who's idea was that?"

"…group decision," he answered, apparently trying to protect himself and whoever else had been involved in the conversation. You glared at him, just knowing he had been the one to get the ball rolling on getting you taken out of your match. "Come on, Bren… You're not OK. You practically fell over last night, and you've been asleep most of today. We just…don't want anything to happen to you."

"Don't try to be sweet, I'm mad at you," you replied, turning over onto your other side, so your back was facing him. You placed your hands under your cheek, pulling your knees towards your chest, sufficiently pouting. You knew in your heart Jay was just being your "big brother", and trying to look out for you. But you also knew being a woman wrestler in ROH was a tough situation, and any match was a blessing to have. Getting taken out of one was a curse.

"Bren, c'mon," he pleaded again with you, placing his hand lightly on your shoulder. You wanted to shrug it off, but were too tired to do so. "You're still out there, still a part of the show. And I know you'd rather be wrestling but…it's just not gonna be tonight, OK? You're the fucking best woman on the roster, so you know next match will be yours no question."

"You suck," you grumbled, hating the sense he was making, and that you had no counter-argument. And you really hated that you knew this decision had already been finalized without your input.

"Love you too, kid," Jay responded. "You OK to get up and ready?"

"I'm sick, not dying," you stated plainly.

"A'ight, just checkin'," he removed his hand from you. "I'll see ya in a bit."

"Yep," you affirmed, your tone fairly irritated. You listened as Jay got up, and left the room, the door clicking shut behind him. You laid there for a few more moments, allowing yourself to come to terms with your adjusted role in the show for the night.

Slowly, you sat yourself up on the floor, feeling lightheaded still. It took some time, but you found yourself standing. You got yourself ready, taking your time to pull on a red-orange dress, that stopped about mid-thigh. It was form-fitting, though over the shoulders was a bunch of material hanging that was almost cape-like. A black belt accentuated your waist, and you slipped your black heels on your feet. You put your hair in a fishtail braid, laying over your shoulder, and completed your look with light makeup. You did your best to hide the bags under your eyes, give yourself some color, and overall make yourself look more alive than dead.

Exiting the locker room, you came upon the buzz of activity that usually happened for an ROH show. People were coming and going constantly, setting up this and that, confirming everyone knew their place, and nothing would happen that would cause problems. You sluggishly made your way through the hallway to the production office, hoping to find out the match line-up for the night and your part in it. You were barely spared a glance as papers were handed to you, and you slipped back out of the office without a second thought.

As you meandered through the hallway, hoping to find a place to sit and read through the papers, you felt your body getting warm, and almost sweaty. Clammy. _Another fucking hot flash, really?_ You had your fair share of them the last few days, usually leading up to you vomiting. The backstage suddenly felt suffocating, overwhelming, and you ducked out the first door you saw that led to the outside.

The cool night air was a welcome feeling to you, as you found yourself in the back parking lot of the arena. You wished you had a coat or sweatshirt so you could sit down without having your dress get dirty. Instead, you settled for leaning back against the door, hoping no one tried to come through it. Closing your eyes, you took in a small breath, attempting to relax your body in to some semblance of steadiness. You felt like **shit** ** _._** You swallowed, trying to keep the nausea at bay. You stood as still as possible in hopes of keeping your stomach contained.

Unfortunately, it seemed to be for naught, as you felt yourself ready to wretch. You scampered to the edge of the building, preferring to be sick out of sight. Your body heaved, in an attempt at expelling your stomach contents, which unfortunately for you was basically nothing. You found yourself just heaving, eventually spitting up a minor amount of stomach fluid and spit, and not much else. You _hurt_ , with tears leaking from your eyes at the actions your body was forcing you to endure. After a handful of lurches, which resulted in nothing but more pain in your abdomen, and messed up make-up, you felt that the sick spell was over. You wished you had tissues to wipe at your eyes and cheeks, and water to rinse out your mouth. And a soft bed to lay down in.

"Brenna?"

 _Oh...no. No no no. Please. No. Not now. Not now, universe, I can't. I already feel like shit enough. Don't add to this._

"Hey, are you…no, you're not OK, but…"

"I _am_ OK," you cut off his rambling voice, which was coming from somewhere behind you.

"You're not," he argued, his tone stiff. "…do you want me to get Jay?"

"I'm a big girl, I can handle myself," you retorted, refusing to be the damsel in distress he seemingly saw you as, despite the fact that you were leaning against a brick wall, probably looking like a disaster. You stood up straight, reaching up to wipe fingers beneath your eyes, blindly attempting to fix your makeup. You sniffled, and took in a shallow breath.

"Bren…"

"Go away, Adam," you sighed.

It was a few seconds before you heard him walk away, the door opening and closing after him. At the close, you let yourself sag back against the side of the building. You felt exhausted, unsteady, unwell. You hated being like this, and hated even more that others were seeing you in such a state. But your drive to always be the workhorse and reliable had overridden that, and brought you to the ROH show tonight. You had no one to blame but yourself.

A minute or so later, you heard the door opening again. You tried to make yourself tiny against the wall, hoping whoever it was wouldn't realize you were standing in the shadows. Your hopes were dashed quickly however as footsteps came closer to you.

"Here." You would have had a more shocked reaction when you realized Adam was holding out a bottle to you, but you were just too fatigued. It appeared to be a yellow Gatorade, and after a moment of hesitance, you reached out to accept it. He stood to the side of you, a good foot between the both of you.

You cracked open the bottle, taking a swig, which you swished around in your mouth before spitting it out on the ground around the corner. _So ladylike_. You took another sip after that, gingerly, scared of putting anything in your body at this point.

"Thanks," you whispered, the ingrained manners in you taking over. You took another small drink from the bottle, before capping it, not wanting to test fate. You lifted your head, finally looking at the man nearby. He was dressed in black dress pants and shoes, a black dress shirt unbuttoned and hanging open over a black t-shirt. His hair was pulled back in his signature messy bun, higher up on his head than low to his neck. He was looking at you, almost sadly, definitely pitifully.

"How rough do I look?" You asked, trying to lighten the situation.

"I've seen you worse," was his answer, his eyes calm as he looked you over. "Why are you here, Bren? You're sick."

"I've been worse," you replied, using his words against him. He didn't seem to react to your answer, continuing to just look at you, assessing you. You hated that you were still leaning against the wall, physically unable to do more. You didn't want to be weak in front of him, of all people. An involuntary shiver went through your body, the night air now too cold as your hot flash and vomiting episode had passed. You wished you weren't ill, that you were able to just stride away from him, head held high. Instead, he was seeing you vulnerable, physically downtrodden, and overall pathetic.

"I think you need to get inside," he stated.

"…I'm good here," you argued, and even you knew it was a weak response, done just for the sake of disagreeing with him. You expected him to say more, debate you further on the matter. What you didn't expect was him slipping off his dress shirt, and placing it over your shoulders.

"Put that on at least," he directed, his tone leaving no room for dispute. You set down the Gatorade bottle less than gracefully, and balanced yourself inches from the wall as you slipped your arms in to the shirt, adjusting the material of your dress within its confines. You secured two of the buttons in the middle section to keep it closed around yourself. Though it was light, it offered some barrier to the night air, and you welcomed the warmth it still contained from his body. Once it was on, you leaned your back against the building wall, facing towards him.

"Brenna, can you even walk right now?"

"Yes," you answered quickly, trying to sound offended he even second-guessed such a thing. He leveled you with a disbelieving look, and you stared back stonily. "Adam, I'm _fine_."

"…stop, Bren…just…stop," he requested, sounding tired of your assertions and somewhat annoyed. "You're not, you and I know it. And you should be anywhere but here right now."

"I'm fine," you repeated, though your voice had lost most of its strength. He stared at you more, and you stared back, trying to suppress another shiver that went through your body. You didn't want to look as bad as your knew you were. This illness, stomach flu, whatever it was, was wreaking havoc on your body, but he didn't need to know that. You didn't want him to know that. You didn't like him around you at your best, let alone at your worst. Only friends should be allowed in these moments, and he certainly wasn't one of those.

"C'mere," he said, shifting his right arm in a beckoning manner towards you. You stared at him blankly, confused and suspicious. "We both know you're not going to go back inside so everyone can see you like this, and we both know you're cold…so, come here." He lifted his arm more, indicating he expected you to move to him.

You slightly appreciated that he said cold, and not weak.

You weren't entirely sure why you did what he asked of you, but you did. You did know you were worn out, hurting, _desperate_ to not feel so awful anymore. You slid from leaning on the wall, all but stumbling towards him. Once you were close enough, Adam put his arm around your shoulders, pulling you to his chest. He waited a moment, to make sure you didn't change your mind, before putting his other arm around you, securing you in his embrace. He held you tight against his body, arms overlapping around your shoulders, his head light against the side of yours. You kept your arms curled in to yourself, between your bodies, as you let your forehead rest against his chest, closing your eyes.

You didn't know what to make of the situation, and you were somewhat wary of it. Here was this man who had at one point been a genuine friend, who had then become someone you were distrustful and angry towards, but was now someone offering you comfort? None of it made sense. The last you had spoken to Adam, or rather argued with Adam, had resulted in him walking away from you. Again. Why did he want you near now? Why did he _care_ at all about your well-being?

"You shouldn't be here," he stated, repeating his earlier thought, his voice quiet near your ear.

"I'll live," you replied.

"Will you?" Adam challenged. "You need rest, not to be on this show."

"Stop trying to tell me what I **need** ," you demanded. It irked you that he thought he had any idea what was best of you, let alone that he had any say in your current matters. You knew you weren't well right now, but it wasn't like you were collapsing at every turn. And maybe he was somewhat right, you shouldn't be at the show given your illness, but he didn't have to know that. You were tough, you could make it.

"Listen to me…I get it, OK? I've worked sick before too. But there's a difference between that, and when you aren't even able to stand. This isn't you just getting over something, you're really sick, like right now. And you're just making yourself worse by being here. Do you want this to be me and pneumonia all over again, but for you?"

"Why do you even care?"

"Why are you letting me hold you?"

"…because you're surprisingly better than a brick wall," you retorted.

"Well, gee, thanks," Adam replied, his tone teasing. You couldn't help but smile slightly at his response, a little surprised he hadn't had a more aggravated reaction. Silence fell upon you both after the exchange. He adjusted his arms around you, lowering them so they were wrapped around the middle of your back, creating a more warm cocoon for you to be in.

"Please, be honest with me Bren…do you really think you can make it through the show tonight?"

You _wanted_ to tell him you could, that you were a warrior that wouldn't let some little stomach bug keep you from doing your job. You _wanted_ to prove him wrong, let him see that you were self-sufficient, and he didn't need to give a shit about you anymore. You _wanted_ to be done with this entire situation. But you knew it would all be lies, and you were **exhausted**. And something in his voice, in his actions, tugged at you to be honest with him like he wanted.

"…no."

"Alright," he said, accepting your words without hesitation. "Then let's find a way to get you back to the hotel."

"Adam…"

"It's not up for debate, Brenna," he cut off your feeble objection. "Everyone's worried about you, and you're clearly not OK. You need to get out of here, and sleep somewhere that isn't a locker room."

Another protest was on the tip of your tongue, but you let it die there. You knew, you just somehow knew, he wasn't going to let you win this one. And to be honest, part of you didn't want to. The idea of getting to be out of this dress and heels, in sweatpants and in a warm bed…it sounded really, really good right now.

"Let me take you to Jay, OK?"

"…yea, alright," you acquiesced. Adam released you from his embrace gently, and you immediately missed the warmth it had been giving you. You stood yourself up, and wobbled slightly in your shoes, having not had your entire weight upright in some time now.

"I got you," Adam stated, sliding his arm around your waist, keeping you from stumbling again. He pulled you against his side, and your head fell to rest against his shoulder. You felt _heavy_ , like your whole body was being pulled down extra hard by gravity. "We'll go slow."

Adam left his arm around you, keeping you on your feet, as the pair of you gradually made your way back in to the building. You could only imagine what people thought when they saw you both going down the hallway. You, wrapped in his dress shirt, tucked in to his side. He, an arm around your waist, holding you firmly. It was no secret among the locker room that you two weren't on good terms, so the sight was probably confusing, to say the least.

"Yo, Bren, what happened?!" Apparently you weren't going to have to go the locker room after all. Jay came upon you and Adam in the hallway, having been walking already in the direction towards you both, dressed in his ring gear.

"Same ol', same ol'," you answered, giving him a slight smile. "I'm _fine_ , just probably need to go lay down."

"She needs to be back at the hotel," Adam countered your words. "She isn't doing the show tonight." Jay looked at Adam, his face displaying his confusion as to what you were doing with Adam to begin with, and why he was getting such a say in your business.

"And you decided this?" Jay questioned him, his tone giving away that he wasn't happy Adam was calling the shots right now. You could feel Adam straighten next to you at the negative reply, as though he took it as some type of challenge.

" **We** decided this," you cut in, before the brewing confrontation could really kick off. "I shouldn't have come here. You were right Jay." It was a moment later that Jay finally took his angry stare from Adam, and looked at you but with sympathy.

"Yea, I know," he stated, making you roll your eyes. "Well, c'mon. We'll get someone to take you back." He reached out to you, and you untucked yourself from Adam, who loosened his arm to let you go, transferring yourself to Jay's side. It didn't go unnoticed by you how Jay pulled you as close as possible once you were within reach, as if shielding you from Adam.

"I got her," Jay stated, dismissing Adam, who in response held his hands up in an innocent manner in front of himself

"Just helping out," he explained, before turning his gaze to you. "Get some sleep Brenna."

"Adam…" You considered him, suddenly at a loss for words. It was just now becoming clear to you how caring he was being towards you, how gentle and concerned his actions had been tonight. In your sick haze you hadn't realized until now that, despite whatever anger and hate he had towards you, it didn't matter to him when he saw how unwell you truly were. This was the Adam you had known for years, but had lost in previous months. This was the person you had called friend once upon a time, and not foe has you had recently. This was the Adam you wanted back in your life full-time.

"Rest, Bren," he repeated, not allowing you time to gather your thoughts enough to say more to him. And with a curt nod towards Jay, he walked off down the hallway.

* * *

As always, reviews/feedback are so welcome! :)


	4. Chapter 4

Three weeks later, you found yourself sitting on the balcony of your hotel room in San Antonio, Texas, for yet another weekend of Ring of Honor shows. After the last one, you had gone home and been on bed rest for about four days. It appeared that the stomach flu had taken a stronger hold on you than you thought. You slowly got better, able to return to your part-time job, working as a club manager at a local music venue. Wrestling was great, but on its own, with you on your own, it didn't pay all the bills.

Adam had texted you the day after he had helped you in Atlanta, checking in on you, making sure you had made it home. The exchange had been brief, dying off after a handful of messages, but you had appreciated the gesture all the same. Perhaps things were going to be OK for the two of you? You hadn't spoken to him since then, but you were meant to meet up with a group from the roster tonight for dinner and you felt confident he'd in the group. Hopefully the both of you didn't go back to the angry, icy exchanges from before, and perhaps you'd finally get some understanding of all of his actions.

You remained sitting on the balcony in the cool Texas air, reading your book, until it was time to get ready to meet up downstairs with your dinner companions. Jay had told you to be there by 6PM, and it was just after 5 now. It wasn't that you had a lot to do to get ready; add some hair spray to your wavy hair, make sure your makeup was OK, gather your purse. But you didn't want to feel rushed.

So you meandered back in to your room, to pull on a pair of medium tint skinny jeans & a baggy grey sweater, that hung off your frame comfortably. You fixed your hair and makeup, trying to cover up the bags under your eyes, if only to avoid a confrontation with Jay about "why aren't you sleepin', kid?". You were sleeping, just probably not as much as you should be.

Eventually you found it was time to meet downstairs, so you slipped on your black ballet flats, grabbed your purse, and left your room. You took the elevator down to the ground floor, and upon the doors opening, saw Mark, Nick, Matt, and Lethal standing in a group off to the side. You went to them, exchanging greetings and hugs.

"Who are we waiting on?" You inquired.

"Jay, Cole, and probably Page?" Nick answered. "At least, that's what they told me."

"Gotcha." You spoke with Lethal in the meantime, talking about his new house and the problems that were coming with that. It was within minutes that Jay arrived, instantly putting an arm around your shoulders. He spoke with Nick and Matt, while you maintained your conversation with Lethal. Some moments later, both Adams arrived. But only Page greeted you directly; Cole just looked at you without an expression on his face.

It shocked you, honestly. It wasn't what you expected. Not that you thought he was going to pick you up excitedly and swing you around, but you had at least thought you'd get words spoken to you. But you didn't comment on it, unsure if it was anything really. Maybe he was just in a bad mood overall?

You realized quickly however, that wasn't the case.

You walked to the nearby restaurant for dinner, a sports bar type place. The entire walk over, you talked with Nick, and Adam kept himself at the back of the pack away from you. In the restaurant when you all were seated, you found yourself between Jay and Lethal, with Matt and Page across from you. Adam was on the end of the table on your opposing side, Nick between him and Matt.

Throughout dinner, you were engaged in conversation with all of your friends, exchanging stories and anecdotes and laughs. Except with Adam Cole. You got the idea, after direct comments and questions to him a handful of times, and only receiving short responses or semi-smiles back, that he didn't want to speak with you.

And that pissed you off.

So you spent dinner after that ignoring him back. You had a few beers, laughed loudly with your genuine friends, and let Adam sit with his apparent hatred for you.

It was when you were walking back in to the hotel, following along after the guys who had announced it was time for an after-dinner drink in the hotel bar, that you felt a sudden need for answers. It may have been the alcohol, and it may have been you hitting your tolerance for his behavior. But you were just so _irritated_ at how Adam had treated you all night long, reverting to the distant and passive attitude from before. You were also mad at yourself, for thinking his behavior in Atlanta indicated a change in your relationship, like there was a possible reconciliation in the works.

You were just tired of him being such an unjustified prick towards you honestly.

"We'll meet you guys over there," you declared, grabbing Adam's forearm, as you all stood in the lobby. You weren't sure who looked the most surprised and confused at that moment among the group. But no one said anything, and you didn't see the subtle nod Adam gave to Matt, indicating he was fine with this sudden turn of events. Jay looked at you, lifting an eyebrow in question, and you responded with a stern look back, confident in your choice. The guys shuffled away in to the hotel bar, leaving you and Adam in the lobby.

"What do you need?" He asked once you were alone, looking down at you, appearing unfazed by the change in plans.

"We're not doing this out here," you decided, looking around. The number of hotels you had been in over the years, now in the hundreds easily, made you aware that usually there were conference and meeting rooms along the first floor. Tightening your grip on Adam's arm, you tugged him to follow you down a hallway, which he did without protest.

You were lucky, having chosen the right direction to go in, seeing placards on the wall that let you know these were in fact conference rooms you were passing. You kept going down the hallway until you were at the last possible room. Pushing down on the handle, the door opened, and you dragged Adam in behind you. The room was small, maybe with a dozen empty round tables inside. It was only when you heard the door slam shut that you let go of Adam's arm.

"Wanna tell me why I was kidnapped?"

"Kidnapping implies no one knows where you are," you responded, turning around so you were facing him. You were annoyed with how calm he looked, like this situation was just another day for him. Like he didn't know you were mad. Like your behavior wasn't bothering him in any way.

"Alright then, why did you _bring_ me here?"

"Because I want to know what tonight was about," you commanded, putting your hands to your hips.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"This whole night, all through dinner, it was back to the ignoring and cold-shoulder and hostility bullshit. I thought we were past that? I thought, now I'm realizing for some stupid reason I thought this, but maybe things weren't going to stay so bad between us?"

"And why did you think that?" Adam questioned, looking unaffected by any of your words and actions still.

"Because the last time I saw you, you were _nice_. You were the person I knew for so many years, the person I saw as a good friend of mine. You weren't…this…this shadow of a man to me."

"Nothing's changed, Brenna," he affirmed. "Whatever you thought, you were wrong."

"I can fucking see that," you snapped, and you saw a flicker of surprise cross his face at your harsh reply. "Just, do me a favor, yea? Stop fucking around with me. I can't handle this back and forth bullshit anymore. If you wanna tell me what the hell is up, that would be great. But if you wanna ignore me, then go all in on that, OK?"

"Oh sweetheart, I can do that perfectly," he smirked, as though he had just accepted a challenge. He let his eyes scan over you entirely once, before shaking his head briefly, and turned towards the door. This pissed you off even more, feeling like he saw you as not even worth an explanation. And that was all you wanted really.

"Just go on then, walking away from me, without explaining yourself, like you always fucking do," you barked. "Some day when you grow the fuck up, I would love to hear **why** you treat me like this. What wonderful reasons you have for all of this. But for now, I'm done with this shit, Adam. I don't want to see you, hear you, be _near_ you if I can help it. You've hurt me enough. And you don't…"

" **I'M FUCKING SORRY**!" Adam roared suddenly, effectively cutting you off, as he spun back around from the door. Your eyes grew wide at the loudness, at the genuine anger he was directing towards you.

"Is that what you want to hear, Brenna? I. AM. SORRY." He punctuated his last three words by chopping his hand up and down in the air towards you. He turned back away from you after that, shaking his head, before putting his hands to his hips, almost vibrating with emotion. You were stunned silent. He had never blown up at you like this before. You didn't know what to do, if you should do anything at all. You hoped no one had heard him, and came running down the hallway and in to the room. You slightly hated yourself for bringing him to this room now, confronting him like you had. You had expected an argument, maybe, but not this explosion.

After a beat, he reeled back around to face you.

"You think I don't know I fucked up? Because I **DO**. I know I hurt you, but dammit Bren, you aren't the only one hurt here, SO STOP FUCKING ACTING LIKE YOU ARE," he demanded, his voice still raised. "I didn't set out to have us end up here. I **didn't** , whether you believe that or not. What I said to you at your birthday, that was the _truth_. After Evan died, I didn't know what to say to you. I'm not Jay, I'm not Cabana, I don't handle shit like that well. I wanted to, Jesus, I wanted to be able to comfort you and be there for you but I just… _couldn't_. So I didn't try, because I didn't want to make things worse for you."

"And how'd that work out?" You couldn't help yourself from making the snide comment, recovering from your shock the more he spoke. His eyes narrowed, and you regretted speaking.

"Why don't you tell me," he retorted, and you clenched your jaw, knowing he had a point. Things were worse, for both of you. You weren't happy with this state of affairs, that much was clear. You had the same social circle, and you couldn't even be around each other without _something_ happening. You had a feeling it was getting on your friends' and coworkers' nerves to have to deal with the two of you and your…whatever this was. It was definitely on your nerves.

You let any more comments stay in your head, realizing that you would only further fuel the already infuriated man. And you had a feeling that wasn't something you wanted to do. You had only ever seen Adam like this when it involved wrestling, never outside of it, and certainly never with you. You didn't know how this was going to go, and that worried you.

Adam regarded you in the silence, and when he realized you weren't going to speak more, he continued on. He still looked just as angry, but he brought his voice down in volume, though his tone remained upset.

"When you came back…shit, it wasn't like I didn't want to talk to you, because I **did**. We were close Bren, not best friends, but how many years have we been on the road together? But I just…couldn't bring myself to be around you. You were so _sad_ , and I didn't know how to make it better for you. So I left you alone, because I knew you were better taken care of by everyone else. I thought about saying something to you all the time, I wanted to, but the more time that passed the more…awkward it all became.

"And then you were…OK. You were laughing again, and you looked _good_ , and I had nothing to do with that. You had gotten yourself to a better place, without me. You never sought me out, you never tried to talk to me so I figured you just didn't…need me as your friend anymore. And I didn't like it, but it was what it was. It sucked to be around you knowing that though. _That's_ why I avoided you. It fucking **hurt** to watch you move on without me. And yea, it pissed me off. I didn't think it would happen, and it did, and then all I could do was stay away from you to deal with it. By then, I figured that's what you wanted anyways, for me to be at a distance."

"You never thought to say _any_ of this me over the past however many months?"

"Of course I did, all the fucking time," Adam scoffed at your question. "But I knew you were unhappy with me, I knew you and I were…it just wasn't an option. It never seemed right to do. It never seemed like it would matter either. When you hit me…I said that was why I didn't talk to you. Because I felt I was right, you didn't want me around, you were mad at me. I mean, the first interaction we had in months, and it was **vicious**. And when I did try to really tell you, at your birthday, you just didn't seem to care. You didn't want to hear me out."

" _Seriously_?" You couldn't help yourself. It felt like a cop-out of an excuse, and you didn't like the accusation he made towards you about your reaction to him.

"OK then, how come you never came to me, huh?" He questioned, crossing his arms over his chest. "You've had just as much opportunity as I've had. Why didn't you ever confront _me_?"

"You literally left rooms when I came in them!" You exclaimed, throwing your hand out at your side in exasperation. "It's kinda hard to ask questions of someone who refuses to be around you!"

"But that wasn't from day one," Adam pointed out. "I know I did that, I messed that up eventually, but it wasn't like the day you came back I ignored you."

"Ya pretty much did," you argued. "You barely spoke to me that day I came back, and then it was just…less and less and then…nothing."

You considered him for a moment, each of you tense with anger, each refusing to back down from your side. You had heard all he had said, and had a far better understanding of how you had found yourself in the here and now with him. He hadn't meant to hurt you, had reasons for all he did, however misguided they were. All of this on his part hadn't started with malicious intent, but it had ended up there all the same. You got that. It still hurt, and it still wasn't right, but you at least saw his motives behind all of it.

So then why were you both still so confrontational with one another? This wasn't going to fix anything, and wasn't that the point of this little _discussion_ you had started anyways?

"Adam, when I came back…I meant it before when I said I had a lot on my mind," you reminded him of words you had spoken months prior. "The first few months I was back on the road? That was totally fake. I had to force myself to socialize, had to make myself laugh with everyone else. I was so hurt, so _lost_ , without…Evan. So I just…faked it until I made it, basically. And you ignored me…that whole time. You said hi to me on that first day, and then some other days but then it was…silence. I wanted to say something, but I just couldn't take anymore drama at that point. I figured you'd come to me when you wanted, but then you _didn't_.

"And then you started to avoid me and glare at me and I just thought you hated me for some reason that I didn't know. I wanted to ask you what happened, but I figured you'd just walk away or ignore the question. I asked Matt once if he knew why you treated me how you did, but he told me he didn't and I had to ask you. But it just…wasn't that easy. You didn't want me around it was obvious, so I didn't want to force myself on you. And everything at my birthday…you just, you caught me off guard, and you…confused me. One minute you were being so nice, and then you were mad, and…it didn't make _any_ sense so I didn't believe it."

"I never hated you," he said, his voice having lost almost all of the edge it held previously. He uncrossed his arms from his chest, his arms falling to his sides, a sigh escaping his body. You shrugged slightly, the tension leaving your body as well, unsure of what else to tell him, unsure how this was going to play out further.

The silence was thick in the room between the two of you, neither of you any longer in battle position, but still uncertain about the other and the situation. So much had been said already, and so much still needed to be said.

"I'm sorry I threw that ice pack at you."

"Not sorry for punching me?"

"Nope," you answered, letting a smile grow on your face, a corresponding smaller one coming to his face. The room felt lighter at this. "Look, can we just…stop the yelling and shit…just, let's get a fucking drink and… _talk_?"

"…yea…uh, that sounds good," Adam agreed with a short nod. "How do you want to do that?"

"I can go in to the bar, see what I can manage to get, let the guys know they'll see us later," you offered. "And then…we meet up in one of ours rooms?"

"OK," he replied, and you noticed just a trace of uncertainty in his voice. "How about you do all that and then come to my room?"

"OK," you agreed.

"432," Adam stated, and you nodded to show you'd heard him. He looked at you for a moment longer, and then turned to open the conference room door, holding it for you to pass through. You walked silently beside one another back down the hallway, and once you hit the lobby you split apart, he going towards the elevators, you towards the hotel bar.

Before you could overthink or over-analyze, you strode in to said bar, on a mission now. You had a good feeling about tonight, and you didn't want to waste time. Time was on your side right now. _Stay on a good path_ , you thought to yourself.

* * *

All reviews & comments welcome!

Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, and favorited so far. Means a lot! :)


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you all for the reviews, favorites, follows, and such! Means a lot to me.

* * *

Your plan ended up working, as you managed to negotiate with the bartender and secure a bottle of scotch for Adam, and a bottle of wine for yourself. Your negotiations had been you flashing your smile, batting your eyelashes, and handing over a credit card. You'd told the guys you'd see them tomorrow, leaving no time for replies or arguments from them, turning immediately and leaving the bar area after telling them your plans. You knew you'd probably hear it from the Briscoes tomorrow about the whole situation, but you weren't worried about that now. You'd then stopped off at your hotel room, changing from your jeans in to black leggings under the same grey sweater. It was too late to not be comfortable.

With all this done, it was a half hour later you found yourself knocking on Adam's hotel room door. You waited a few moments before he swung open the door, giving you a tiny smile, holding it wider for you to come through. You noticed he too had changed clothes, now in a long sleeved grey Splx shirt and black cotton drawstring sweatpants.

"I see you were successful in winning over the bartender," Adam observed, the two bottles cradled in your arms. You set them down beside the TV, along with your phone and keycard. The room had a nice glow to it, one of the bedside lamps on, as well as the standing lamp in the opposing corner.

"It was not nearly as hard as it probably should have been," you replied with an impish grin. He chuckled softly, before heading in to the bathroom. He returned with two water glasses, handing one to you.

"Look at that, you got me scotch," he commented, cracking open the bottle. It appeared he had planned ahead, the bucket on the dresser already containing ice, of which he put a small amount into his glass.

"I mean, we _have_ drank together, like on numerous occasions…," you reminded him, and you didn't miss the way his body tensed just slightly at your answer.

"…yea," he mumbled, pouring the liquor out to fill his cup about halfway. He capped the bottle, setting it back down.

"We really put ourselves in a fucked up spot, didn't we?" You questioned, still watching him, unable to let his reaction to your previous statement go.

"Just a bit," he answered, bumping your shoulder lightly with his, apparently trying to keep the situation stress-free, before going to sit in the chair at the desk.

After you poured your wine, and took a long drink which meant you had to refill immediately, you toed off your flats and went to the bed closest to the desk, furthest in the room. You propped up a pillow, sitting and leaning your back to the headboard, crisscrossing your legs. Adam turned in his chair to face you, stretching out his legs, his feet resting on the end of your bed, crossed at his ankles. It wasn't lost on you the distance you two had put between yourselves.

Silence fell over the room, both of you clearly unsure of who should speak first or what should even be said first. So much had already been explained, but so much was left to be discussed. You drank your wine, staring down at the bed, unaware that as you did so, Adam was looking you over, sipping his scotch. You decided given you had asked for this get-together, you probably should be the first to talk.

"This whole thing really spiraled out of control." You glanced up to him from under your eyelashes. His response was a small shrug and a tilt of his head in agreement. "I'm sorry too, about everything, ya know?"

"Yea, I know."

"I felt bad after I punched you," you admitted, looking at him fully now, taking another swallow of your wine.

"Thought you weren't apologizing for that?"

"Oh, I'm not," you answered. "Just stating that it wasn't nearly as satisfying as I thought it would be." He puffed out a small laugh.

"Well, maybe some time, I'll let you try again," Adam offered, smiling at you in genuine, the sides of his eyes even crinkling a bit.

" _Let_? Man, I'll just **do** it," you bantered, smiling back at him, which made him chuckle again.

"Alright," he conceded. You let the smile fade from your face as you both drank more. The room was…lighter. It was easier than you had thought it would be to fall back in to the joking nature you had shared with Adam over the years. The alcohol was definitely relaxing both of you, but just in general, it seemed neither of you were any longer looking for a fight. You knew things weren't the same by a long shot, but you saw glimmers of your previous positive relationship with him finally surfacing tonight. You hoped it was permanent.

"When I gave you that present, for your birthday…it was meant as a peace offering. I was trying to say sorry," Adam admitted, staring down at the glass in his hand.

"You know, hearing those actual words then _might_ have helped," you replied, your tone lightly teasing but still serious. He shrugged a shoulder, taking a short drink.

"Yea…but…I'm not the guy that apologizes."

"You literally just did to me downstairs," you pointed out.

"…that was…different…." He sounded uncertain in his wording, causing you to squint your eyes in question.

"Why?"

"It just…was." His explanation, or lack of, left you more curious. Adam took another drink, with purpose, before moving his legs from the bed so his feet were now on the floor. He leaned forward a bit, his elbows resting over his knees, his glass dangling in the in-between. He swirled the ice cubs around in his scotch, watching as though mesmerized by the movements. You waited quietly, assuming he was just gathering his thoughts.

"You know, you're like the only close female friend I have?" He glanced up to you briefly, before putting his gaze back on his drink, appearing almost nervous at his admission. "I mean, outside of like my family and their girlfriends or whatever, you're it."

"…OK?"

"And it's not like…it's not like I see you as like fragile, or something, because you're a woman. It's not, I promise. God, you're the least fragile person I think I know. But it's also not…I can't just treat you like 'one of the guys'. … I guess…I kinda realized I need to treat you in a…different way?" He paused. "I can definitely say I would _never_ be in this type of situation, or have the fights we've had, with any of the guys."

"So you apologized because I'm female?"

"No? Yes? Fuck Bren, I just…I apologized because I needed you to hear it, realized you needed to hear it too. _You_ , that's why. I cared that _you_ heard those words."

"Got it."

Except you didn't really get it? You sort of grasped what he was telling you, that the dynamics of your relationship were different for him because you weren't a guy. It still seemed odd, and you weren't fully comprehending all he said, but you think you got that part right. What you definitely understood though was that he had apologized because he wanted to, and wanted you to know he was sorry. You genuinely appreciated that.

"I'm telling Candice you're not her friend," you stated, trying to bring some levity back to the conversation, easily seeing how uncomfortable he had become.

"After all of the things I've done to her in a ring, I don't think she'd disagree," he laughed, causing you to giggle as well. "No, I mean, she's a friend, sure, just…different."

"You really like that word tonight," you noted.

"It works," Adam shrugged, still avoiding eye contact with you, taking another drink from his glass.

"Don't you hang out with Kelsey and her friends?" He stiffened immediately upon you speaking the female's name. You cocked your head to the side. "…are you still with Kelsey?"

"That ended a while ago," he answered apathetically. "Like, last summer."

"Oh," you chewed at your lip. It was weird to hear that his relationship had ended so many months ago, and you had no clue. You had met Kelsey plenty of times over the, if you had to guess, two years she had been with Adam. It put yet another painful perspective on just how damaged your relationship had gotten that you didn't even know she wasn't a part of his life anymore.

"Was it bad?"

"I mean, it wasn't _good_ ," he acknowledged, causing you to roll your chestnut brown eyes to yourself. "I'm sure she'd prefer to never see me again." With that, he drank the rest of his scotch. "You need more?" He stood up, effectively ending the conversation. You nodded slightly, holding out your glass for him to take. He walked over to the dresser, refilling both glasses with your respective alcohol choices.

When Adam returned, he handed you back your drink, but instead of going to the desk, he moved to be beside you on the bed. He mimicked your position, with his back against the headboard, however he laid his legs out in front of himself. Your shoulders weren't touching, but only by a few inches.

You felt guilty that you had, though unintentionally, brought down the mood in the room by bringing up his, now, ex-girlfriend. You had a lot of questions too about what had happened given his response. What you had seen of their relationship over the years made you think Kelsey had been very devoted to Adam, enamored with him. Adam had always been kind to her in public, but he just wasn't one for big displays of affection, so it wasn't really anything to go by. What happened in private was a mystery to you, but you had never noticed any big cracks showing publicly, so you assumed all had been well. You were apparently wrong given the demise of the relationship.

"She wanted more than I could give her," his voice, though quiet, snapped you from your thoughts, offering answers to your unspoken questions. You looked at him from the corner of your eye, finding him staring ahead towards the turned off television.

"Oh." You didn't know what else to say.

"It was when I was confirmed to start going to Japan," Adam went on to explain. "I guess that was her breaking point, me consistently now having to travel across the world for wrestling. Not just random few day trips. She just didn't understand that this is the point where my career is just starting really, not ending. She wanted routine and settling down and it just wasn't going to happen with me."

You weren't sure how to respond, as you watched him take a large drink of his scotch. Did you tell him it was her loss? Explain that you could see her side of it, even if you didn't particularly like it? Offer generic sympathy and comfort? Say nothing?

"You were lucky with Evan," he stated before you could do any of the above, turning his head ever so slightly to catch your gaze. You felt your heartbeat freeze at the mention of your former husband. "I know you know that, _always_ knew that. But I guess I never realized it. How hard it is to have anything like that."

"It was sometimes," you agreed, your voice barely above a murmur. "It definitely wasn't all the time though."

The conversation faded out, and when Adam offered a minute later to turn on the TV, you agreed without hesitation. You were treading dangerous territory talking about Evan, and you didn't want that heaviness coming into tonight. It wasn't something you wanted to talk about, not with Adam, not right now. You had talked about it plenty with other people over the months, it wasn't like you _couldn't_ manage the conversation. But that wasn't what tonight was about.

Adam scrolled through the channels, you directing him to stop on a movie you saw flash by. He did so, both of you settling back more into the bed. You had spent nights before doing this, usually with other members of the roster though, but the familiarity of just hanging out and being together was nice. You both quietly watched the movie, finishing your drinks. Adam took your glass from you when he saw you were done, setting it beside his on the bedside table. Eventually you found yourself uncomfortable in your current position. So you leaned over to his side, your head going to his shoulder as you continued to watch the movie. He didn't move at your action, didn't react at all actually, so you figured he was OK with it.

And when he shifted his arm to be around your shoulders some moments later, causing your head to fall more into the space between his chest and shoulder, you knew he was OK with it.

You lost interest in the movie after a while, your brain replaying the night's events instead. A lot had transpired over the course of a couple hours. It looked like you and Adam had finally, _finally_ , made amends. You observed him from your place resting against him, looking upwards at his face. You liked this side of him, this nice and genuine and comforting side. You hoped it was a part of him you would get to keep seeing. Life was easier this way, less work, less stress. He must have felt your gaze because he looked down towards you.

"What?"

"Tomorrow, we're not going to go back to all that hating each other stuff, right?" You had to ask. You had to know that tonight wasn't just another one-off event, an anomaly, in your guys' story. You couldn't handle that, not again. You needed this to be a genuine healing encounter, an actual step forward.

"Bren, I **never** hated you," Adam affirmed, his tone forceful, his blue eyes searching yours, as though he had to make you believe him. "…I never will."

You processed his words the best you could in your alcohol-addled mind, though the second sentence confused you beyond just the wine haze. Why wouldn't he ever hate you? How could he be so sure of that? Wasn't everyone capable of hate given the right reasons? The future could be anything, anything could happen, and some of those things could certainly lead to him hating you, right? Did he have a crystal ball to see the future?

"We'll be fine tomorrow," he reassured you, drawing your attention back to him, squeezing you closer to his side.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

You believed him. He looked so sincere, and his actions backed up his words. It made you feel a sense of relief, knowing that you no longer would have to act apprehensive or hostile around him. You weren't stupid, you didn't think everything was exactly back to a way it was a year ago, but you knew that things were at least better.

The two of your continued to gaze at one another, and you felt so _close_ to him. Not just physically, which was a given. But emotionally, mentally. You finally felt like your friendship was real again, like there were no more barriers between the two of you. Slowly you brought your hand up towards him, before resting it ever so lightly against his bearded cheek. Adam regarded you silently, evidently letting you act however you felt you needed to, or too unsure to stop you.

You gave him a chance to pull back, and when he didn't, you lifted yourself up ever so slightly, before putting your lips to his gingerly. You weren't entirely confident in your actions, not even sure what your intentions were. But you knew you wanted to do this on some level.

So you didn't think, and just put a bit more pressure in to the kiss. It was only then that Adam responded to your actions, his arm around you dropping lower, secure around your side, giving you both a more comfortable angle against one another. His own hand came up, gripping at your wrist, as he took control of the kiss. Part of you felt solace at this, having not kissed anyone in a year, and no one like this ever in your life except Evan. This was completely uncharted territory for you.

You felt his arm around you pulling you closer, the hand on your wrist removing your own hand from his face, settling it down to his side. He let go then, bringing his now free hand up to your cheek, his thumb resting just in front of your ear, his fingers threading in your hair along the side of your head. The kiss itself had turned almost eager in some measure, his tongue gliding across your lower lip, causing you to allow him entrance in to your mouth.

When your tongues finally touched, it seemed to change everything for him. Adam suddenly pulled back from you, ending the kiss, dropping his hand from your face. He moved his arm from around your side as well. It was at this that you opened your eyes, sitting up as you had been leaning in towards him. He shifted himself back, straightening up, though he put actual distance between the two of you. For some reason, that stung you a bit.

"Brenna…" He spoke quietly, as you stared at him, trying to focus after your interaction. He was looking at you with an expression on his face you couldn't quite pinpoint. Confused? Regretful? Worried? D, all of the above?

"You don't want this."

And just like that, you no longer had to figure out what his countenance meant. Because it didn't matter. He had made up his mind, and your mind for you. His words removed any and all fog that had been left around your brain from the intimate encounter. This moment was **done**.

"Fine." You slid off the bed, looking around slowly for your flats, not trying to make a scene. When you located them near the dresser, you walked over and slid them back on. You picked up your cell phone and keycard, too in your own mind to hear Adam get off the bed behind you.

"Bren…"

"I'll see you tomorrow," you stated evenly, turning around, surprised at how close he was to you. He was maybe a foot away, standing just at the edge of the bed. He looked… _sad_? No, maybe not sad. Concerned? Hell, you couldn't tell. You just knew he didn't look happy with the situation, and that meant he wasn't happy with you.

"Adam, it's fine. We're fine. We'll move past it," you told him, trying to put as much resolve in to your words as you could manage, which honestly, wasn't much at this point. This night had exhausted you emotionally, and you were confused, and you just wanted to go to sleep to be done with it all.

"Yea," he agreed, albeit less than enthusiastically. "You OK to get back to your room?"

"I'm not _that_ drunk," you muttered, annoyed at his unsaid implication.

"Didn't say you were," Adam responded. "Just want you to be safe." You gave him a look that was mostly disbelieving.

"Bye," you declared. Before you could turn to leave though, he stepped towards you, and reached out, gently grasping you by your upper arms. A second later, he laid a light kiss to your forehead, lingering for just a moment. Your eyes closed at the gesture, your breath caught in your chest.

"Let me know when you're at your room," he requested, his words spoken into your hair, after which he released you. You looked up to him, nodding ever so slightly, before you walked out of his room, the door closing behind you. It was only then you could breathe again.


	6. Chapter 6

_I fucked up._

You stared down at your phone as the bar moved across the top of the screen, indicating the message was being sent to Candice. It was late morning, and you were sprawled on your back on your bed in your hotel room, fully dressed for the day and packed to leave. But you didn't feel ready to do that, given the amount of feelings running through your mind. You had thought about messaging your best friend at home, Lauren, but you felt given Candice was more familiar with Adam, she was the best friend you needed to seek out in this moment. You'd tell Lauren everything later.

When you initially woke up, you had a minor headache, which after some ibuprofen and water was finally soothed. You at first hadn't lucidly remember last night…and then you **had**. It all came crashing back down on you. There were some blurry edges around parts of your conversation with Adam, but you clearly remembered all of the actions. Him touching you, you touching him. You initiating the kiss. Him letting you…then stopping you. His words to you.

 _You don't want this_.

Who was he to tell you what you wanted? **You** didn't even know what you wanted! You certainly hadn't wanted to make up with him only to then make out with him. Yet, here you were, the morning after, all of that having happened. Because in the moment last night, you had in fact wanted to kiss him. Apparently? You still weren't sure what motivated your actions honestly.

He was just _there_ , being so sweet, and you _had_ been drinking, though you weren't drunk, and something just made you want to do it. A clouded judgement call because he was kind of pretty? A craving for intimacy that you hadn't had in months? A stupid decision as a stupid attempt at further reconciliation? _Hey Adam, instead of yelling at you, let me put my tongue down your throat_ , you mocked yourself in your own head. _Dumbass_.

Your phone ringing brought you back to the present. It didn't surprise you to see it was Candice calling, and after swiping on the screen, you pressed the object to your ear.

"I fucked up," you reiterated.

"I got that," she replied. "What did you do?"

"I kissed Adam." You figured straight to the point would be best.

"You **WHAT**?"

"I kissed Adam," you repeated, before groaning and throwing a hand over your face. For some reason saying it out loud to your best friend brought a new side of realism to the situation.

"You said kissed right? Not killed? _Kissed_?"

"Yes, Candice, I kissed Adam, OK? Please stop making me say it. It doesn't feel right saying it," you emphasized.

"…why?"

"For real? Uh, first off, maybe because, it's _Adam_?"

"OK, and…?"

"Candice, you're fucking with me right?" You couldn't understand why she was suddenly less shocked by the situation, as though who it had happened with was somehow logical to her. It shouldn't be. It wasn't to you.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, yes you kissing Adam is completely unexpected. But you kissing anyone would be unexpected to me right now, to be honest," she explained.

"It was unexpected to me too," you assured her, just short of resentfully. "But did it have to be _Adam_?"

"What led to it?"

You went on to give her a brief summation of the night; dinner where he ignored you, you confronting him, him exploding, which then led to the discussion in his hotel room. Your apologies to each other. The scotch and wine. His cryptic statements to you about being _different_ and also his disclosure to no longer being in a relationship. The TV movie. His reassurance that things would be just fine for the two of you now. Your actions.

By the end, you felt even more confused than you had before. Nothing in your narrative seemed to tell you why you had kissed him. Replaying it back to Candice, you had hoped some part of it would stick out, as if to say 'yes, THIS is why you did that'. But nothing did. You again told Candice about your lack of understanding of your own actions, especially given the history you had with Adam.

"You guys are comfortable with each other, right? He's not some stranger. And knowing you, moving on from Evan…it's not going to be _with_ a stranger. And I'm not saying like you and Adam are going to have a relationship now, but I get why the first person you kissed since Evan was someone like Adam, someone you **know**. It's like he's…safe, I guess?" Candice words made sense you supposed, but they didn't bring you as much relief as you had hoped.

"Whyyyyy did I push to reconcile with him?" You bemoaned, closing your eyes. "I should have just let him ignore me and ignored him back. But no, I had to have _answers_ and now here we are, no better off than before!"

"I dunno, I think kissing someone is better than punching them."

"That's because you're pure and innocent and kinky things don't matter to you."

"OK, but…not what I meant by that," Candice giggled.

"Seriously, I punched him a few months ago. He was one of the people I wanted to see least up until, shit, until last night practically," you realized. "Why the hell did kissing him make sense to me last night? I wasn't _that_ drunk, I know I wasn't."

"Well…he's not exactly the most unattractive man in the world," your friend highlighted. "And you had been drinking, however little or much, so you weren't 100% on the defense. And you guys were being all emotional and close and ya know, it's really not as far-fetched as you think it is. He's pretty much the only guy I can think of in our lives where it's not like it would be incestuous or just _weird_ or _wrong_ for you to kiss."

"But it IS weird," you argued. "I feel weird."

"Do you feel weird because you kissed Adam? Or because you think you aren't hating what you did overall as much as you should?"

"Both?" You were guessing, at best. "I mean, I know I _can_ move on from Evan, logically I'm sure I will, but I hadn't plan to at this point."

"I don't think you can plan those kinds of things, hon," Candice replied, her tone gentle. "You can't just be like 'OK, and on **this** Tuesday is the day I will no longer miss my husband and I will start being interested in someone else'."

"I know that," you sighed. "I just mean…I kind of, I guess, had it in my head that it'd be at least a year before I even contemplated it? Like, I still miss him, every day. Because the most random things make me think of him. And who he was to me, that can't just be replaced. It just…I don't _hurt_ the same, but it aches a lot."

"Of course it does. That's part of the healing process. It doesn't happen just over night, and I'm sure for years to come, you'll still have that ache in some ways. But Brenna, telling yourself you have a timeline to handle your grief and move on, that's just setting yourself up to fail."

You knew she was right, deep in your soul you knew it, but it didn't feel OK to you entirely. How could you justify being with a man for nine years, and moving on from him in under one? Granted, it was now 11 months ago you'd lost him, but even so. It wasn't a year.

"And again, it's not like you slept with Adam last night. You kissed him. That's pretty low-level stuff right there honestly. Not saying that if you had slept with him it would be make you the devil, but just kissing him definitely doesn't make you the devil," Candice guaranteed.

"How do I face him after this, Candice? Like seriously. We've been at each other's throats for weeks," you pointed out.

"Not last night you weren't. You were at each other's mouths." You could hear the smirking pride on her face in her voice.

"You're not cute," you declared coolly.

"I'm _adorable_ ," she argued cheerfully, before becoming serious again. "Bren, listen to me, I know Adam. He's a downright jackass to a lot of people, and he means it. And he's been a jackass to you, but he never meant it. He wanted to make things right with you for a while, and yea, maybe he's gone about it the wrong way, but then so have you. You both have done things that haven't been the smartest or the best or whatever. But this kiss? I can promise you, this isn't going to be the final straw for you guys."

"How do you know?"

"Because, you both want to be in each other's lives too much. If you didn't, you wouldn't have spent all this time fighting and what not."

You were vaguely upset at how much sense Candice was making now. You couldn't argue her point. Clearly you cared about Adam, about his friendship, or else, she was right, you wouldn't keep confronting him and fighting him and demanding explanations. If you didn't care at all, after that first confrontation, you would have left well enough alone.

"Maybe all this fighting was just foreplay for you both?" Candice considered, causing you to roll your eyes.

"…I take back my earlier 'innocent' comment about you."

"Oh, shut up. And also, Joey Ryan, kind of one of my best friends. I _know_ things that I cannot un-know thanks to him," Candice stated, and you could envision her shuddering, making you laugh.

"Yea, he's a wealth of filthy knowledge," you agreed. "Also, the internet. Scary place, yo."

"For real," your friend giggled with concurrence. "Look, just, don't work yourself up, OK? This will be fine."

"I don't believe you, but sure," you responded. "I guess I should just go face him and get it over with."

"Stop acting like you're going to your death," Candice chided. "Just, please take this piece of advice: **do** go face him and don't let this not get talked about. That's how you guys got yourselves in this mess to start."

"Yea…communication, not our strong point."

"Oh, yea, no," she agreed quickly. "Definitely not."

After saying your goodbyes to Candice, you laid on your bed for a moment longer, trying to feel at all settled in the situation. But you didn't. So you supposed it was just best to get on with it.

You grabbed up your bags, and checked out of the hotel, before getting in to a cab. The Briscoes had offered to wait for you, but you had sent them on their way earlier. It was nothing against them necessarily; you just wanted as much time to think and be and plan by yourself as possible.

The cab got you to the venue much quicker than you had anticipated. After paying and getting your items out, you walked in to the venue with your suitcase rolling behind you. Finding the girls' locker room was easy enough, and you set your stuff in a corner. Taking your phone from your purse, you took in a deep breath, and set out to find Adam.

It didn't take you too long to navigate the backstage area. You passed many people you knew, saying quick greetings to them, but continuing on your way. When you didn't locate him, you wandered out in to the actual arena part of the building. And sure enough he was standing around in a group, talking and laughing amongst themselves.

You watched Adam for a moment, knowing this was what you had to do, no matter how worried or nervous or scared you were. Doing your best to have your head held high, you walked over to the group. Greetings were exchanged amongst all of you, with some brief chit chat and smiles. You gently set your hand on Adam's arm, causing his blue eyes to come to yours for the first time since you had walked up.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Yea." His response was short, curt, and led to you both, without further words, walking away from the group. You walked side by side with him, though you were the one leading the two of you along. You wound your way through the hallways, further back in to the event center, until you saw an empty room that didn't look like it would be occupied any time soon. You walked in, Adam following, shutting the door after himself.

There wasn't much in the room, a longer table, a couple of scattered chairs. You didn't feel like sitting, too wired with emotions. You kept a few feet between yourself and Adam, who had taken to leaning back against the wall beside the door. He was regarding you, his face without expression, which didn't help you feel any better either. You couldn't read anything about him in that moment; was he just as unsettled by last night as you were? Did he not care at all?

"What's up?"

That was his opening question? You started to realize that maybe he wasn't bothered by last night like you were. Maybe he didn't even remember it? Oh god, did he not _remember_ it? Were you the only one who knew what had transgressed between the two of you? Should you just not say anything then?

"I just…wanted to talk about last night," you explained, a noticeable lack of conviction in your tone.

"Alcohol is a hell of a thing, Bren. It's OK. And I know you didn't truly… _want_ to do that with me last night, it was just a thing that happened."

So he did remember. That was good to know. But you couldn't help but get irked at the fact that he was, once again, telling you what you wanted. What right did he have in doing that? Why did he get to make judgement calls on your behalf now at all times?

"Can you please stop telling me what I **want**? I'm sick of you thinking you know what's best for me."

"I'm right though!" He argued back, stepping away from the wall, so he was standing upright, though there was still distance between you both.

"How the hell can you know that?" You challenged, your hands going to your hips.

"Because I know _you_ ," Adam said. "And I know that right now, this isn't what you need with me."

After his statement, he appeared to deflate some, the angry tension leaving his posture. You watched on curiously, his words not making much sense. _Need with him?_ You observed him as he ran a hand over the top of his hair, before crossing his arms over his chest. He seemed to close in on himself in this stance.

"How?" You inquired again, but this time with your voice having lost most of its own heated edge. "What does that even mean?"

"How many years have we known each other?" He countered, switching the topic quickly.

"I don't know. Five? Six?"

"And that whole time, you were always with Evan. From the day I met you, you were in a relationship with Evan. We all knew it, everyone, and it just…it put you in this… _different_ category for all of us. We could only see you as friend, or little sister, or whatever. It took away any of that confusion or choice in the matter."

There was that word again. Different. **Different**. Why were you always so different to him?

"Adam…I don't understand…"

"Come on Bren, yes you _do_ ," he argued, practically pleading with you, his arms dropping to his sides. "You're not new to this business, world we live in. You know how it plays out with women around here a lot of the times. But you…you got to transcend all of that bullshit. We didn't have to try to figure you out, how'd you be. It was obvious you were just here for wrestling, and making friends and family. No one could try to sleep with you or any of that shit either because it just _wasn't an option_."

"OK? Is there something wrong with that?"

"No, no, of course not," Adam insisted. "But that was… _then_."

You knew you had to ask what he meant, but you dreaded doing so. This conversation had taken such a sharp turn. He had clearly come prepared to speak with you, had gotten his thoughts in order. And you had a feeling you knew where this was headed, but you weren't positive, and you definitely weren't ready to handle it if you were right. You wanted to be wrong, didn't want any more inconsistency around the two of you. Taking a shallow breath, you pushed on, because ignoring things was what got you in this chaos in the first place basically. You had promised Candice after all.

"…and now?"

"Now…you're my _friend_ , Brenna. … But for some fucking stupid reason, I can't just keep you in that box the same way anymore," he said, sounding mad at himself about this. "Without Evan…that wall, that distance we've always had to have _just because_ …is gone. And now you're not… Look, I told you before, you're not just one of the guys, Bren. You never were really, and you're just…definitely not now."

Your head was spinning, you felt jittery all over. Had he really just told you that? What was he **really** trying to say? What was going on right now? You weren't prepared for this conversation. You had come to him, thinking you just needed to smooth over some weirdness from a kiss, laugh it off, move on. You hadn't even at all entertained the idea that this discussion would go so off the rails for you.

"I don't like this, this lack of control I have with you. That's not _me_. I'm always in charge, I always have a plan," he declared, appearing to take your silence as a need for more clarification. "But with you…I never know what I'm doing, what you're doing. It bugs the hell out of me that the second I see you, I have no idea what's going to happen."

"To be fair, neither do I really," you spoke quietly, and a smile twitched on his face.

"I figured as much," he replied.

You chewed at your lip, finding it harder and harder to keep looking at him, wanting more than anything to just hide into yourself right now. This was just **too much**. You had no idea what to say. You still weren't even fully understanding his intent at this point either. It was a bit ambiguous whatever his aim was in telling you all this.

"I'm not trying to come at you and overwhelm you," Adam stated, seemingly not oblivious to your body language and reaction. "And I'm also not saying I have some like, long-standing unrequited crush on you. Anything that this is, it's because of recent events. So what I'm saying is, when it comes to you and being just your friend, this is new territory for me and I don't know what to do because everything is just so different now."

"Stop saying different," you requested, your distaste growing for that word more and more each time it was used. It didn't tell you anything concrete, it just made you more unsure each time. And that was getting on your nerves.

"I'm sorry? I don't know what else to call it though. Because that's what it is," he explained. "You, your world, you in _my_ world, anything between us…it's **different** now. We can't pretend it's not."

"I know it's not," you asserted. "Believe me, I'm well aware my entire life isn't what it was a year ago."

"Then you have to understand, in some way, why I'm having a hard time figuring you, _us_ , out," Adam reasoned.

"I mean, yea, sure. It's not like last night, the last few weeks, haven't confused me and made me question everything too. But I just…I didn't think it ran as deep as it apparently does," you said, uncertain and dazed.

"Things changed in Atlanta for me," he admitted, looking at you, almost with guilt. "Before that too, to some extent. The way you are to me…I don't know. I'm not sure _how_ to be around you anymore. You weren't a part of my life for so many months, and then you were, and it's just been… _crazy_. And kissing you last night…"

"Do you regret it?" Your question cut him off, and his face changed to one of surprise. He clearly wasn't thinking you were going to ask him that.

"…Yes? …No? I mean, I know I _should_ …" He trailed off, just watching you, almost helpless in his inability to give you a direct answer.

"…but you don't." You finished for him, your voice a whisper. You didn't know why his words, these words, affected you so much more than the others. You thought you regretted the kiss, in some ways at least. You had to. It hadn't been premeditated. It hadn't been an idea you had until it happened. It certainly had not been a part of your life plan.

"Not entirely."

His admission made your heart rate increase more than it was already was. You had not expected any of this. You had expected Adam to be on the same page as you, slightly puzzled and weirded out, and just trying to move past last night's events. You had not expected it to mean anything to him, beyond a drunken-at-best mistake. You certainly hadn't expected him to have any type of muddled feelings for you that weren't exclusively of the friend variety.

"I _liked_ kissing you," he murmured, causing your breath to catch even further. "I hadn't **wanted** to stop it last night."

"…you did though?"

"Because I _had_ to," Adam stressed. He sighed, looking down to the ground for a moment, before taking in a breath of his own, and looking back up to you. "We haven't been able to, not once, be together without something… _eventful_ happening lately. You…no matter that it's been almost a year, you're still in a lot of ways getting over Evan, I know that. And I can't…both of those aren't things I can ignore."

He paused, his gaze gentle as he looked you over. It took all your resolve to look back at him. You were uncomfortable; not because of what he was telling you necessarily, but because this situation was so surprising and so foreign. He was right in saying that since you had accosted him in December, things hadn't been calm in the least.

"I just…I had to stop it last night," he reaffirmed. "What I think of you, whatever that is, I can't let that be important right now. I'll figure it out myself. But while doing that, I'm not going to let you put yourself in a position for more problems to handle. You don't need that."

Despite him telling you want you needed again, this time it didn't rub you the wrong way like it usually did. Somewhere in you, you appreciated his sentiments actually. You appreciated he was cognizant of your on-going healing heartbreak. He was trying to look out for your best interest, and was putting your mental wellbeing above his in a way. Despite his own confusion, desire, wants, what have you, he was putting yours first.

"Look, let's just, try to be the friends we have been literally fighting to be for weeks now, OK? We'll just hang out, be around each other, let things settle down a bit. I think that's what we need right now."

"Yea…OK," you agreed, halfheartedly. You knew he had a valid point, that things had been nothing but chaos for the two of you for weeks. And whatever feelings he was having for you now, he hadn't anticipated he'd have. You hadn't anticipated you'd kiss him either. There was just too much emotion, too much confusion, in every interaction you had with each other lately. Maybe some respectable distance would do you both good.

"You know, this has been hard on me too. The whole, category, box, whatever, thing," you disclosed. "In a different way than you, but it's still changed. I mean, I was always the advice giver, the person that people trusted to keep their secrets and take care of them, and that it was OK to be human with me without judgement. And then with everything that happened…roles got reversed in a lot of ways. **I** was the one people had to take care of. It wasn't easy for me to accept that."

"I know," he assured you sympathetically. "We all just…have a lot to come to terms with, I guess. But we'll get here, Bren."

"I hope so." And you really did. You had come much too far in the past eleven months for it all to go to hell now. Even though you hadn't predicted you'd be here in this situation with Adam, you knew all you could do now was see it through. However it turned out though, that was very much up for debate.

* * *

"If you have chemistry you only need one other thing…. Timing. But timing's a bitch." - HIMYM

Y'all please don't hate me! It's not the end, I promise. I've got a handful of chapters still planned at this point. But it'll all depend on how the writing goes. Sometimes it takes me places I didn't plan honestly. :)

Thank you all so much for the reviews/favorites/etc. They are so appreciated!


	7. Chapter 7

"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." - Joseph Campbell

* * *

"Wait, are you sure you can be involved in the match tonight?" Jay Briscoe asked, raising his eyebrows, as you sat backstage at a table in the venue in New York City.

"Uh, yea, I think I'll be fine," you brushed his concern away.

"I mean, you'll have a bandage on it, right?" His worry over your minor involvement in their match that night now made you roll your eyes.

"Yes, father, I will," you smirked, expecting the glare you got in response. "Relax, dude. It's been three days. It's already healing just fine. And as long as no one straight up hits me there, it'll be OK."

"It looks good," he concurred, causing you to smile softly, turning to gaze down at where, beneath your shirt, the new tattoo rested along your shoulder, above your collar bone. It was not too big, simply the word 'hallelujah' written in black script.

It was no secret that you had gotten the tattoo, another one in your small-ish collection. You had it done three days ago, on the anniversary of Evan's death. It was what you were looking at as your closing act to that specific chapter in your life. You were one of _those_ people, who believed that anniversaries and notable occasions needed to be marked.

You had made it to 'a year', the point you had set for yourself. You didn't feel nearly as perfect as you thought you would, but you also now understood that you couldn't predict these things. You did feel better though; lighter, happier.

Acceptance, that was the stage in the grief cycle you were, at long last, truly on. It was time to move on even more than you already had; keeping his memory, but letting your life occur organically. You couldn't keep telling yourself you had to wait for this, or that, to happen in order to be past it. You knew you would have an ache for a long time in you without him, but you could manage that.

In the past couple weeks, you had decided you just had to let life go on. Evan would always be with you in some way, and that was all you needed to know. You weren't about to start sleeping with every man you met, but you also weren't going to have being a widow be a leading characteristic of yourself all the time. You felt secure in pushing onward in life.

After the tattoo had been done, you had posted it on Instagram. Somehow you had become encouragement, validation, for others going through losses. You weren't overly sharing your pain and experiences on the internet, but you weren't shy about being real about what it was doing to you either. That had struck a chord with people.

 _1 year later…._

 _I've never been one for religion. Always felt forced & constricting & contradictory. But I know religion for many is a relief. It gives answers. It gives control over to someone else. It gives purpose. It gives direction & structure. The idea of heaven & hell gives some type of peace of mind. Bad people get no rewards in death, while good people do. I like that part. I like thinking maybe the people I've loved & lost are somewhere happy._

 _It's always fascinated me how many people "find" religion in times of sorrow. I guess it's a comfort to believe that everything has a reason & greater meaning, even if at the time you don't understand it. I never got it before, why in times of tragedy you would suddenly change your outlook. But I've gained an understanding in the last year._

 _I'm not attending church anytime soon. I'm staying Team Agnostic._

 _Evan was religious to an extent. It brought him a lot of comfort to have God, to pray, to believe. Who was I to tell him otherwise? He did his thing, I did mine. We compromised when needed._

 _That said, we played Jeff Buckley's 'Hallelujah' at the end of his funeral. It felt right. For all of the reasons above & hundreds I haven't stated._

 _This tattoo is for him. For all the other people I've lost and like to think are watching over me. For the comfort I've found in travel & new experiences & old friends. For the peace I've been able to make with my life. For the adventures I have yet to be on._

 _I have no true answers. I probably never will. But I'm lucky because what I do have is time & hope & really good people around me._

 _Live, and let live, and let go._

 _"Maybe there's a God above._

 _But all I've ever learned from love,_

 _Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya._

 _And it's not a cry that you hear at night,_

 _It's not somebody who's seen the light._

 _It's a cold & it's a broken Hallelujah."_

Your caption had been long on the picture, but after posting it, you had in some ways been calmer. You had rewritten it over a dozen times to be honest, before you thought it got across the point correctly. This was in Evan's memory yes, but it was just as much a symbol of you having gotten through a massive tragedy. And you were still standing: stronger, smarter, just as capable as you were before. Maybe even more.

Adam had texted you afterwards, clearly having seen your social media post. _Looks good_ , was all his message had read.

Since Texas a month ago, you both had managed to be around each other without anything else _eventful_ happening. You'd made it through some other ROH and PWG shows just fine. There had been dinners where everyone laughed; after-show beers with friends in hotel rooms without fights breaking out. He had been in Japan wrestling, while you had been all over America. You'd texted one another throughout the weeks, checking in after matches, relaying funny stories from the road, asking if the other had heard a song or seen a TV show.

It seemed like there was a genuine friendship between the two of you.

Finally.

Except…you couldn't let go of all of the things he had told you in San Antonio.

Especially not after talking to Lauren and Candice. Your best friends, bless them, had decided they could see right through his words, and all but smacked you in the face with the reality of it.

Lauren, the far bigger believer in fate and kismet and all that jazz, had immediately declared Adam was in love with you given what he had said and done. You decided that was just a little bit dramatic. Candice had been more along the lines you were comfortable with; Adam clearly had feelings for you, but wasn't sure what exactly they were or how to handle them. And out of respect for you, he wasn't going to try to actively figure it out with you either.

Both girls, however, conveyed that you needed to stop putting restrictions on yourself. They wanted you to stop telling yourself you had to wait for something else to happen before you reacted, or thinking you had no right to be ready to move forward. They agreed you needed to do something, anything, to progress the situation. _You have someone who wants to be with you, figure it all out with you, right in front of you! Do not waste that_ , Lauren's words stuck with you.

All of this just made you hyper aware of any of the interactions Adam had with you. While on the surface you were maintaining an image of friendly, relaxed, it never felt like it was _just that_ , at least not to you. You kept seeing motive, meaning, in every exchange, be it in person or over a cell phone.

Once he had put his arm around your shoulders while you had been talking in a group, and it just hadn't seemed the same as when any of the other guys did it. It didn't feel causal; it felt possessive, intimate. Another time while at a bar, he had stood behind you, close, ordering a drink over your shoulder, and feeling his body against you had made your breathing stop. You hated that you were analyzing every contact you had with him, but you couldn't stop yourself. Anytime he was in your personal bubble, it caused a reaction for you. And any time he texted you, which had become a daily occurrence, asking your opinion or thoughts on something, it made you smile, usually involuntarily.

You had never looked at Adam beyond the scope of friend, but after what he had said to you, after what the two of you had done together, it was hard to not let your mind go there. You weren't sure where you were at with regards to him. You completely understood what he was saying when he explained that it was not so easy to put one another in a clear-cut category anymore. Did you have a fleeting crush on him? Genuinely like him? Actually want to be with him? All of it? None of it?

Things were _different_ , and you really didn't like that he had been right with regards to using that word so often.

The entire matter also terrified you.

You'd only ever been with Evan, at least in a way that was significant. Childish middle school relationships full of giggling when you held hands just didn't count. Evan was your definition of **real** love. It was hard to think of anyone else fulfilling that role, meeting those expectations, making you so happy. You knew, logically, someone could, probably would. But you still assumed it to be just slightly out of reach to you.

Your brain, your heart, and your soul were all just at war within you. For every point one made, another had a counterpoint. It was overwhelming most of the time. And not a whole lot of fun.

"I'm gonna go get ready," you told Jay, pushing your current life indecision back to the back of your mind, where it had been living for some time.

"See ya, bug," he responded, with a short wave. Sighing at the childish, yet endearing, nickname, you got up from the table and headed to what was the women's locker room for the night.

You were relieved none of the girls wrestling that night were in there. You liked your coworkers, had become genuine friends with a few of them. But right now, you just wanted to get ready in quiet, and settle your racing thoughts. You hadn't yet seen Adam tonight, and you couldn't deny you were anxious about it.

Playing music from your phone as you flitted around the locker room, getting dressed for the night, you enjoyed the calm that you had somehow managed to find for the moment. You knew tonight was going to be busy, a lead in to the anniversary PPV next week. So for now, you had on a playlist of less frantic songs. A lot of the songs had been comforting for you over the years, a way to reflect and put words to your emotions when you otherwise couldn't. It was amazing how music always had a way to make life better, easier, even when it was anything but.

 _Well, I've been afraid of changing,_

 _'_ _Cause I've built my life around you._

 _But time makes you bolder,_

 _Even children get older,_

 _And I'm getting older too._

You slid on your black long-sleeved body suit, which had an open back, adjusting it as needed. You then pulled on a tan ruffled thigh-length skirt up your legs, zipping it up, and turning it so it laid how you wanted. Grabbing your makeup case, you sat down in the folding chair in the room, placing the items on the small table next to it.

As you worked on your make-up, the music continued to swirl around you, multiple songs playing as you not only completed your face, but also your hair, which you left hanging loose in waves.

 _This is my relapse,_

 _That I've succumb to._

 _I went through things no one should have to._

 _I could have never let this slip,_

 _I could have let this slip._

 _-0-_

 _I've been everywhere around the world and finally here tonight._

 _You seem to be the only one to make me feel alright._

 _I feel good when I know you're coming down._

 _I feel good when I know you'll be around._

 _-0-_

 _An angel got his wings,_

 _And we'll hold our heads up knowing that he's fine._

 _We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime._

 _Friends stay side by side,_

 _In life and death you've always stole my heart._

 _You'll always mean so much to me, it's hard to believe this._

 _-0-_

 _I caught you burnin' photographs,_

 _Like that could save you from your past._

 _History is like gravity,_

 _It holds you down away from me._

 _You and me, we've both got sins,_

 _I don't care about where you've been._

 _Don't be sad and don't explain,_

 _This is where we start again._

 _-0-_

 _Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,_

 _Shit talking up all night,_

 _Saying things we haven't for a while._

 _We're smiling but we're close to tears._

 _Even after all these years,_

 _We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time._

When you were satisfied with your look, you put away all of your items, and turned off your music. You left out some sweatpants and slip-ons to put on after the show, knowing you would want to change before going to the hotel. You grabbed your thigh-high black boots, sliding them on and securing them to yourself. Standing up, you looked yourself over once more, before deciding it was time to head out in to the Ring of Honor backstage craziness. Making sure you had your phone in a small wristlet, which you also put a lipstick and compact in for touch-ups, you left the locker room.

And immediately you collided right in to somebody.

"Oh shit, sorry!" _Damn. Fuck._ His hands were immediately gripping your upper arms, steadying you on your feet. "You OK?"

"Yea, fine," you answered, causing him to let go of you, leaving your skin feeling warm. Looking up, you met Adam's blue eyes, and took in the grin on his face. "Were you just coming in?"

"I mean, I can definitely be a sleaze ball sometimes, but no, I was actually going to knock, I swear," he said, the smile on his face getting wider when you pursued your lips and raised your eyebrows. "Have you eaten yet?"

"No."

"C'mon, Matt brought stuff for us," Adam nodded his head to the side, indicating he wanted you to come with him. But you didn't move. So neither did he. "…what?"

"I didn't tell Matt to bring me anything?"

"I did."

"Oh." For the first time since you'd ran in to him, you saw Adam genuinely in front of you, in a t-shirt and jeans. You were pretty sure he had a meet and greet before the show, so apparently he wasn't changing in to his ring gear for it. And he also had apparently taken it upon himself to get you dinner. Which was sweet of him.

"So…food, or no…?"

"Um, yea, yes," you stumbled out, with the tiniest half-smile on your face. When you went to walk past him, he stopped you however, his hand light on your wrist. You turned your head towards your shoulder, so you were able to look over at him.

"You look amazing," he stated, his voice low. He was _close_ , having stopped you mere inches away from him, and every one of your senses was very aware of him.

"Thanks," you whispered. Had his cologne always been this nice? And did he always give off so much body heat? Was he always looking at you in this way, like he wanted you? Would he reject you if you kissed him again? Should you just find out?

You turned yourself a few more inches towards him, put your hand on his cheek, and placed your lips to his.

He didn't react right away, whether that was because of sheer surprise or personal restraint, you didn't know. But after a moment, when you didn't pull back, you felt his hand settle on your hip, and he returned the kiss.

Despite your current state of affairs, which was causing your entire body to feel electric, you were still aware you were in the hallway. Stepping backwards slightly, you guided Adam with you.

"Locker-room," you breathed out against his lips, explaining your actions, as you shuffled your hand blindly behind yourself on the wall until you found the handle to the door. It was as though your words increased the emotion in the kiss, turning it almost desperate, as his tongue went into your mouth. You fumbled for a moment trying to turn the handle, caught up in the now heated kiss, and the way Adam's arm slid to encircle your waist.

The both of you moved through the doorway once able to, Adam supporting you so you didn't stumble in your boots. He shoved the door shut with his free hand once you were inside, then tangled that hand in to your hair. You shifted your hand from his face to the back of his neck, your nails scratching against the base of his skull. With his arm around your waist, he pressed his hand in to the small of your back, causing you to arch forward. Your wristlet dropped to the floor from your other hand, allowing you to instead grip at his side, fingers tangling in to his shirt.

Sufficiently wrapped up in each other, you weren't even thinking about anything anymore, just how much you enjoyed feeling him, being close to him. This was completely new in some ways from your other kiss, especially being you hadn't been drinking, but some parts of it felt familiar. The actual desire between the two of you to be doing this was definitely heightened more this time. It was evidenced in every motion, and the literal hold you had on each other.

He pulled you with him, as he rested back against the wall, securing your body against his. Being pressed against him, front to front, brought a whole new dynamic to your interaction. You could feel every part of him, all firm and warm, and despite his grip on you, somehow gentle. With every move of his tongue with yours, you wanted to be even closer to him. It was all so very visceral.

You weren't sure if it was a moan or a groan that came from you when his hand slid up your back and on to the exposed skin of your back and shoulder blades.

" _Fuck_." Whatever sound it was, Adam had clearly heard it. He stopped kissing you, and you could feel his breath, heavy like yours, as he parted from you. "Shit…" You wanted him to just kiss you again, and leaned slightly to make it happen.

"Bren…" You knew then by his tone, he had broken the kiss with a purpose. You kept your eyes closed for a second, so you could swallow your now wounded pride. Letting go of him, you stepped back and away. It was only once there was distance that you opened your eyes. He looked far more troubled than you expected him to. You could only imagine how you looked to him. _Pathetic, probably_.

"I get it," you murmured, your shoulders slack, hoping to just end the moment and be done with the entire situation. He had just been caught up probably, his feelings were likely not the same as before. Everything your friends had said was wrong, and anything you had felt had been misled. This had been a mistake.

You shouldn't have let your physical desires direct your behaviors; you should have listened to your cautious brain.

"Do you get it? Because I really don't think you do," Adam argued, peaking your interest, as he pushed off from the wall. "I'm doing everything I possible fucking can to not an asshole here, for you or me. And you just _kissing_ me…."

"Yes Adam, that was a one person event that just happened," you rolled your eyes, his own narrowing in response. "But go on, tell me. What does that all mean?"

"It means, that yea, when I met you, of course I had a crush on you. Hell, half the locker room did. But you had Evan, and that was that, and it was easy to let it go because it couldn't ever matter. And then we all just became friends and family, and life was clearly defined." He paused, taking in your reaction.

You were pretty sure all he saw was a blank face, because these were things he had spoken to you before. Why did he have to repeat himself? You heard it the first time. It didn't exactly feel wonderful hearing it a second time either.

"And then…then Evan wasn't here anymore. And you and I…we've gone down this weird path of avoidance and confrontation and reconciliation and more confusion. That's all these past few months have been. But in all that…somehow, I don't know, I realized that without that just immediate, unspoken boundary, I can't help but see you differently. I can't ignore you when you're around. And I want you to _be_ around. I **do** like you. As the person I get to talk to…hang out with…kiss."

You knew he could see some surprise in your eyes now. When you had the serious conversation in Texas, Adam had mentioned all these thoughts, emotions. But hearing him say it so directly, with confidence, clearly meaning it…it put a whole fresh off-axis spin on your life. You had believed you had come to terms with what had been brought up before, having talked it all out with your friends. But apparently it was one thing to have it in your head; it was another to hear it so bluntly from him.

"And I'm trying my fucking hardest to not act on it, not push you towards anything. I don't want to put any more worries, problems, into your life for you to figure out. Not when we're finally somewhere good together. I don't want to risk that."

"…why do you think you'd be a problem?"

"Brenna, come the fuck on," he huffed. "Are you saying you've _enjoyed_ the absolute hell we've put each other through the last few months?"

"Well, no, of course not…but it's not like I didn't bring it on myself?" You didn't blame Adam exclusively for anything in the last few months; you had played your role in it too. "I'm the one who confronted you the first time after months of silence. We **both** had a part in all that. Good and bad.

"But the last months, that's in the past. That has nothing to do with _these_ feelings, right here, right now. And I mean, sure, yea, of course I have no fucking clue what this is really, what to do here, with us. It could just be another shit-storm, or it could go really well. Like you said, we're finally somewhere good. So what's to say we won't stay that way? But…shouldn't I get to make that choice for myself?"

"So what? You want to try this with me? With us?"

"I don't know, yes? Maybe? I just…I know I want you to stop thinking you get to make that decision for me," you concluded. "You're constantly telling me what I want, or what I need. Why can't you ever just ask me?"

"Because I don't think you know," Adam replied.

"So? Maybe I don't. Actually, OK, fine, **I don't know**. I don't know what this is between us. I don't know how to be with you because all I've ever been with is Evan, and fuck, how you even _date_ someone anymore? And I don't know why every time I see you something _has_ to fucking happen, good or bad. I don't know why I just had to kiss you right now, except I know I wanted to. But what I do know is I want to be able to make my own choice. I need you to stop making a decision for me, and just tell me what **you** want from this."

"I've told you."

"And you always follow it up with a 'but', a reason why you can't," you pointed out. "So, do you actually?"

"You must not know me at all if you think I'm one to not mean what I say," Adam declared.

"Well, considering everything I thought I knew about you isn't exactly adding up in this situation, forgive me," you retorted. You hated that this was turning in to an argument. That had not been your goal at all when you saw him.

"What the hell does **that** mean?"

"It means, you've given me space. You've pushed whatever it is you want away in some attempt at not upsetting me. You text me every day, sometimes for literally the dumbest reasons. You just, treat me differently than everyone I've ever seen you with. So whenever I think I know what's going to happen, it doesn't usually go that way."

"Well, I'm sorry I genuinely care about you," Adam voiced, sounding almost wounded that you hadn't realized that, just known it, before now. You observed him, as he looked away from you. Any of the frustration and anger in the room melted away for you.

"Adam…"

You weren't sure what to say first at this point.

But it was definitely do or do not time.

"You said earlier you don't want to put any more stress on me…but after Texas, after what you said to me…how could it not do just that? If you think I've just been able to not think about that conversation, worry about it, over-analyze it…then you just don't know me, or women, at all." His eyes finally came to yours again, and you did everything in your power to not look as nervous and unsure as you felt.

"And I thought I knew what it all meant, and I thought I had been OK, but now I don't think I am. Because…I'm _scared_ , Adam. This is all so confusing for me, and so **different**." You swear you saw a sparkle of recognition in his eyes at your word use. "But…I can't just ignore it either, or pretend it's not real. Because it is. Because you care about me, and I don't know what I feel towards you, but I know it's not what it once was. It's more than that.

"Maybe we will just go back to arguing all the time, I don't know. We've managed finally to be friends again, but it's obvious neither of us wants it to stop there. Even if we have no idea how to go about this."

There was silence between the two of you after that, each processing your words and everything that had happened overall. You didn't know what to do anymore, what to say. You hadn't meant to have this conversation with him when you ran in to him. But something in seeing him, being close to him, had made you feel like you just _had_ to. There was clearly something between the two of you, that much you couldn't deny anymore. What it was though, remained to be explained.

"We'll figure it out." His declaration made your attention go fully back on him. As you comprehended what he said, you felt your heart flutter slightly.

"I might be really shit at this," you warned him.

"You've already decked me. And cussed me out, a couple times," Adam highlighted. "Does it get much worse than that?"

"Yes, it does," you answered, seriously.

"Well, then I'll stay alert," he smiled. You recognized how much you liked his smile. It started on the left side of his mouth, before it grew across his entire face. It was so strong, genuine.

"Can we just…not make a big deal of this?" Adam tilted his head slightly. "With everyone else. Hell, even with us. I just…." You had no idea how to rationalize to him that you didn't want this whatever-you-were being discussed by your friends, seen by your coworkers, made in to a notable event.

"It's just you and me, no one else," he assured you. "Nothing is going to change _that_ much. But, when I want to kiss you, I'm going to."

"OK." You tried to suppress the grin that wanted to break out on your face. You had to admit how much you liked kissing him, which was obvious at this point. But, that was only a part of what went in to… _this_. Were you honestly ready to take this next step, however small or large, with Adam? What if you really were shit at dating? What if you hurt him? What if you weren't actually ready to let someone in your life again in such a manner?

"C'mere," he requested, putting out a hand for you to take, which you did. He promptly pulled you towards him, back in to his space. You were thankful for your boots, as it made you almost level with him. "I mean it Bren, we'll figure this out, together, OK?"

"Yea." You wished you were as confident now as you had been ten minutes ago when you all but jumped him. "It's just…a lot."

"I know," he agreed, his hand squeezing yours. "But, as long as we're honest with each other, it'll work. So, we can't go back to how we were before, keeping shit from each other and the arguing."

"But I like yelling at you," you teased with a small whine to your voice.

"I kinda figured," he stated. "And I mean, I'm sure I'll give you reasons to still yell at some point. It just…can't be our standard way of communicating."

"Fine," you sighed jokingly. Adam just gazed down at you, a gentle smile coming to his face as he did so. "What?"

"I like you happy," he said, causing your cheeks to warm. You didn't know how to reply to that. "Come on, let's go actually eat now."

"We probably should do that," you concurred.

Neither of you made a move to let go of the other, or leave the locker room.

Instead, Adam leaned his head down, kissing you again, softly. When he broke the short kiss this time, it was only to then lay another kiss on your forehead. There was no urgency like before, but the kisses resonated in you all the same. Before had been about want, and this felt like it was about something more.

"Let's go," he decided, removing his lips, letting go of your hand. You moved back as he turned to open the door, allowing you to walk out before him.

This night had certainly taken a turn. You were excited, nervous, happy, scared. You really hoped you hadn't just made a mistake. You didn't think you did, but you also knew there were still a lot of variables at play. You wanted things to be fine, you truly did. Maybe Adam was what you needed in your life. Or maybe he would realize this was all just emotion with no substance. Nothing was sure right now, that much you knew. But at least you were trying. And you had someone who appeared willing to try with you.

* * *

 _What if I can't be all that you need me to be?_

 _We've got a good thing going, we have some promises to keep._

 _But my addiction it can be such a detriment._

 _Please believe in this my dear, I am more than penitent._

 _What if everything's just the way that it will be?_

 _Could it be that I am meant to cause you all this grief?_

 _My war ships are lying off the coast of your delicate heart,_

 _And my aim is steady and true as it's been right from the start._

 _There's a degree of difficulty in dealing with me._

 _From my haunted past comes a daunting task of living through memories._

 _If we could just hang a mirror on the bedroom wall, stare into the past and forget it all._

 _So when we leave it'll be a quick midnight escape._

 _We'll disconnect ourselves from all of yesterday._

 _I'll dig for water and fashion our very own wishing well,_

 _Then we'll throw our coins down hoping to rid us of this little hell._

 _There's a degree of difficulty in dealing with me._

 _From my haunted past comes a daunting task of living through memories._

 _If we could just hang a mirror on the bedroom wall, stare into the past and forget it all._

 _Will we get out of this little hell?_

 _Will we get out of this little hell?_

 _Will we get out of this little hell?_

 _Will we get out of this little hell?_

* * *

All reviews/comments welcome. Thanks for the support before too!


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you for the reviews! Always feel free to drop me a line and let me know what you think/how the story is going! :)

* * *

 _And I'm begging you,_

 _Bring me back to life._

 _I just can't stand leaving you alone tonight._

 _It's too late to go,_

 _Already taken me forever just to try to know._

 _One for the money, two for the show,_

 _Three to get ready, and four to go._

 _For the life of me,_

 _I don't know why it took me so long to see…._

* * *

All you could concentrate on at the moment was, _what do I normally do with my hands?_

You were sitting at a long table in a semi-causal sports' bar type restaurant in Las Vegas, between Adam and Jay Lethal. Across from you sat Colt, flanked by Adam Page and Jay Briscoe. Your group was completed by the Bucks, the other Briscoe, Christopher Daniels, and Frankie Kazarian.

To say you were entirely aware of every part of Adam next to you was a complete understatement. He had, _somehow_ , managed to put his arm over the back of your chair, totally nonchalantly, while engrossed in conversation with Page. No one had even so much as flinched at his movement.

But you had.

With the anniversary PPV taping the next night, you all had decided to go out for dinner and drinks in the City of Sin. What you hadn't anticipated was how downright **hard** it was going to be to not react to Adam's presence throughout the meal.

It had only been a few days since you'd last seen him in New York City; since you'd made the choice to progress your relationship, whatever it was, while still keeping it entirely a secret from others.

There had been multiple phone calls, and text messages, between the two of you. Late night FaceTime. Flirting. Pointless conversations. Checking in with each other. Advice and opinions. It seemed that after you both talked it out and bared your feelings that you had for each other, however much or little they were, it was just easier to interact. The talks never got too, too deep, but both of you were taking the positive communication portion of the arrangement seriously.

Nothing had prepared you though for being so near him, in front of friends, practically family, and remaining clandestine. While he could look so calm and normal, it took everything in you to remember to not look like a robot. You were beginning to think you may have made a mistake in trying to hide this. You didn't feel comfortable, just constantly on edge. But you also felt you weren't ready to explain, or defend, it to everyone as well. It was a no-win situation, really.

It also didn't help that in the back of your mind you kept thinking about how you were going to basically lie more to everyone about why you were staying in Vegas for two more days after the shows were done.

Adam had asked you in one of your conversations to push your flight back, and he would do the same for his. He wanted some time alone with you, after all the chaos of Ring of Honor and your peers had gone. Your first couple's vacation? A Las Vegas tryst? You had no idea what he was expecting out of it. But you had agreed all the same. It did sound nice, getting to spend non-work time with him, just the two of you, hanging out and having fun. Exploring. Making memories. Learning more about the other. You'd manage to extend your stay at the hotel for the days, but you weren't sure if he had done the same for his room. Was he planning on sharing? Just how fast was all of this going to be moving?

"Brenna!"

Your head whipped up from where you had been zoned-out staring at your water glass on the table, meeting Colt's eyes and raised eyebrows. Jay was also looking at you curiously.

"Welcome back to the room," Colt remarked sarcastically, making you sneer at him. "What's got you all spacey?"

"Nothing," you mumbled, picking up your beer glass, and taking a healthy drink from it. From the corner of your eye you saw Adam glance at you. You didn't look back.

"Is it because of tomm–"

"I'm fine," you stopped Jay's sentence, giving him the most pointed look you could. "Tired, but fine."

You weren't sure if he was going to make reference to your PPV match, or the fact that it was also Evan's birthday tomorrow. In case is was the latter, you felt it was better to just cut him off.

"I'm surprised you came tonight," Colt stated. "Figured you'd just come tomorrow morning."

"Eh," you shrugged. "Someone has to keep an eye on you idiots."

"…fair," he granted, causing you to giggle. Mark moved in front of Jay to ask Colt a question about some movie quote, and that took his attention from you.

Chewing on your lip, you returned to sitting mutely. You wanted to talk to Adam, but you had no idea how to do that honestly anymore, without it coming off as _more_ than friendly. Which, to be fair, it basically was. But you didn't want that known. You really needed to figure out how to navigate this relationship, and fast. Because he was your friend, too. Just friends with...benefits? Shit, was that what you were?

How did you get yourself in this position? Why couldn't you just be a normal person, and date someone, and not complicate it with your past and present worries?

"So, you and Kelly tomorrow, huh?" Lethal's voice broke through your thoughts. You turned to face him, smiling slightly.

"Yea, should be fun," you said, hopefully.

"Is Candice still coming for Saturday's show?"

"That's the plan."

"You two are something _else_ together," Lethal mused, and you dramatically gasped, placing your hand to your heart.

"That better be a compliment," you demanded, grinning afterwards in jest.

"Definitely," he assured you, also smiling.

"Hey Bren," Adam's voice interrupted, causing you to turn to face him. "You want another?" He jerked his head to indicate your beer.

"Oh, uh, sure," you answered, smiling timidly. He ordered two more of the beers you both had from the waiter, who you hadn't even realized was nearby, before bringing his attention back to you.

"You alright?" He'd leaned over a bit, spoke softly, keeping others from hearing.

"Yep," you smiled shortly.

"Bullshit," he muttered.

"We'll talk later," you offered, meeting his gaze only to quickly divert yours again, finishing your current beer. You were honestly afraid if you looked at him too long you'd kiss him. And that would just send this entire dinner in to mayhem.

"…OK," he agreed, albeit sounding reluctant. You stopped breathing for a second when you felt him affectionately squeeze the back of your neck as he moved away from you. Just as quickly as it happened, his arm was casually back around your chair.

The rest of after dinner drinks went smoothly, for everyone else mostly. You continued to be awkward and reserved. You tried to be in conversation with your friends, and some moments felt normal, but overall you knew your behavior had raised some red flags among your boys. You just kept playing it off as tired, which wasn't an entire lie. Your brain _was_ tired from overthinking everything.

After paying and gathering your items, your group slowly made their way out of the building. Colt slung his arm around your shoulders once you'd exited, tucking you in to his side. You slid your arm around his waist, laying your head against him. Colt Cabana had a very calming presence, and you loved that about him. He walked you away, out in to the parking lot, towards the cars.

"So what's up with you and Cole?" he asked quietly, though no one else from your group was remotely close.

You were pretty sure your heart skipped at least five beats, as your widened eyes flew to meet his. Colt just looked down at you, trying to not smirk too widely at your reaction.

"Wha…"

"Don't even bother trying to tell me I'm wrong," he chuckled. "Your face right now tells me I'm right. Plus, the way he looks at you…you don't look at _just a friend_ like that."

"…oh." Part of you felt proud that it hadn't been your actions tonight that had given it away. The other part of you was curious as to exactly how Adam looked at you that made it so obvious for Colt to know more was going on between the two of you.

"I don't know the guy all that well, so I can't say much. If he makes you happy, that's all I want. But just…stay true to yourself, OK?"

"What does that mean?"

"It means we all know you're getting over a lot, and I'm all for you moving on, but…don't rush yourself either."

"Yea." You understood what Colt was saying. It was the same thing you worried about yourself still; moving too fast in to something that wasn't even solidified yet. But, that was the risk you were taking. It was the risk anyone took really in starting a relationship.

You both rested against the door of the rental SUV, still with your arms around one another, watching as your friends made their way over. Your eyes caught Adam's, and he didn't seem all that happy as he approached the two of you.

"Ready?" he asked, looking only at you. You felt Colt snicker beside you for some reason, before he removed his arm from you, which in turn made you drop yours.

"Yep!" As soon as you'd stood up from the door, Adam opened it, allowing you to climb in, placing yourself in the furthest back row of seats against the window. He immediately came in behind you, sitting on the same seat, with just enough space between the two of you. Colt, Lethal, Page, and the Bucks completed the car; Matt driving.

"What's up?" Adam inquired in a hushed voice, setting his hand on your upper leg. You were suddenly very aware of what your blood sounded like going through your veins.

"Nothing," you replied, avoiding his stare.

"Brenna," he chastised, lowly. "You're completely out of it, you're not talking…."

"I told you, **later** ," you repeated tersely. You could sense Adam still looking at you, unhappy with your response. Biting at your lip, you placed your hand over his, lacing your fingers together. That seemed to relax him.

The car ride was silent for you, but Adam was engaged in joking with the guys. You enjoyed it though, unlike at dinner when it felt weird. It was nice to just observe your friends. And it made you think that maybe, when everyone else did know about whatever was going on between you and Adam, that things wouldn't change that much. Maybe it would be a smooth transition, a welcome change, within your group.

Soon enough you had gotten back to the hotel, and everyone filed out of their respective cars. As you came to the door to get out, Adam gave you his hand, and helped you down. He let go of you as soon as you were steady on the ground. While walking in, the Briscoes decided to hit the hotel bar, with a couple of the others agreeing to tag along.

"I'm just gonna go to bed," you chose, as you all stopped in the lobby. The Bucks said the same, and the three of you headed off to the elevators. While waiting for it to arrive, and chatting with Nick about his daughter, a hand ghosted across your lower back.

"You done for the night too?" Matt asked, as you all looked towards the new presence.

"Yea," Adam answered, standing next you. "Just not feeling it tonight."

The elevator ride was pretty quiet from all fronts. The Bucks, who you knew traveled the most out of all of you and had family lives, were understandably exhausted. You didn't know what Adam's reasoning was, but you had a notion it had to do with you. All three of them got off two floors below you, sending generic goodbyes your way. Soon enough, you were on your own floor, and in your room.

You'd barely set your bag down and gotten your shoes off when your phone went off in your purse. Extracting it, you weren't even surprised to see Adam's name.

 _What room are you?_

You sharply took in a breath rereading the words on your phone screen. This was getting dangerously in to mistress-like territory. Private plans, hiding from friends, late night rendezvous in hotels. What the hell kind of life had you started?

 _509_.

Looking around your room, you made sure it wasn't in the worst condition. You weren't one to unpack fully when traveling, preferring to just go through your suitcase as needed, so not too many of your items were out in sight as it was.

Quickly, you dug through your suitcase, extracting dark blue cotton shorts and a Pantera t-shirt, which read 'Forever Stronger Than All' across it in a lighter blue font. You changed right where you were standing, shoving your used shirt in to the front pocket of your suitcase, and your pants into the main portion.

Going in to the bathroom, you looked yourself over. Your makeup was still decent enough, as was your hair, but you brushed through it all the same. You adjusted your new outfit, making sure it laid in a way that didn't make you look like a total slob. You were vaguely conscious that your behavior was like that of some high school girl having her crush over for the first time.

There was a number of minutes before a knock came on your door. When you opened it, you realized why; Adam had taken time to change clothes as well. He was in black Splx sweatpants now, and a grey zip up hoodie with a black t-shirt barely visibly beneath the closed sweatshirt. And his glasses. God, he looked good dressed down and relaxed. Without saying a word, he stepped in to the room, and took the door from your hand to shut it behind himself.

His hands came to the sides of your face as soon as the door clicked, and he pulled you right in to a deep kiss. You were pretty sure you gasped 'oh' against his lips, but regained your senses quickly, and reciprocated the action. You put your hands on his body, near his ribs, as you enjoyed the moment. As he kissed you, you felt every ounce of concern and apprehension melt away from your body. With the gentle pressure of his hands on your cheeks, and his mouth against yours, your world seemed _right_.

"Hey," he finally spoke as let up on the kiss, but kept hold of you.

"Hey," you breathed, leaning in to kiss him again. You felt him smile in to it, before he took control. It was another couple minutes before you both finally broke apart from each other, your lungs needing to take in genuine amounts of air. His kisses were really nice you decided. You couldn't help that he'd barely made it in to the room and you were going at it like teenagers.

"Wanted to do that all night," he admitted, gazing down at you, making your cheeks tint.

"I'm not mad about it," you informed him, causing his smile to widen, his eyes crinkling.

You tugged him further in to the room with you, and then let go of him, as you both found your way to the bed farthest in the room. Adam laid himself down on one side on his back, while you sat cross-legged beside him, facing inward.

"When does Candice get here?" he inquired, the other bed noticeably untouched.

"Afternoon tomorrow?" you guessed. "I don't think she's gonna come over for the show. So I'll probably just see her tomorrow night when we get back here."

"Guess you'll just have to come down and see me then tomorrow night," he planned.

"Or maybe I want time with my friend…?"

"Or, that," Adam accepted. "I'll get you to myself in a few days anyways."

His words made what felt like the bottom of your stomach drop off. There was promise, and plans, in his statement. Your brain again went to what was going to happen when it was just the two of you in Vegas, with no commitments, no chaperones in the forms of your friends.

"So what was with you at dinner?"

"Huh?"

"You were completely out of it for most of it," he highlighted. "Still kind of are."

"Just…in my head, I guess," you mumbled, looking away from him.

"No, really?" You rolled your eyes at his sarcastic tone, before turning to give him a _look_. He just beamed widely, clearly not bothered by your glare, and almost proud of his retort. "Come on, what's up?" He laid his hand on your calf, squeezing slightly, attempting to coax an answer from you.

"It's just…a lot," you reiterated the same sentiment you had almost a week ago. "Keeping this from everyone. I didn't think it would be, but it really is."

"Then let's not," he responded easily.

"Also not a stellar option," you sighed.

"I think you're making this far more difficult than it needs to be," Adam decided, running his thumb along your leg.

"I just…I know everyone will have some reaction to this. And I…don't want to deal with it. Not now."

"Why?"

"Because." He just stared at you, and you knew you'd have to say more. "I'm a mess, Adam. A. Mess. Every single thing I do, I'm anxious over, doubting myself, fighting myself. This is all so new, and weird, and strange. And I'm not saying I don't want to do this with you, **I do**. I'm realizing how happy you make me. And I know we'll figure us out. But until we do…I can't handle everyone else prying and questioning and criticizing."

"But what if they don't?" You looked at him curiously. "What it sounds like is you automatically think everyone is going to hate you and I being together. But what if they don't? I think you're working yourself up for no reason. You've gotta give us, and the people around us, more credit."

"Colt knows," you admitted.

"How?"

"Apparently you're not very subtle," you teased. "He said it was obvious with the way you look at me."

"Well, I can't help that," Adam shrugged, a Cheshire smile coming to his face. "You're kind of beautiful."

"Oh, fuck off," you laughed, shoving his hand from your leg. He laughed as well, and quickly reached up, grabbing your wrist, tugging on it.

"C'mere," he demanded, smiling in earnest as he pulled again on your arm. You carefully moved yourself so you ended up lying almost diagonally across the bed, only your chest on his, face to face with him. You set your hands on either side of his head on the bed, holding yourself up enough to be able to look down at him. His hands went to you, gliding down from your ribs to your hips, to your lower back, where he left them.

"You tell me what you wanna do," he stated. "Keep everyone out of this, not, whatever it is you want. I'm fine either way if it means I get to be with you. I just don't like you stressing out more."

"I _live_ in stress now."

"Well, let's work to change that, yea?" he offered, his blue eyes gentle, and you found yourself entirely taken by him in that moment. He'd always been nice towards you over the years, supportive, caring…but actually _being_ with him, it was so amplified. How had other women given up on this man? Why didn't everyone know this side of him?

"You're far too good to me," you expressed, leaning down to brush your nose against his softly. "Far, too, good."

"I'm not good enough," he countered.

"Dude…"

"Pretend I didn't say that," Adam quickly interjected.

"…but I won't," you insisted, tilting back from him again so you were able to see his entire face. "What's up?" He regarded you silently for a moment, his eyes searching yours. Insecure Adam was a not a thing you were used to observing, and you weren't sure what to do with it.

"I just...I've done some mean things to you, right? … I can't just forgive myself for that," he explained.

Something told you he wasn't being fully honest.

"Well, you should," you said, choosing to go along with what he was willing to speak to you. "I wasn't perfect either. So…work on it?"

"Yea," he agreed.

And then he promptly kissed you once more. You had a suspicion it was a tactic to drop the conversation, and while you wanted to be mad about that, it was such a _lovely_ tactic.

This kiss was different from earlier however. It was intense, bruising, demanding. His hands gripped into your back, his fingers digging into you, as his tongue quickly found yours. You lowered yourself to your forearms above him, allowing your upper body to meld with his.

Nothing mattered to you, except the feeling of his mouth on yours, his chest pressed to yours. He was so solid, so **present**. It made your body react with every nerve ending you had. And when his one hand slid down your body further, you pressed yourself closer to him. He seemed almost hesitant in his motions, and you noticed.

"Did you just touch the butt?" you murmured into his kiss, his hand definitely still resting where you indicated.

"Did you just quote Finding Nemo at me?"

"Did you just _know_ I quoted Finding Nemo?" You shot back, the kiss forgotten, as you moved your head back and away from him, raising your eyebrows.

"I don't live under a rock," Adam defended himself. "Plus, I have little kids in my life."

"Sure," you elongated the word disbelievingly. "I bet you go home and watch it by yourself before bed every night."

"Yea, you caught me, I do," he replied in a flat tone. You grinned, moving down to kiss him again a few short times.

"Candice would be so proud," you declared, causing him to chuckle. "To be fair, I do have a nice ass."

"No argument here."

You snickered, but after a few seconds, a yawn came out of you. You put your forehead down on his shoulder, tucking yourself into him, another yawn following.

"Sorry."

"You need to go to bed," Adam stated, moving his hand from your butt up your spine lightly.

"Stay," you requested, your face still hidden against his body, as his hand finally came to rest on the back of your head.

"…yea?" You couldn't blame him for being questioning and hesitant of your directive. Up until this point, you hadn't exactly been the most forward and confident in your arrangement.

"Yea," you echoed, before lightly placing your lips on the side of his neck. "You can keep me warm."

"It's not even cold?"

"Shhhh," you shushed him. "Unless you don't _want_ to stay…"

"Oh, I'm staying," Adam confirmed, which made you smile to yourself. "But you're gonna have to move. Because no part of this feels good for sleeping. Well, that's not true. _Some_ part does but…"

"Just, stop talking," you instructed. "And don't think I won't kick you out of my bed if you get inappropriate."

"Me? Inappropriate? How dare you even think I would be that way!"

"Seriously?" You got entirely off of Adam, sitting on your knees beside his upper body, staring wide-eyed down at him. "You want me to make a list or…?"

"It's only inappropriate if you don't want it," he practically leered, though it was far more attractive than creepy, and your heart fluttered. _Oh dear god, he is too much…and too close to probably right_.

Finding it difficult to reply, you instead reached up and began to yank down on the covers. Adam took your cue, and slid off the bed to stand beside it, pulling down the sheets as well, before slipping out of his hoodie. Soon enough you found yourself lying beside him, the comforter shoved down, and only the sheet covering your bodies. Adam all but dragged you to him, and you positioned yourself on your side, pressed against him, one leg hooked over his, and an arm strewn across his abdomen.

It had been so long since you'd laid in bed with someone, cuddling, relaxing, just being. It felt strange to be doing it, but also very welcomed. You hadn't really realized how much you missed this aspect of being with someone until this moment; how much touch mattered to you.

"I meant it, ya know?" His voice broke the silence of the room.

"Meant what?"

"I don't like you being so stressed," he restated. "I can feel it even now; you're so tense."

"…give me time," you advised. "I just…need to feel settled, secure, again. Not just with you, but with everything."

"You're safe with me."

You really wanted to believe him, as you felt your heart swell. It wasn't like you had any recent evidence to the contrary. But you knew, you also couldn't control these types of things. History sometimes repeated itself, and you could screw this up, and end up enemies once more.

Only time would tell.

That was basically your life motto at this point.

* * *

 _Spinning your umbrella over your head,_

 _You should be in bed but you're here instead._

 _Walking with me towards a midnight swim._

 _I can give you, baby, what you can't get from him._

 _Songbird's singing in an old dead tree._

 _The way you drive honey scares the hell out of me._

 _A hundred miles an hour on a brand new road,_

 _Look at me again, you'll make my heart explode._

 _Hey, hey, little fighter girl,_

 _It's you and me up against this whole wide world._

 _Sleeping together in the lion's den._

 _Got your earrings in my pocket till I see you again._

 _Clouds roll by, laying up on the hill,_

 _Everything is still, do you think we will?_

 _If we do, there'll be no turning back._

 _If we don't, well, there is no chance of that._

 _Hey, hey, little fighter girl,_

 _It's you and me up against this whole wide world._

 _Sleeping together in the lion's den._

 _Got your earrings in my pocket till I see you again._

 _Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah_

 _Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah_

 _Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah_

 _Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah_

 _Come on, kiss me_

 _Keep on kissin' me_

 _Come on, kiss me_

 _Keep on kissin' me_

 _Cars in the distance, a bicycle bell,_

 _Dogs are barking as the kingdom fell._

 _In its place stood a golden town,_

 _Where people walk without touching the ground._

 _Hey, hey, little fighter girl,_

 _It's you and me now against this whole wide world._

 _Sleeping together in the lion's den._

 _Baby, I can't sleep at all until I see you again._

 _Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah_

 _Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah_

 _Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah_

 _Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah_

 _Come on, kiss me_

 _Keep on kissin' me_

 _Come on, kiss me_

 _Keep on kissin' me, yeah_

 _Oh, oh, oh, oh_


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you for any reviews. Please, please feel free to drop a line and let me know how you're feeling about the story! :)

* * *

Waking up beside Adam had been…a complete shock, to be honest. You had woken up to your alarm and the feel of _something_ in bed with you, which in your haze you had momentarily forgot just who it was. So you'd pretty much panicked. Of course once you'd truly got your wits about you, you calmed and just grinned as you observed him next to you. It was the most peaceful you'd ever seen him look; his hair a mess around himself, holding a pillow under his head.

Adorable had never been a word you thought you'd use towards Adam Cole, but it was the only one that felt right in the moment.

You'd managed to slide out of the bed and use the bathroom without being too loud, but when you came back in the room, you found him waking up. He said nothing; eyes still shut, and just lifted up the covers on his side. Smiling bashfully to yourself, you crawled into the offered space, feeling the blankets fall back down on you. Adam gathered you in his arms immediately, you folding your own between your bodies, the both of you on your sides. He rested his head above yours, securing you to him with a leg. He was like a damn octopus. The thought made you giggle softly.

"What?" Adam grumbled, voice rough and low, full of sleep.

"Nothing," you replied, grinning to yourself, your face hidden in his chest. "Ya know, we need to get up."

"No," he opposed, his arms tightening around you.

"Adam…"

"Shhhhh."

"…that doesn't change the fact we have to get out of bed, though."

"Woman, why," he groused. "Why can't you just be quiet and lay here with me?"

"If we didn't have things to do, I'd be all in for it," you explained. "But see, we do have things to do. I set an alarm for a reason."

"Fuck your alarm."

"Fuck you," you retorted playfully.

"Want to?"

You blushed, biting at your lip. Morning Adam was definitely _something else_.

"Get UP," you demanded, pushing at his chest, in an attempt to break away from him. Unfortunately, and not surprisingly, he was stronger, so his arms remained around you. But that didn't stop you, as you employed your legs, trying to move him off of you in any way you could. Adam chuckled at your attempts, basically mocking you, as he just held on.

Taking in a deep breath, you drove your flat palms into his chest, bringing your knees up to push on his thighs. It was enough to break his arms just slightly, allowing you to use your momentum to get him on his back entirely. You found yourself straddling his hips, your hands pressing down on his shoulders when all was said and done.

"Well, good morning," Adam practically purred while looking up at you, a soft smile coming to his face. His eyes seemed brighter in the morning, a sparkling blue.

"Wassup," you grinned, causing him to laugh. He brought his hands up, laying them on your thighs.

"Why are we awake?"

"Because, that whole wrestling show thing."

"I'd rather stay just like _this_ ," he decided, grabbing at your upper legs, causing your cheeks to warm.

"Too bad, so sad."

"Can I at least get a good morning kiss?" Adam pouted, which made you roll your eyes.

"You're a big ass baby in the morning, do you know that?"

"Take care of me then," he tempted you. _Jesus. Fucking. Hell_.

Instead of saying anything, you gave him what he wanted. Leaning down, you pressed your lips to his, causing your hips to shift directly in to his. Adam slid his hands up your legs to your sides, where he gripped firmly for the moment. As your hands went into his hair, your tongues tangled together. He moved his hands down your back, squeezing your ass, pressing your body closer to his. You nipped at his lip in response, before resuming the deep kiss.

It was when you felt a hardness beneath you that the somatic fogginess dissipated from your brain.

You scrambled off of him, ungracefully at that.

"Get up," you repeated, trying to move past what had just been happening. Adam appeared thoroughly amused at your behavior, but didn't comment. Thankfully.

You turned and went to go through your suitcase to get out clothes to change in to after your shower. It was an avoidance technique, entirely, but you didn't care. You needed to get control of yourself, right now. You could hear Adam actually following directions and getting out of the bed.

"I'll see you at the arena," he said as he came up behind you, setting his hands on your hips gently. When he kissed your cheek, you turned into him ever so slightly, his beard scratching at your skin.

"OK," you agreed quietly. After a moment of just being close, Adam eventually released you and left your room. You stared downward as the door shut, feeling flushed, excited, and happily nervous. You didn't know when things had progressed to physical and intense between the two of you, but despite your anxieties, you found you weren't against it. If this was what mornings were like with him, you genuinely wanted more.

* * *

True to his word, Adam met up with you later that night at the arena. You'd arrived an hour or so ago with the Briscoes, and had already changed in to your ring gear, as you were told you had promo pictures to take. Adam had texted you, and the two of you had agreed to meet up in a back hallway that wasn't being used for the night.

Which is how you found yourself pressed against a wall, his hands twisted in your wavy hair, yours clutching his arms tightly, mouths moving together. The large hoodie you were wearing over your gear was unzipped, his dress shirt soft against your bare stomach.

His mouth traveled across your cheek, to your jaw, down to your neck, causing you to gasp. You bit back the ensuing groan when he let his teeth scrap across your skin faintly. He had always been good with his mouth talking, but you'd never guessed how good he was with it in other ways too. Adam slipped his hands over your body, down your sides beneath your jacket, before resting them on your lower back.

"Do not leave a mark," you ordered breathlessly, your hands now grasping his shoulders, holding him close to you.

"WHAT THE **FUCK**! _BRENNA?!_ "

You didn't think you'd ever moved as quickly as you did at the loud voice. You practically threw Adam off of you, who looked surprised, but much less alarmed compared to you.

Mark Briscoe, on the other hand, looked ready to murder.

"…what are you doing back here?" It was the first thing you could think to ask.

"Trying to find you! You have shit to do!" Mark answered, stepping closer, placing himself perpendicular to the two of you, blocking Adam's direct access to you.

"OK, I'm coming," you replied, hoping that Mark would take the hint to walk away.

He didn't.

"What the fuck is this?" he questioned again, his tone demanding an explanation.

"None of your business," Adam spoke up.

"The fuck it ain't," Mark snapped, turning himself so he stood in front of you, facing towards Adam. You could see Adam over Mark's shoulder, and he was not thrilled with the building confrontation.

"Mark, come on, let's go," you said, laying your hand on his back.

"Not until I get a fucking answer," he declared, staring Adam down.

"What do you wanna hear, Briscoe? Huh?" Adam challenged.

"I wanna know who the fuck you think you are, and what the fuck you think you're doing with her," Mark stepped closer to the other man. Not one to back down, Adam straightened himself to his full height, and cocked an eyebrow.

"I think I was kissing her. And I think, actually, no I _know_ she was OK with that." You watched as a patronizing smirk graced his face after he spoke, which caused Mark to stiffen even further.

"You don't even give a fuck about her!" Mark accused.

"Don't tell me how I feel about her. Because you don't know **shit**!" Adam snarled.

"I know more about her than you ever fucking will, pretty boy." They were entirely squared up to each other at this point. You felt your panic rising.

"MARK! STOP!" You grabbed fearfully at his arm, yanking with every bit of strength you had. After a particularly harsh tug, which he probably felt in his shoulder joint, he finally turned his eyes away from Adam, and over his shoulder on to you.

"Lemme go," he growled, voice dangerously low, anger readable on every part of his face. You hesitated. If you did let him go, was he going to try to kill Adam?

"Just…walk away, with me, please," you begged, gripping as tight as you could onto him.

"Let me the **fuck** go, Brenna!"

"DON'T talk to her like that!" Adam exclaimed, which made Mark's glare go right back to him.

"I will fuck you up, Cole," he threatened.

"MARK!" It probably wasn't your smartest decision, but desperate times, desperate measures. You moved from behind him, to in front of him, somehow squeezing yourself in between the two quarreling men. Putting your hands on Mark's chest, you shoved him with everything you had in you. It barely made him go back an inch. But as you pressed more, he relented in his stance, allowing you to move him at least a foot back.

"Stay the fuck away from her," Mark warned Adam callously over your head. He barely spared you a glance, as he turned and stalked out of the area. You watched him leave, unsure what to do now. You really felt like you needed to go after him, defend yourself, try to patch things up, attempt to keep an actual fight from breaking out. But Adam….

"I'm so sorry," you whimpered, regarding him. He seemed angry still, but less on the attack than before. With a sigh, his gaze softened on you.

"Go," was all he said. You didn't miss how unenthused he sounded.

Quickly leaving, it didn't take you long to catch up to Mark in another hallway. He was still walking like he was on a mission, which you assumed was to get as far away from you and Adam as possible.

"Mark, stop," you pleaded, hastening your pace to truly get to him. As soon as you laid your hand on his arm, he shook it roughly, knocking you off of him.

"Don't," he demanded. "What the fuck are you thinking? Jesus, Brenna. He's a fucking snake with women! Are you stupid?"

"No," you stated, hurt from his words. "Can you please, just, STOP?"

"Nah, I'm gonna find Jay."

"MARK!"

"Listen to me," he suddenly halted, whirling around to face you. You stumbled in your attempt at slowing down and barely managed to not smash in to him. "You're making a fucking mistake. And I know we ain't been the closest, but I know what you mean to my brother, and in a lot of ways to me. And the last fucking thing I'm gonna do is stand by and watch you fuck up your life like this."

"You have no right to…"

"Yea, I fucking do," he cut you off. Turning back around, Mark continued on his mission to find his brother.

All you could do was helplessly trail after him, hoping that maybe Jay would be the more level-headed of the two.

Who were you kidding.

You were in for a downright war.

Soon enough you were in front of one of the locker rooms, and Mark rammed his way in quickly, loudly stating his brother's name. All decorum forgotten, you followed right behind him. The Young Bucks looked stunned at the intrusion, and Dalton Castle looked completely bewildered and scared.

"Everyone! Get the fuck out!" Mark instructed, as Jay stood up from the chair he'd been sitting in. As Nick passed you, he gave you a questioning, and concerned, glance. With a sigh, you just shook your head slightly, and gestured your hand to assure him it was fine for him to leave.

"What is going on?" Jay questioned, the moment the door shut behind the last coworker.

"I just found Cole all over her," Mark basically tattled, causing you to cross your arms and glare at his back.

"What." Jay wasn't asking a question so much as he was unable to say anything else.

"Mark, fuck off," you demanded. "I'm allowed to live **my** life, without you two getting to dictate it!"

"And I'm allowed to tell you when you're making bad choices," he countered.

"FUCK YOU!"

"Mark, go," Jay commanded.

With a sneer towards you, Mark left the room, shutting the door hard in his wake. You heard some grumbling once he was out there, and you assumed it was him telling the others to take a hike as the locker room was currently occupied. And would be for who knew how long.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Look, I know this is kind of screwed up, but I just…Adam and I have been seeing each other, and I didn't want you all to know. Not yet. We're trying to figure ourselves out first," you explained, using a soft tone in hopes it would pacify Jay.

"For how long?" he scowled.

"We just decided last weekend to try it for real," you answered. "But we've been friends and talking and getting to know each other again for over a month."

Jay did not look accepting of your account. In fact, he seemed far more furious than his brother had. Shaking his head harshly, he began to pace the room, like a caged animal. His fists were tight at his sides, arms equally rigid.

"Fucking Adam Cole, Brenna? _REALLY_? Adam **fucking** Cole?!"

"Why are you so mad about this? You're friends with him too!"

"Nah, we're work friends. He ain't one of my boys. And he ain't someone I want with **you** ," Jay clarified, still striding about the room. "Jesus Christ, YOU'RE FUCKING ADAM COLE!"

"I'm not _fucking_ him," you corrected him. "We're…dating."

"Oh, I'm sure you are," he rolled his eyes, stopping his movements to stare at you straight on. "And then as soon as you do fuck him, he's gonna be gone."

Your heart hurt at the accusation. How dare he think so lowly of Adam, and so lowly of you. Your worst fears were coming true with Jay's reaction. But, while you'd anticipated backlash when the news got out, you hadn't anticipated _this level_ of disdain.

"…why do you think that?"

"Because, that's who he is, Brenna! He's not a relationship guy, not really. Shit, after he and whoever the girlfriend were broke up last year, he ran through a **line** of women! You weren't here to see it, but trust me, he wasn't lonely," Jay recalled, scornfully.

"That was then…that's not now…" you defended Adam, though even you had to admit your words were weak. You hadn't heard about that particular behavior before, and you hadn't expected to either.

"People don't change, not like that."

"So what?" you challenged, unquestionably irritated at Jay's claims now. "So, he broke up with Kelsey and then did whatever he wanted while he was single. Why does that matter? It's not like he cheated on her! It's not like he's gonna cheat on me!"

"You sure about that?"

" _Excuse me_?"

"Bren, I love you, but you don't know what you're getting yourself in. He doesn't have a reputation for no reason. I've been the one to hear him talk in a locker room, not you. And he's probably made you feel like he would never treat you badly again, that you're so special to him…but history don't lie. I watched him treat you like **shit** for months. And I'm not gonna believe he isn't capable of doing it again!"

"We both messed up then; we both treated each other badly."

"Nah, you didn't. You reacted, because he _acted_ first," he argued. "You were hurt and he didn't give a fuck about you, hurt you even more. And, he was Evan's fucking friend. What kind of guy goes after his **friend's widow**?! That's fucked up. I can't forgive that."

"Well, it's a damn good thing you aren't the one dating him then, huh?" you questioned mockingly.

"And if I have any say, you won't be either!"

"Too bad you don't," you finally snapped. "I'm a fucking ADULT. And I will see whoever I want. I don't need your _approval_ , you fucking caveman!"

Giving Jay no time to fight back, you turned and left the room, slamming the door behind yourself with all of the rage currently coursing through you. It probably rattled the wall. Everyone in the hallway looked over, but you paid them absolutely no mind. You briskly walked down the hallway, to the women's locker room. You knew it would be a safe place for now, with none of the guys coming in there unannounced. You just needed time; to calm down, to sort through the night, to figure out what you were going to do now. What the **hell** were you going to do now?

* * *

"Man, _what_ is going on?" Nick asked, glancing over Adam, taking stock of his teammate's condition. The Bucks had found him sat in a folding chair, off to the side of where merchandise was being set up to be sold in the front of the arena. He had his head in his hands, entirely overwhelmed, not even looking at them when they approached. "We just got kicked out of the locker room by Mark, and Brenna was there. Heard your name. It didn't look good."

"Briscoes are pissed at me."

"Yea, we figured that part," Matt replied. "What about? Everything seemed fine at dinner last night."

"Well, last night they didn't know that Brenna and I are seeing each other," Adam admitted, gazing up to his friends, bracing for their reactions.

Except, neither of them appeared even the slightest bit surprised by the news.

"So…we can finally openly talk about that then?" Matt inquired, the image of nonchalance.

"…what?"

"Dude, c'mon," Nick reacted to Adam's confusion, an almost sad chuckle following. "You keep an eye on her all the time. You're acting different overall. The two of you are constantly going off somewhere together, and I know you guys had some bad times, but neither of us believe you're still just going off to argue more."

"Shit…" Adam grumbled, putting his head back in his hands. "Who else knows?"

"I mean, it's not like we've discussed it with anyone," Matt explained. "And no one has said anything to us about it. So, if others have noticed, I couldn't tell you. But, I think it would be safe to say that Bren's core group has picked up on _something_."

"Well, I can definitely say those guys didn't know until Mark saw us earlier."

"If it helps, Jay's probably going to be the hardest to handle it," Nick offered. Adam just sighed, taking his head from his hands and sitting fully back in the chair, sliding down into a slouch. He reached up, running his hands down his face, before placing them behind his neck, linking his fingers together.

"What do I even do?"

"Let her handle them," Matt advised. "Based on what we saw and heard, you go near either of them right now, it's probably gonna end badly for everyone."

"…Jay wouldn't do anything to her…right?" Neither brother answered Adam's concerned query at first, just looking him over.

"You love her," Nick determined. Adam just raised his eyebrows, his mouth opening slightly, not at all sure how to respond to that. "Well, maybe not. But it's definitely going that way."

"Can I just get through this issue before you start piling on more?"

"Sure, man," Matt laughed at his friend's retort. "You go on and live in denial for a bit."

Adam almost hated his best friends at that moment.

* * *

Somehow, the PPV happened. You had a match with Kelly Klein; Adam had a match with Christopher Daniels. All of your other friends had other successful matches. The audience had fun and the wrestlers had survived. It had been a hell of a show, which everyone was rightfully proud of.

Outside of the ring, in contrast, tensions were very real and very high.

Adam and you had kept your distance from each other backstage throughout the night. You felt the Briscoes lurking around, though you never actually saw either of them. Luckily, they never encountered Adam either. A huge breath of relief came out of you when you watched Jay and Mark leave the arena altogether. You'd hitched a ride with Colt back to the hotel, and he mercifully only talked about the show and none of your personal issues.

Last night felt like a lifetime ago already. All the anxiety, the concern, over having to hide you and Adam was for naught. You hadn't even made it a week in your secret arrangement before blowing your cover. _I could never be a spy, that's for sure_.

"Hey, can you do me a favor?" you asked as you walked in to the hotel.

"What up?"

"Can you take my stuff to my room? I uh, need to go do something." Colt gave you a perceptive smile, and you hated that.

"Sure," he said simply however, taking your suitcase handle from you. You told him your room number, informing him Candice would be there.

"Thanks." Colt walked off to the elevator, and you pulled out your cell phone.

 _Are you in your room?_

 _310._

Opting to take the stairs, you tried to prepare yourself for what you were walking in to. Would Adam be angry with you? Annoyed that your friend had threatened him? Tired of the drama that you brought along? Sweet and caring towards you like he tended to be?

The undetermined troubled you. But as you knocked at his room, you knew it wouldn't remain that way for much longer.

When he opened the door, and stood before you, you felt your stomach knot.

"Hi," you uttered. Adam just observed you for a moment, no expression discernible on his face.

"Get in here," he commanded, holding the door open wider for you to walk through. You shuffled past him, suddenly feeling like a child in trouble. You heard the door click shut behind you, as you'd stopped just short of fully entering the actual room. You remained standing with your back to him, just beyond the bathroom door.

You didn't know what to do with yourself. You didn't know what to say. He was mad, you guessed. You couldn't blame him; he'd been verbally, and almost physically, assaulted by a good friend of yours, unjustly. You'd been the one to push for secrecy, and foolishly hadn't entertained the idea of what would happen if you were found out. You'd planned to tell everyone on your own time, not be surprisingly uncovered.

What a mess you'd made of things.

"Bren, hey…" You felt his hand on your shoulder blade, skimming down your arm to your hand, where he tangled his fingers into yours.

"I'm so sorry, Adam," you whispered.

"You didn't do anything."

"I made you keep this, us, hidden. If I hadn't…today wouldn't have happened."

"OK…? But, I agreed to this," Adam pointed out.

"I just…Mark shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry he did. It's not fair to you to have to deal with shit like that because of me." You felt entirely defeated by this point, and were genuinely surprised tears weren't filling your eyes. Between the dispute among the boys, what Jay had all but screamed at you, and your own thoughts…everything was just so overwhelming and exhausting.

"Turn around, look at me." He let go of your hand, only to take your forearm, and gently make sure you did come to face him. When you had, he put his hands on your upper arms, sliding them along in a tender, soothing manner. It took you a second to be brave enough to let your eyes meet his.

"Breathe, sweetheart," he ordered. "It's fine. I'm a big boy. I can handle this. It's not like you told him to come at me like that."

"God no."

"So, relax," Adam encouraged, still moving his hands softly along your arms. "It's OK. We're OK." You wished you could follow his directive, but it just wasn't that easy. You still felt jittery all over. "How'd it go with Jay?"

"Horrible," you disclosed, closing your eyes. You leaned forward, putting your forehead against his chest, letting out a deep sigh, the weight of the day pressing down on you. He smoothed his hands over your back, wrapping you in his arms, laying a kiss to your temple. "He was just so…mad. And _mean_. And nothing I said mattered."

"I'm sorry," he murmured, kissing your head again. "It'll be OK. He's just probably shocked to hell right now."

"It was stupid of me to think I could keep this from him," you acknowledged. "He has a right to be pissed."

"Pissed, sure. Disrespectful, no," Adam corrected.

"…he's really mad it's you," you admitted, chewing at your lip.

"I bet he is," he chuckled sourly. "What did he say?"

"Just…a lot of stuff. He doesn't trust you, kept bringing up all the bad things from last year," you reported. You wanted to ask him more about what Jay had told you. But did you even have a right to question him about his ex-girlfriend and their relationship, given it had nothing to do with you really?

"He'll have to get over it," Adam stated. "We're past that. It doesn't matter anymore."

"I know," you mumbled. You squeezed your eyes shut tightly, taking in a breath. It was now or never. You had to know.

"After you and Kelsey broke up, what did you do?"

"…what do you mean?"

"Jay said you were seen out with a lot of girls. He said you, and I quote, 'ran through a line of women' after it happened." You lifted your head from his chest, watching him, as he processed your words.

"…well fuck him," Adam declared, his jaw tightening.

"That doesn't answer my question," you replied, your heart rate speeding up. You stepped back, needing to put distance between the two of you. Adam's arms dropped from you at your action, and he appeared agitated by your decision to move away.

"I was with a few people, yea."

"How many?" His eyes narrowed, examining you.

"Do you really wanna do this, Bren?" he questioned, avoiding your question. "Why does it matter?"

"Because! Jay clearly had a reason for saying that to me. Was he right?"

"Jay said that to you because he wanted to justify his behaviors," Adam asserted. "He knew it would upset you, and he knew it would give him support for being an asshole to both of us."

"…was he right?" you repeated, now outright fearful of his potential response.

"Kind of," he admitted, causing your breathing to falter. "But it wasn't like I was having one night stands left and right. It wasn't like that, I promise. There were a couple, yes. I admit that. And there were a couple girls I knew back home that I hooked up with. But Brenna, it wasn't an every night deal. _It wasn't_."

"Did you ever cheat on Kelsey?"

"…are you fucking kidding me?" Adam crossed his arms tightly over his chest.

"Answer me."

"No, not really."

"What the _fuck_? It's a yes or no question!" You felt dread setting in. Had Jay been right? Was this the type of man Adam actually was? Had you just never realized it before?

"No, I didn't," he affirmed. "But I could see how Jay would tell you that. It was just…it's complicated, OK? Her and I…we aren't you and I. It started as something very causal. So when her and I were first seeing each other, yea, I had been with other girls. But the second she told me it wasn't what she wanted, it was just us! I swear to that."

"When was the last time you were with anyone else?" You hated how unsteady your voice was.

"I don't know? Around the holidays?"

"Have you been with anyone since we've started… _whatever_ this is?"

"Of course I haven't," he was immediately defensive. You could see his neck muscles tightening. "Jesus Brenna, I wouldn't do that to you!"

"But you did it with Kelsey," you pointed out. "You just said she had to tell you to not see other people!"

"You aren't **her** ," Adam stressed. "I told you, things changed in Atlanta for me. You took up way too much space in my head for me to even be able to think about anyone else since then."

"…Atlanta was like, two months ago."

"I know."

You felt so conflicted, so uncertain. On one hand, Adam had been upfront with you for so many weeks, visibly putting your well-being above his. He wouldn't be lying to you now. On the other hand, Mark and Jay had clear and serious objections to Adam. And as someone who you looked at like an older brother, you knew Jay would only have your best interest at heart.

"I need to go."

"What?" He seemed to barely gasp out the word, his arms dropping to his sides, all irritation leaving his body.

"I'm not leaving you. I'm just leaving…right now."

"Bren…"

"Don't, please," you requested, taking in a shaky breath, putting up a hand to stop him from coming closer. "It's just been a hell of a day. I need…just, let me go see Candice and get some peace and calm, OK? Please, Adam. Understand that I'm trying to…figure out the best way to go about all of this."

"Let me help you."

"Jay is my problem," you stated. "And you, and I, we aren't a problem, but I…I just need to take tonight for myself. Just give me that." Adam's shoulders were hunched, his eyebrows furrowed, eyes darting over you.

"I promise to see you in the morning," you assured him, moving yourself forward, setting your hand gently against his bearded cheek. "Adam, _please_ …."

"You have to come back to me," he insisted.

"I always do."

Using your hand, you guided his face towards you, meeting him in a strong kiss. It wasn't overtly passionate, but you pressed yourself fiercely to him all the same, hoping to convince him you meant your words. When you broke the kiss, you remained close to him, your eyes shut, inhaling his exhales.

"I'll see you in the morning," you reiterated. Kissing him again shortly, you stepped back. With one last look at him, you walked around him and out of the room. The expression on his face stayed with you, as you made your way to the elevator and to your room. You'd never seen Adam Cole genuinely scared before. But you were pretty sure you had now.

* * *

 _And when you're needing your space,_  
 _To do some navigating._  
 _I'll be here patiently waiting,_  
 _To see what you find._

 _'Cause even the stars they burn,_  
 _Some even fall to the earth._  
 _We've got a lot to learn,_  
 _God knows we're worth it._  
 _No, I won't give up._

 _I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily._  
 _I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make._  
 _Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use,_  
 _The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake._  
 _And in the end, you're still my friend; at least we did intend,_  
 _For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn._  
 _We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in._  
 _I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am._


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you for the reviews! Please feel free to leave more. I don't feel this is my best chapter, but it had to happen, and here we are. 2-3 chapters left in the story!

* * *

You pushed open your hotel room door, stepping inside, your body feeling heavy. Taking three more purposeful steps, you stopped as soon as you were visible to Candice. She was on her bed, legs crossed under herself, playing on her Nintendo DS. When she looked up at you, you just stared back.

"Fuck today," you declared.

"Wut-woh Shaggy," she replied in a terrible Scooby Doo-esque voice. It didn't even make you crack a smile. You turned instead and fell straight forward onto her bed on your stomach, your face going into the covers, legs still dangling off the end.

"That bad?" In response, you put one arm up in the air and promptly gave her a thumbs-down. Candice huffed a small laugh, placing her game beside herself. "What happened?"

You lifted your head and used your hands to gesture for a pillow, which she handed to you. You folded it within your arms, resting your chin on the bunched up object.

"So, uh, Adam and I decided last weekend to like…genuinely try, um, seeing each other," you admitted slowly. "…surprise?"

"Huh," she sounded more accepting than shocked. "It's about time?"

"I guess?"

"I'm glad we're both confident about it," Candice stated, making you smirk almost uncomfortably. "So, it's not going well then?"

"Adam and I? Up until this morning, we were doing just fine. Genuinely good, actually. Except, I made the decision to keep it a secret, and he agreed, but then Mark saw us, which led to Jay knowing, which involved lots of yelling amongst all of us," you recounted.

"Who yelled at who?"

"Mark at Adam, Mark at me, Jay at me," you listed out. "And I didn't necessarily yell at Adam, but we had a talk just now, and it didn't exactly help the situation."

"Alright, lay it on me," she ordered, turning her hands palm-up and bending her fingers in a grabbing motion. With a sigh, you began to tell her all about the day, starting with your morning with Adam. How it progressed to you being wrapped up in Adam and caught by Mark. The way Mark had reacted, which led to the way Jay reacted. The doubts that their words had put in your head with regards to Adam. Adam's unabashed honesty when confronted with accusations in former relationships.

Your day had been the definition of turmoil you realized, and you really, _really_ hated that.

"So, on one hand, I get where the boys are coming from. Jay takes his chosen-big brother status very seriously for you. He wants you happy and safe and he's allowed to have reservations towards Adam, especially because he's right, he probably has seen a side of Adam we haven't," Candice rationalized. "But, on the other hand, Adam hasn't acted at all like that version of himself with you. He's been careful and cautious and I'm not saying perfect, but it's clear he's been really trying to be good to and for you."

"But Jay doesn't see that!"

"How can he though? You and Adam do everything in secret," she reminded. "If you didn't tell me all these things, I mean, I wouldn't know them either." You pursed your lips, knowing she was right, and being annoyed by it.

"I just…wanted to let Adam and I figure ourselves out, and be solid and on the same page, so when I told everyone it would be like 'oh, well, they've been fine for a while and we didn't even know it so I guess this is good'," you detailed.

"I know, and I get that. But it didn't turn out that way. So all you can do is work from where you guys are at now. Now, it's more about damage control."

"It's literally been a **week**. A fucking week since Adam and I decided to give this a genuine go, and look where we're at."

"Well, to be fair, you've been in this weird back and forth for longer than that," Candice pointed out. "And, I'm pretty sure most people didn't know that either. They probably thought this whole time it was a lot of negativity and hate towards one another, not you two getting together."

"I'm not sorry I didn't want everyone in my business."

"I know you're not," she said. "And I can respect it. But you also had to know the people you are closest to would be upset at being kept out of it."

"…I guess," you mumbled.

"So, why does what Adam told you bother you so much?"

"Because he was just so…matter-of-fact about it, so causal," you supposed. "Like, I meant it when I told Jay that he's allowed to do whatever he wanted when he was single, but it still bothers me that he so casually just slept around with people. I just, I've never understood how people think that's OK. To each their own, and all that, but I personally don't get it. And the fact that it was only like two months ago that he stopped…I don't know. It just doesn't sit well with me."

"Do you believe him?"

"On which part?"

"The part where the second he realized the extent of his feelings for you, he shut it down with any other girls."

"I want to…I think I do…. But then it's like, but no, his last relationship, she had to _tell_ him to stop it. Why didn't I have to? What makes me so different?"

"Um, maybe the fact that you _are_ different to him?" Candice offered. "How many times has that word been used between the two of you? I mean honestly, this entire situation for both of you is a brand new endeavor. Neither of you have been in relationships like this before. And you aren't some typical other girl to him, so his behavior won't be typical or similar to when he was with girls like that."

"I don't get why I'm special to him, why he's different with me than other girls."

"Of course you don't," she replied, almost compassionately. "But, you are special to him. And he is to you, or else you wouldn't be in this situation."

"What if he wants short term? I'm not a short term person. Why would he want to be tied down to me? What if he does have some ulterior motive?"

"Then I'll kill him," Candice planned as if it were nothing. "Maybe you should be asking him this though? All I can say is from how this has been going, I think you're worrying over nothing."

All you could do was sigh more. She was right; this was a discussion you had to have with Adam. While he'd made it clear his feelings for you, he hadn't indicated really what he was expecting out of this. Was he even a guy that believed in marriage? There was a lot you realized you didn't know about him. Did you even have the right to be asking about long-term when you'd barely survived seven days without issues?

"…you know today's Evan's birthday?" Candice scrunched her face up in a sympathetic, almost pained, look.

"I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for," you dismissed her. "Just…weird, knowing he spent so many of his birthdays watching me wrestle, and not doing something he chose to do. And now I'm spending it in all this craziness because I'm trying to move on…."

"Evan wanted to be with you. I know he never regretted a single birthday watching you wrestle," Candice disagreed. "And even if you don't believe it always, I know he'd want you to move on, find happiness again. He _loved_ you being happy."

A bittersweet smile came to your face at her words.

"Ya know, Adam told me that once? That he likes me happy," you recalled.

"Then, he's a good person," she said. "Because that's what you should always want for the person you're with; their happiness."

"Yea," you breathed, biting at your lip. "Hey, remember when I had my life together? And _I_ was the one that others asked for advice from? Remember when there was no drama?"

"Life changes," Candice shrugged. "You're in a transitional phase."

"I'm in the fucking twilight zone is what I'm in," you grumbled, smashing your face in to your pillow. Candice laughed, sliding off the bed.

"I'm gonna go to the corner store and get some beer, and then I'm gonna come back, and we're gonna watch a stupid movie," she arranged. As she passed by you, she smacked your ass, causing you to jolt.

"Really?!"

"Just trying to figure out what Adam's so into," she grinned, picking up her purse. You grabbed your pillow and chucked it in her direction, causing her to shriek and jump out of the way. Candice giggled merrily as she left the room, and you just rolled your eyes.

You really hoped a beer, your best friend, a silly movie, and a good night's sleep would be the remedy you needed. Or at the very least bring you some clarity. You could really use some of that right about now.

* * *

The next morning found Adam in the lobby of the hotel. He hadn't heard from you all night, which worried him, set him very much on edge. He knew you'd requested space, but just how much space did you need? You'd told him you'd see him in the morning, yet there was nothing but silence from you.

With his hood up, Adam headed out to the parking lot, dragging his suitcase behind himself. The Bucks had said they would be down in a little bit, and instead of waiting around inside, he decided to at least put his things in the car.

Unfortunately this endeavor brought him within too few feet of Jay Briscoe, who was also putting his things in a car two spots down. Adam chose to ignore him, popping the trunk and hauling his suitcase in to it.

"Stay the fuck away from her," Jay ordered, his voice loud in the silence of the lot.

"You can't possibly believe I'll listen to you," Adam smirked arrogantly, slamming the trunk shut and turning to face the older Briscoe.

"If you have any brains in that fucking head of yours, you will," the more tattooed man challenged, stepping closer to Adam, stopping inches away. "She isn't just some little play thing for you, Cole. She's far too fucking good for you. I won't let you ruin her."

"She is too good for me, but I'm not going to let that stop me from being with her."

"Man…how fucked up are you? You and Evan hung out. We all got together to watch football! And now you're fucking his widow?!"

"Was he a buddy of mine? Yea. And that's why **I** was the one who tried to keep this from happening," Adam disclosed. "You think Brenna is innocent in this? She's not. I pushed her away for a while because I know she's still healing. But we kept ending up back together, no matter how often I told her to stay away. She's the one who decided to give this a go. I didn't persuade her, I didn't seduce her, I didn't _fuck_ her. You can try to make me out to be some despicable opportunist, but I was the good guy here!"

"And how long is that gonna last huh? How long before you get bored with her? Before you stop caring about her? Before you put yourself before her and hurt her? Again?"

"Never."

"Bullshit," Jay laughed incredulously. "Bull-fucking-shit."

"You don't know me nearly as well as you think you do then. And you don't know shit about her and I," Adam contested. "I care about Brenna. I want her happy and safe. You just want her to do what **you** want."

"I want her to be with someone who isn't going to leave her broken. She's been through enough shit!"

" _You don't know me_ ," Adam reiterated. "You and I, we're around each other, we see each other a lot. But you don't know my motives, you don't know my thoughts. All you know is what you see, and what you think you know. You can tell her what I've done, but you can't tell her why I did it. You can give her doubts and accusations, but I can give her the truth."

"You give her what you know she needs, to get what you want," Jay alleged.

"Or maybe, I give her what she needs so we both get what we want," Adam proposed, glaring right back at Jay. "Have you even asked her what she wants? Or have you just screamed at her and told her she's making a mistake?"

"She is making a mistake," his peer growled.

"No, you are," Adam snapped. "You're pushing away someone who really loves you and looks up to you. YOU are the one hurting Brenna right now, not me. So get over yourself, Briscoe. Because if you don't, I can tell you without a doubt that you're gonna lose her. And she's going to come right to me. And I'll make fucking sure you don't get near her again after that."

"You think you can come between us?"

"I'm not the one coming between anything. You're doing all this on your own, man," Adam assured him disdainfully. "But if you think you can keep upsetting her and I'm not gonna do something about it, then you're _very_ wrong."

"You're not gonna do fucking shit," Jay sneered.

"Watch me."

"…hey, everything good here?" Nick approached the two very agitated men cautiously, Matt only a few steps behind him.

"Yep, we're all good," Adam answered, his eyes never leaving Jay's. It was only after one more tense moment of the stare down that Jay scoffed and walked away saying nothing more. Adam watched him go, his scowl lingering on the man's retreating back.

"What was that all about?" Matt asked, looking from Jay's disappearing figure to Adam.

"Nothing," Adam muttered, turning to his friends, swallowing his emotions. "Ready to go?"

* * *

You were almost grateful that your duties for the night were ring-announcer only, and not wrestler. The tag match that had been set with Candice had been scrapped, leaving her in a singles affair. You weren't positive you could focus in the ring tonight to be honest. You hated that, couldn't remember the last time you felt this way. No matter what was happening in your life, you had always been able to maintain inside the ring. But tonight…the tension backstage was so real for you, you couldn't ignore it.

You chose to clean up the mess with Adam first.

It was easy to find him, standing around with the Young Bucks, dressed in his jeans and shirt still. There was plenty of time for them to get ready, whereas you knew the first match was in an hour and you had to be dressed and good to go. That was why you were in a dusty pink knee-high dress, which haltered around your neck, with various embellishments and beads along the fabric.

"Hey guys," you greeted the group when you arrived. Casual greetings were thrown to you from the Bucks, and Adam just regarded you, his face blank.

"Can I borrow you?" you asked, looking up at him, setting your hand on his forearm. He nodded slightly, to which you skimmed your hand down, linking your fingers into his. When he reciprocated the notion, his hand tightening on yours, you relaxed.

Leading him away, you continued to walk in silence, as you took him outside of the building, into the back parking lot. No one was around, everything having already been loaded in and the roster having already arrived.

"What's up with this?" he inquired, lifting your joined hands in indication.

"No use hiding anything anymore, right?" you conceded.

"Fair enough." Adam smirked, pulling you to him via your hands, so you were directly in front of him. "No use hiding this then too," he determined, putting his other hand onto the side of you neck, beneath your jaw, drawing your mouth up to meet his. You smiled slightly into the kiss, gripping the front of his shirt with your own free hand.

The kisses were sweet, earnest, calm. There was no rush in your kisses, just a lot of comfort. When Adam finally let you go, it took you a moment to come back to the present. Opening your eyes, he had a matching gentle smile on his face as you did on yours.

"We still need to talk," you stated.

"I know," he replied, swiping your hair from your face, before his arm dropped back to his side. "Why did you leave last night?"

"Because…I wasn't expecting it," you answered, letting go of his shirt, stepping back from him, letting go of his other hand. You felt a little space would be good in this conversation, to keep your thoughts on track. "I wasn't expecting to hear those things. I just…it surprised me. And it made me start questioning what you want with me, what Jay is so upset over. If you want to give up things for me. I'm not sure how to be with someone, but I know I have to be with someone _for a while_. And I just…don't know that you know what you're here for."

"So what? You think I've just been…wasting my time with you?"

"That's not what I…."

"Yes, it _is_ ," he cut you off. "You just basically told me that."

"Adam…"

"No, I'm done letting you try to dictate this," he declared, his tone firm, his anger rising. "Brenna, I'm not just _messing around_ with you. I genuinely like you, care about you, fuck, I could love you at some point. I don't know right now. But what I do know is, I'm here for _you_ , for _us_ , and the more you push me away the less I want to be."

"I'm not trying to push you away. I just…"

"What? You what? Can't get past your past to be with me? Trust me, I've noticed."

Your eyes narrowed as you felt ire shoot through your veins.

"FUCK YOU!"

"Truth hurts, doesn't it baby?"

How. Dare. He.

Who did he suddenly think he was, to talk to you like that, so condescendingly? So contemptuously? You had the sudden urge to punch him…again. But before you could even get your fist up, he started talking again.

"You've always gotten after me for telling you what I think you want or need, so I've tried to be conscious of that, try not to do it anymore. But right now, I'm going to tell you, you want to be with me. **I know that**. YOU know that. But _you_ are still the one getting in the way of this. Why?"

"Because I don't know you!"

"Yes you _do_ ," Adam argued. "You know a lot more about me than most people. And that other stuff? The things you don't know? That's the point of being with someone. You _learn_ about them. You ask them. And I think we both know I'm going to be honest with you about whatever you ask, even if it makes me look bad or isn't what you necessarily want to hear.

"Just…you have to _stop_. Stop thinking this is going to be immediately easy or isn't going to take time and work, because it will. And I'm willing to do all that, because I want to, because I want **you**. Can you say the same back to me? Can you just fucking try to, Brenna?"

"I _AM_ TRYING," you shouted. Adam looked taken aback by your sudden outburst, whatever else he was going to say dying on his lips. "Jesus Adam, you think this hasn't been me _trying_? Because that's all I've been doing. I'm _trying_ to not second guess every move, every word, every **feeling**. But I can't just shut off my mind. I can't just pretend I don't hear the things Jay says, because why would he say things he doesn't truly believe to me?

"I **know** this isn't easy. It's not easy for me to disregard him. It's not easy for me to believe you over him. It's not easy for me to let you in and trust you and trust myself. But I am. Fuck you for thinking I'm not trying. Because I'm putting more in to this than anything else in my life right now!"

"Then what the hell is the problem?!"

"I don't know! You were being a dick!"

"You made it sound like I'm not serious about you, and like you didn't believe me last night," he contended. "Kind of hard to not take offense to that!"

"Yea, well, doesn't mean you get to throw low blows about my shit at me," you grumbled. With every passing second it was obvious both of you were coming down from your fighting moods, though each of you looked irritated still. This had been a discussion that had spiraled unnecessarily out of control in to an argument that didn't need to happen.

"Look, I shouldn't have said what I did the way I did," he admitted, his body relaxing. It wasn't a direct apology, but you knew it was Adam's version of one. "You have a right to be hesitant, a right to be confused about a lot of things going on. But I can't have you being hesitant or confused about my reasons for being with you, OK?"

"I don't want to be, and I'm not usually. But then Jay comes along, Mark comes along and I…like I said, I can't just ignore what they say."

"Jay doesn't like me at all right now," Adam told you. "He confronted me earlier in the parking lot. And I get where he's coming from, sort of. He has seen me do some questionable things, and I'm not proud of them. But that isn't who I am _now_ , not with you. And over time, he'll see that."

"What if he doesn't?"

"We can't play the 'what if' game, Bren. We'd both go crazy trying to. All I can say is, give it time, and then we'll figure something out," he offered.

"Yea, alright," you agreed, still a little uneasy about the entire situation. While you had originally wanted time before you let everyone in to your situation with Adam, you weren't sure time would help you now that everyone knew. If anything, you had a bad feeling more time would just give Jay more time to come up with reasons to hate the entire situation.

"Hey, you and me, OK?" Adam reached out to take your hand back in his, tugging you into him, before wrapping his arms around you. You placed your face against his chest, winding your arms around his waist.

"You and me."

* * *

The show came and went, without any issues. You changed out of your dress into leggings and an oversized hoodie, Chucks on your feet. Wheeling your suitcase out of the women's locker room, you continued towards the back of the arena, where you found Adam waiting on you. Walking up to him, you kissed his cheek, causing his gaze to go from his phone to you.

"I need to go see Jay," you informed him. His face immediately went stoic, his shoulders visibly tensing. "I need to at least try to clear the air."

"He's not going to want to hear it," Adam countered.

"Well, that's fine. But I need to at least say it," you replied. He looked entirely displeased with your decision. "I'm not going to leave here until I know I've at least tried."

"You're wasting your time," he said.

"Then it's a good thing it's my time to waste," you disregarded his words. "Just, I have to do this. He can stay mad, fine, but I need to at least make sure he knows why I did what I did."

" **We** did," Adam corrected. "And I'd even go so far as to argue that you haven't done anything to him, and this is actually on me. At least to him."

"Which isn't fair. I had my part in this too. And he needs to know that."

"Nothing I say is gonna stop you, huh?"

"Nope," you grinned, standing on your toes to kiss him lightly. "I'll be fine. I know what I'm walking in to."

"Yea, alright," he reluctantly let the topic drop. "I'll just, take our stuff to the car, and then I'll be right here when you wanna go, OK?"

"OK," you agreed. He kissed you again, before turning to take the handles of both of your suitcases. Instead of watching him go, you started to walk into the backstage area further, in an attempt at finding Jay. You asked a couple coworkers, who each had different answers, keeping you on your hunt. Finally someone told you they had seen him lingering around the one locker room. And sure enough, you found him in the hallway, typing on his phone.

"Hey."

The look he gave you could only be described as indifferent.

"Can we talk?" He remained silent, and didn't give you any indication that he'd heard you. Then he turned and started to walk away. You weren't sure if he was walking away from you or if you were to follow him.

"You comin'?"

Apparently you were to follow him.

So you did, through the hallways until you were away from any of the post-show breakdown and chaos. You found yourselves near what you guessed was the kitchen of the hotel, but at least no one you knew would be in the area. He stopped somewhere in the middle of a hallway, the noises swirling around you, but no one in sight.

"Talk." Jay looked at you plainly.

"Don't be a douchebag," you replied. "I know you're mad, but you don't get to treat me like shit because of it."

"Well, you've treated me like shit, hidin' shit from me," he argued.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about what was going on. I can get why you're upset with the whole situation being a surprise," you acknowledged. "You've been awesome to me, for me, for so many years, and you **are** for all intents and purposes my big brother. So I totally understand why me suddenly having some guy, especially given everything else, wasn't easy to have thrown at you."

"Yea," Jay muttered. Despite his still tense and aloof exterior, you knew him, and knew your words meant something to him. He could look pissed still, but you knew your apology resonated with him.

"So, that said, no more secrets," you promised.

"I can agree to that." You smiled slightly, nervously, before taking in a deep breath.

"I'm staying in Vegas for a couple days," you informed him. "With Adam."

"Oh come the FUCK on," Jay exclaimed, his temper flaring right back up, as he threw his arms out to his sides. "You're making a fucking mistake!"

"If that's what you think, then so be it. But you can't stop me. And if this does turn out to be a mistake, I'll at least learn from it," you decided evenly, shrugging a shoulder. "Jay, you can hate this all you want, but I'm an adult and I can make my own decisions."

"And I can tell you when they're fucking stupid decisions," he disputed. "You are not the kind of girl he gets with. You deserve better. You deserve to have another Evan."

"Well, too bad cloning isn't a fucking thing," you snapped, irritated that he had the audacity to say such a thing. "Jesus Jay, you think I don't know how good I had it? I do. I think about it all the time. It's in the past though, and I need to stop doing that. But let me tell you something, Adam, he's not that different from Evan, not in his heart. You just don't see that part of him, and are choosing to never see that side of him. That's not my fault, that's on **you**."

"I don't trust him."

"That's your choice. But I do."

"I don't think you know what you're getting yourself in to."

"You know me. You know that I overthink and I analyze and I look at pros and cons over everything. So what makes you think that I haven't done that with this? Fuck dude, I pushed Adam away for a while and fought him on this and he let me come to him when **I** was ready," you explained. "Hell, up until a few hours ago, I was still doing that! I probably will continue to, but he's sticking it out with me. And it's not fair that you keep putting this, this _blame_ on him about this! It was me, Jay, ME! This was my choice. You don't have to like it, but you're gonna have to fucking respect it, because I'm not changing my mind about him! Not now. Maybe not ever."

"You're gonna regret this."

"Well, then you'll get to say 'I told you so'," you said, rolling your eyes. "Think whatever you want Jay, but I'm gonna do what I want to. And I hope you can eventually see that I'm learning how to be really happy again, with someone who cares about me. And if you don't, well, that's your choice and you'll be the reason we stop talking, not me."

Jay didn't say more, just looking at you up and down, his face still in a scowl. With a last glance at him, you turned and went back down the hallway. You chewed on your lip as you made your way to where you'd left Adam, realizing the weight of what had just happened. You'd walked away from one of your best friends, someone who had supported and helped you so much over the years, specifically the past one. And why? Because of a relationship that you were still building. You knew Jay was being irrational, but were you too?

"You alright?" Adam asked as you approached, his eyes roaming over your appearance. You made a face, showing your annoyance and unhappiness, looking thoroughly done with the day.

"Can we just go?"

"Yea, of course," he replied, pushing off of the wall he'd been leaning on, slipping his phone into his front jean's pocket. "C'mere beautiful." You placed yourself against his side, as he settled an arm low around your back.

"We're just gonna be drunk for the next 48 hours, OK?"

"Whatever you say," he chuckled. "I've told you I think you need to relax."

"Well, there's your mission for the next two days then. Make sure I make that happen." You leaned further into his side, placing your head against his shoulder.

"Oh, sweetheart, I got this," Adam assured you, his hand sliding down so his fingertips were just inside your back pocket. You smiled to yourself at the action, as you both headed towards the door to the parking lot.

What you didn't see was Jay coming around the corner, also apparently heading out. You didn't observe the way the two men met each others' stares, or the absolutely smug smile that came over Adam's face. You certainly didn't notice the wink Adam sent the other man as he held open the door for you to go through. And that was probably for the best.

* * *

 _Moment of honesty,_  
 _Someone's gotta take the lead tonight._  
 _Whose it gonna be?_  
 _I'm gonna sit right here,_  
 _And tell you all that comes to me._  
 _If you have something to say,_  
 _You should say it right now._

 _You give me a feeling that I've never felt before._  
 _And I deserve it, I think I deserve it._  
 _It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore,_  
 _And I can't take it._

 _I was wondering maybe,_  
 _Could I make you my baby?_  
 _If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy?_  
 _If you ask me, I'm ready._  
 _If you ask me, I'm ready._


	11. AUTHOR NOTE

I'm having a hellllll of a hard time writing this next chapter of Insolence.

It's just not flowing out like others. It's not flowing out so much that I already started the next chapter (12) because I had an idea/inspo for that.

Don't want you guys to think I've forgotten the story. I'm trying my best here. It's just gonna probably be a few more days.

It's maybe half done at this point. I have off Friday from work so hopefully...


	12. Chapter 11

AUTHOR NOTE: I am sooooo not a smut writer. But here's my loving attempt at it all the same. So this isn't really _smut_ but like, happy sexy times? (Please, 1000x over, let me know your thoughts on this one! So out of my comfort zone. Also, just in general, what's up? Good stuff? Only a chapter or two left sooo...)

Thank you to everyone who reviews! :)

* * *

 _These are the days we've been waiting for.  
Neither of us knows what's in store.  
You just roll your window down and place your bets.  
These are the days we won't regret.  
These are the days we will never forget!_

"So what exactly are we doing?" Adam inquired, watching you from the doorway of the bathroom as you did your hair; two braids coming from the front, meeting at the back of your head, where you were pinning them to rest over your hair that was down.

"Regretting letting me plan today?" you asked, throwing a coy but mocking smile at him quickly, before focusing back on your appearance.

"Nah, I'm sure you're not getting me killed or anything," he stated with a chuckle, leaning against the door-frame.

"You don't know that," you argued, looking at him through the mirror. "I could totally have gotten in contact with the mob already. Or Jay."

"…too soon," Adam grumbled, making you giggle. "Can we not talk about him?"

"We're gonna have to face it eventually," you pointed out, finishing with your hair, turning to face him.

"Yea, eventually. But not now. Today and tomorrow…this is us, _just_ us, OK?"

"Got it," you agreed, walking to him, standing up straight to kiss him briefly "You and me."

"You and me."

"Now let's go so I can date the hell out of you," you declared, causing him to laugh outright, as you walked past him out of the bathroom.

"Oh, is that what this is?" he asked amused, turning and watching you as you grabbed your shoes, and sat down on the bed to put them on.

"Yes," you answered, tying your red low top shoes. "Because we did this whole thing ass backwards."

"I mean, you're not _wrong_ ," he conceded. "But we also haven't exactly had time with each other that didn't also involve work."

"Well, now we do. So we're gonna be normal," you explained, standing up. You fixed the flowy black shirt you were wearing, which was over a light pair of jean capris. Adam was similarly dressed in a jeans and a t-shirt. Las Vegas wasn't sweltering at this time in the day, but it was warm enough for you to just bring a light sweater and be fine.

After getting back from the show last night, the both of you had realized you hadn't made actual plans for the next two days. So it had been determined, with a coin toss, that you would be in charge of today's activities, and Adam was to plan tomorrow.

This morning you had slept in together, enjoying a lazy morning in bed with the TV. Adam had, courteously, kept his own hotel room booked for the days, but you were happy to wake up beside him, and told him as much.

Once the day had turned to afternoon, you went downstairs to the hotel restaurant for lunch. It was just shy of 4PM now, and you were finally heading out for the other activities you'd chosen. Which you were keeping secret from Adam.

Though, to be fair, he hadn't told you what he planned for tomorrow.

Making sure you both had any needed items from the room, you went downstairs and out to the car. Adam, begrudgingly, let you drive. You had to give him points for thinking you'd let him and he could figure out the plans that way.

Las Vegas traffic was a bitch, even later on a Sunday. But you eventually arrived to your pre-planned destination. The same venue you'd had Ring of Honor shows at this weekend; Sam Town's Live.

"…what?" Adam asked, his eyes scanning over the building. "We've been here for the last two nights. Why are we back?"

"How many times have we been here, like in total?" you responded, parking the car.

"I don't know. Probably ten? Maybe?"

"And none of those times did any of us ever do any of the fun stuff that's here," you specified. "We've talked about it on plenty of occasions, just never did it." The two of you got out of the vehicle, meeting at the trunk. "So, we're gonna see a movie and get dinner and then I am _so_ kicking your ass at bowling."

"You are taking this 'normal' date plan very seriously," Adam observed with a chuckle. You just grinned cheekily at him, took his hand, and made sure he was coming along with you into the building.

You found it was easier to just _be you_ when it was only Adam. There was no worrying over what others thought or said or saw. There was little opportunity for your mind to go elsewhere. Adam was engaging, fun, entirely aware of you…you'd forgotten part of that somewhere along the way it seemed. But if you thought about it, it was what attracted you to him. Your friendship way back when had started with him because of these things.

Adam was beyond excited that you'd picked the movie Fist Fight to see. You giggled at his enthusiasm, and internally praised yourself for the choice. To be fair, it was also a movie you wanted to see.

It was about 6PM when you left the theater, still laughing and going over your favorite parts of the movie. You grabbed dinner at the in-building steakhouse, which was full of genuine catching up with one another; talk of each other's families, Adam asking about your other job, you asking about his recent time in Japan, and his upcoming trip to England.

By the time you headed over to the bowling alley, a couple hours later, you were slightly tipsy. Not drunk, but feeling a bit looser.

The man working the counter was a big wrestling fan you found out. So after some talking, a couple autographs and pictures, he gave you what would essentially be free games for the night. After many assurances it wasn't necessary, and then thanks, you headed over to get your bowling shoes.

"How come they haven't made cuter shoes by now?"

"I don't know," Adam answered, picking up his pair from the counter.

"Like, this does **not** match my outfit, at all," you disapproved.

"Well, that's the joy of bowling, isn't it? You get to wear stupid shoes and throw things at other things," he detailed, as you finally reached your assigned lane.

"I do like throwing things," you conceded almost dreamily, causing him to chuckle. Sitting down on one of the plastic benches, stowing your purse underneath, you took off your shoes and put on the tan and red shoes.

"Do I look good, or do I look _good_?" you asked jokingly, standing up and striking a dramatic pose to show off your temporary footwear.

"Sexiest you've ever looked," Adam established.

The first two games went by quickly, leaving you each with one win. Jokes and trash talk were exchanged throughout. Adam attempted to distract you by sneaking up behind you, and you attempted to throw him off his game by teasingly pulling up your shirt a few inches.

"I will return with more drinks," you decided, kissing his cheek, and standing up after the second game had ended, and the waitress circling around hadn't been seen in a while.

"Alright," Adam said, and you could feel his gaze on you as you walked away.

Making your way to the bar, you leaned your forearms against it, waiting for the bartender to notice you. She was currently filling a larger order, so you knew it would take a moment. In the interim, you let your eyes scan around, casually people watching. Vegas sure brought out an eclectic grouping of people; from families to couples to girls getting drunk together, to dudes trying to hit on those girls. It was an interesting mixture, and entertaining to observe.

"Who knew a Sunday night would be so busy?" Looking over, you found a man standing beside you. He was cute enough, in the conventional preppy-boy style; wearing a graphic tee and jeans. He had to be in his mid-20s you figured, around your age.

"Vegas never sleeps," you replied.

"Can't really blame it," he stated. "It's not for a lack of anything to do."

"This is true," you agreed, your eyes trying to catch that of the bartender's.

"Are you here on vacation?"

"Something like that."

"Well, I'm Nate," he introduced himself.

"Nice to meet you."

"No name for you?"

"I'm a mystery," you identified, your voice monotone. You could chit-chat with the best of them, if their intentions seemed innocent or sweet. But something in this man's posture, presentation, told you he wasn't either of these things. And that made him unwelcome to you.

"I bet I can figure you out," Nate decreed, suggestively. You continued to stare at the bartender, in hopes she'd come over soon.

Thankfully, she did. You ordered another round of liquor for you and Adam, watching as she walked off to make the drinks.

"Didn't take you for a vodka girl," Nate commented.

"Eavesdropping is rude," you highlighted.

"Feisty." You had to work very hard to restrain yourself from rolling your eyes, and giving him a piece of your mind. "Don't girls usually like their cute little mixed drinks?"

"Anyone can like a good mixed drink whenever they choose to," you explained, your tone biting. "I don't recall drink menus coming with gender assignments."

"Hey." Adam's voice was music to your ears. Not that you couldn't handle yourself, you had for years. But backup was always welcomed. Especially when you just weren't in the mood to handle pushy men.

"Hi," you turned you hip against the bar, allowing him to come to your side, an arm going around your waist. You didn't miss that his kiss was a little bit more _possessive_ than usual. You guessed he'd been watching you at the bar, and had read the situation the same way you had.

"Have you even ordered yet?" Adam inquired.

"Yes."

"Good." From the corner of your eye, you noticed the scowl on Nate's face beside you. Adam turned his gaze to the man, and you could almost feel the cockiness, protectiveness, radiating from him. "Hey, man."

"Hey," the other reciprocated. "Busy night, huh?"

"Definitely," Adam granted, his stare never leaving Nate's. "But my girlfriend and I are having fun all the same."

Your heart skipped a beat at his statement.

"I'm glad to hear it," Nate, begrudgingly, said. "Well, keep enjoying your night."

"You too," Adam replied, before coming closer to the bar, turning himself enough to keep Nate from being able to fully see you. The bartender came back a moment later with your drinks, each of you picking up yours. You took a long drink from the glass.

"Girlfriend, huh?" you questioned, looking up at Adam. He appeared unfazed on the surface about your inquiry, but his eyes told a different story.

"Too far?"

"Just right," you ensured, kissing him shortly, before walking away and back to the lane you had been assigned. Honestly, you were still trying to process through his sudden declaration and use of defined terms for what you were. While you appreciated it, liked it, you still hadn't expected it. It _did_ sound nice to hear. But was it too much? Too soon?

Not seconds later did you feel Adam's hand on your hip, stopping you from punching in for your third game to start on the computer.

"Bren, I'm serious," he stated, his voice close to your ear, as you set your drink down on the table. "I need you to tell me if that was too far."

Apparently Insecure Adam was making another, rare, appearance. It would probably never cease to surprise you any time you heard worry or uncertainty in his tone. But you preferred this to Insolent Adam any day of the week.

"Do you regret saying it?"

"What? No."

"Then…what's the issue?" You turned yourself enough to face him. "You told me you weren't messing around with me. And I'm clearly not looking to be with anyone else. So…what else would we call this? Friends with benefits?"

"…what benefits?"

"Don't be an ass," you demanded, causing the suggestive smirk to fall from his face after his ill-timed joked.

"Hey, Bren, you're right," Adam conceded gently. "I just…don't want you to think I'm pushing you towards something you're not ready for."

"I've literally told my best friends to get fucked. I'm in Vegas alone with you. These are _my_ choices," you confirmed. "I know I haven't been the best at being open about what I want and what's in my head before. But I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to not second-guess and hesitate and worry. I'm trying to just do what feels right."

"And this does?"

"Do you think I would be here if it didn't?" you challenged.

"No."

"So, then, _boyfriend_ , can we get back to me kicking your ass at bowling?"

"We're tied."

"Not for long."

Before you could turn back to the lane screen, Adam pulled you to him, kissing you. It wasn't deep in the physical sense, but you knew it was meaningful. He needed you to feel, know, he meant this. There was now structure, titles, boundaries, instilled in your relationship. While part of you was still very nervous, the other part of you was thrilled. And you were trying your best to let the happy part overshadow anything else.

* * *

"My date today is gonna be so better than yours."

" _Excuse me_?" You couldn't decide what you wanted to be more offended by; the fact that he thought he had a better plan than you, or that he basically implied your date day had been bad.

"I'm just sayin'," he shrugged, grinning over at you. You didn't smile back.

"So yesterday sucked then?"

"What? **No**."

"Then explain yourself."

"I had fun yesterday, of course I did. I didn't mean… I was just joking, Jesus," he finally got out, looking entirely uncomfortable under your stare.

"Mmhmm," you murmured, looking him up and down once, before turning to gaze out the cab's window. You struggled to keep the smile from coming to your face as you felt him glancing over at you. Giving Adam a hard time was quickly becoming a new hobby for you. When he took your hand in his, lifting it to kiss the back of it, you broke and let out a giggle.

Your day had been another lazy one. Another lunch in the hotel. An afternoon nap. Some day-drinks in the hotel room.

Now that you found yourself driving away from the hotel, you already had a good idea that his plans for the night were far different than yours. The fact that he had told you to wear the short ruffled nude-gold dress and heels gave enough away to tell you that you wouldn't be hanging at a bowling alley and bar tonight.

So when you pulled up to the Mirage hotel, you weren't entirely shocked. But you were still very curious as to what you'd be doing here.

Adam was quick to take care of the cab and lead you in to the hotel. It was beautiful inside, you had to say; full of trees and different places to veer off to. You followed beside Adam into the hotel and along the side, arriving at a restaurant called Japonais. It was darker in atmosphere; mysterious, sexy, cool.

The hostess sat the two of you quickly, at a small table against the wall further inside. Within moments a waiter came over to welcome you, as well as take your drink order. You felt adventurous, trying one of their specialty cocktails, while Adam had settled on a Japanese beer.

Dinner was incredibly enjoyable. The food, specifically sushi, was amazing; the conversation flowing with ease. You and Adam spoke about your dreams for your careers, you worries about accomplishing these things. Hopes for your lives beyond wrestling; kids a desire for the both of you, along with a quiet suburban life.

You realized how many things you had known about him before, and how many you still had to learn.

Adam eventually informed you that you needed to leave to make the next event he had planned, which came sooner than you anticipated. Time had seemingly flown during dinner. Downing your third drink, he paid, before you headed back out in to the hotel. Walking with your arm tucked in to his, you eventually came upon a theater.

The words 'The Beatles, Cirque Du Soleil' read across the marquee.

"Adam, _oh my god_ ," you gasped, taking in the large British flag projected on the ceiling above you.

"I figured you'd like this."

"You should like it too," you resolved, looking to him.

"It's **The Beatles**. Who the hell doesn't like The Beatles?"

"Fair," you said with a giggle. Pulling him closer, you stood up straight to kiss him lightly a few times. "This is awesome. Thank you."

"Anything to see you happy." A blush came to your face almost instantly at his declaration. After giving your tickets, you made your way to your seats, to enjoy the show.

The show ended up being **incredible**. Every part of it amazed you. While you were fairly athletic as a wrestler, acrobats took the cake as far as flexibility and physical skill. You wished you could do many of the things they did. The music, the colors, the movements…it was absolutely breathtaking.

It ended far too soon in your opinion. You could have watched hours and hours more of it.

Adam guided you out of the theater, and back into the hotels' atrium. He took you over to one of the bars, which was surrounded by palm trees and other bits of outdoorsy-décor. Sitting at a table, a waiter came over and took your drink orders.

You gushed to Adam about the show over drinks, how much you had enjoyed the entire experience, the entire night to be honest. Conversation changed to other topics; other bands you loved, concerts you'd been to, concerts you wanted to go to. Drinks continued to come, as topics in your talks changed to movies and friends and places you wanted to travel to.

A loud collection of people broke your concentration on one another as they made their way in to the bar just shy of midnight. Based on the short white dress, and the sloppy way a man hung on her, kissing her, you had one guess as to what had happened.

"I can't believe people actually do that," you commented, watching the couple giddily ordering drinks at the bar with their friends, some of their loud voices commenting on the 'crazy wedding' that had just occurred.

"To each their own," Adam shrugged, looking amused at the drunken party of people. "How come you and Evan never got married?"

"Didn't get around to it," you replied, taking a strong drink from your glass, as he faced you again. The mention of your former love, surprisingly, didn't hurt as much as you thought it would. "We didn't want it to be all crazy and stressful, more than it had to be anyways. So we were just waiting for, I guess, my life and career to settle a bit. It never mattered to us though. I called him my husband more often than not."

"You guys were engaged for a while…."

"Almost three years," you clarified. "We waited until he was done with college for that part. But like I said, it just wasn't a huge thing for us that we felt we had to do. We were together, everything was good as it was. Words and titles and legalities weren't important then."

"I genuinely didn't know you guys weren't married more than once," Adam stated, causing a bittersweet grin to come to your face.

"A lot of people didn't; still don't probably. It just got easier to tell people we were than explain what we actually were. I mean, I didn't even wear my ring a lot because I was always afraid of losing it on the road."

"You do lose things, a lot."

"So much," you admitted, with a laugh. "Ya know, I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to talk about exes on dates."

"…we're _really_ shitty at this."

"The worst," you grinned, and after a pause, spoke again. "So, Kelsey…."

"Ha, fucking, ha," Adam muttered, taking his own long drink from his glass.

"Kidding!" You smiled widely at him, causing him to give you a fake, short smirk of his own, before a genuine smile came to his lips. The conversation fell off for a minute, as you each sipped more at your drinks. While it had been easy to talk about Evan, and joke about Adam's past relationship, you knew that it also brought up feelings for both of you. Things that didn't really need to be relevant right now. Things that shouldn't be bothered with at this time.

"So, good couple days?"

" **Great** couple days," you corrected, grateful for the subject change. "I needed this. _We_ needed this."

"Yea," Adam agreed, his eyes catching yours. "I'm not ready for it to end, honestly."

"We've still got tonight…and the morning," you replied, biting at your lip. You knew your statement held promise, suggestion.

It was intentional.

"Let me know when you're ready to head back," he offered, his tone equally indicative of more to come.

"After this drink?"

"Sounds good."

There was a solid chance you put some hurry into finishing your liquor. After closing out the tab, Adam tucked you into his side, heading out front to get a cab. Throughout the ride back to your hotel, you stayed against his side, your hand resting on his thigh.

Heading up to your room seemed to take longer than you wanted.

As soon as the door was closed, you had your shoes off, kicked somewhere against the wall. You reached behind yourself, sloppily tugging at the zipper on your dress.

"Help me," you pouted, looking over your shoulder at Adam, who was slowly making his way in to the room, observing you. After toeing off his shoes, he eventually came to you, his hands gently pulling down the zipper, exposing your back to him.

Turning towards him, you immediately put your hands on his cheeks, pulling him into a strong kiss. Adam seemed to take a second to take stock of the situation, before his hands rested against your hips, pulling you flush against him.

It was barely moments before the kiss turned to tongue and teeth, emotion and urgency flowing between the two of you.

"Bren…." Your name was practically a breath from him as he parted slightly from you.

"Adam, don't," you requested, your hands slowly sliding down his shoulders, his torso, stopping as they met the waistband of his pants. "If I didn't want this, I wouldn't do this. You have to know that by now."

"…I do," he assured. "I just…."

"Don't turn in to a gentleman now," you smirked.

"I will _always_ be that way to you," Adam affirmed, his seriousness catching you off guard.

"…I know," you recovered. "Which is why I'm confident in this. I trust you. I'm safe with you, right?"

"Always."

"Then kiss me. And get this dress off of me," you declared, your fingers curling into his belt, pulling him further into you. "Trust **me** when I say I want this."

Instead of replying, Adam placed his mouth against yours. You had enough sense about you to reciprocate the action, your mouths opening quickly, tongues meeting the others. You felt his hands move up to the straps of your dress, pushing them down your arms, letting the material fall down your body.

Trying to keep things equal, you had your hands working open his belt within a moment, unbuttoning his pants, causing them to hang loosely on his hips. You let go of him, and moved your arms out of your dress, the clothing bunching at your hips. Adam moved his hands to continue pushing your dress down, as you put your hands so they cradled his jaw, pressing his lips closer into yours. You barely acknowledged the feeling of your dress falling to your feet, but you stepped out of it all the same, leaving you in just your lingerie.

While his mouth traveled down your cheek to your neck, you worked at unbuttoning his shirt. It seemed to happen far faster than you could comprehend; he slid out of his shirt, you got off your bra, he moved you so the back of your legs met the bed. He made sure you were eventually on your back, your feet just dangling over the edge of the mattress. Adam was above you quickly, his lips working smoothly down your chest, to your stomach.

When his kisses made it below your belly button, you stopped him, with a hand to his head gently, your stomach flexing tightly.

"…don't," you murmured, causing his eyes to come up and meet yours, his breath hot against your skin. "Don't."

"Sweetheart…."

"I just want you right now."

Pushing yourself up onto your elbows, you guided Adam back up to meet you in a kiss. Gliding your hands down as far as you could, you pushed at his pants that were still hanging on to his body. He lifted himself from the bed, finishing what you started, leaving himself naked. Reaching towards you, he gently pulled at your panties, sliding them down your legs, leaving you equally exposed.

Your breath caught as you realized the situation. This had gotten **really real**. And as much as you wanted this, you couldn't help but feel a miniscule amount of hesitance. This was a significant step, for you personally, and for the both of you in this relationship.

"Hey," Adam got your attention, sensing your mood as he settled himself above you, causing your eyes to go to his. "It's _me_ , Bren."

"That's the issue," you chuckled humorlessly. "How the fuck did you get **so** into my head?"

"Because I wanted to," Adam stated. "But mostly because you let me."

With that, and a high-pressured kiss, you felt him finally slide his way into you. It had been over a year now since you'd last had sex, and your body was certainly reminding your brain of that as he entered you. You knew the alcohol was dulling some of your feelings, but you were highly aware all the same.

What you knew, above it all, was that you did want this. And really, really liked this. Adam had the good grace to pause a moment, but when you let out a breath, he stopped being still. He felt really good moving within you, and when he put his thumb on your clit, you immediately arched up in to him, a moan bubbling up your throat.

"Shit," you hummed, your nails involuntarily biting in to the skin of his shoulder.

"Yea?"

"Yes," you gasped, screwing your eyes shut, as he increased the movement of his thumb. His lips found your neck again as you met him thrust for thrust.

You never wanted to forget what this felt like. You felt warm, tingly, all over; pleasantly taut physically but relaxed emotionally. Adam's mouth on you, hands on you, _body_ on you…you felt wanted, safe, cherished.

God, he was **good**.

"Bren…" his voice was broken, lust-loaded, as he came back up to kiss you deeply.

" _Adam_ ," you practically whimpered.

"I got you, gorgeous," he comforted, pushing in deeper somehow.

It was minutes later you felt your core tightening, as your hips pushed up firmly against his. Adam finished not too long after.

After each of you caught your breath, Adam moved himself to your side, your shoulders pressed against each other's. Your heart was still beating fast, and you still felt small tingles trickling through your body. Adam seemed equally effected still beside you.

"Fuck," you realized, breaking the silence. "I totally just put out after only the second date."

"Slut."

"Right back atcha," you asserted. Adam laughed, turning his head, to which you moved your own, meeting his eyes.

"You were right; we're shit at this."

"At least we're in it together?"

"Exactly," he concurred. You couldn't help but giggle, as a smile formed on Adam's face. He moved closer, kissing you gently, before pulling you into his side, your head going to his chest.

This had been a busy two days. A lot have been done, a lot of been discussed, and a lot had changed. You were in a relationship. With a really good person. In spite of all the changes and what such things usually did to you, you felt calm. Content. _Happy_. You didn't feel questioning and panicky like you tended to do.

This felt… **right**.

You never wanted to leave the bubble you'd made in Vegas with Adam.

 _I never saw it happening._  
 _I'd given up and given in._  
 _I just couldn't take the hurt again -_  
 _What a feeling._

 _I didn't have the strength to fight._  
 _Suddenly, you seemed so right._  
 _Me and you -_  
 _What a feeling._

 _What a feeling in my soul -_  
 _Love burns brighter than sunshine._  
 _It's brighter than sunshine._  
 _Let the rain fall, I don't care._  
 _I'm yours, and suddenly you're mine._  
 _Suddenly, you're mine._


	13. Chapter 12

Waking up the next morning had been a struggle. You were still tired, yet your body was coming out of sleep on its own. It wasn't that anything specifically was waking you; no alarms were going off, the curtains were still drawn keeping the sunlight out. And Adam wasn't moving next to you.

Cracking open an eye, it took you a moment to realize why that last thing wasn't an issue.

Adam wasn't even in bed with you.

A bleary glance at the clock on the bedside table told you it was just past 9 in the morning. Rolling around in the sheets, ending up on your back, you listened closely to the silence, expecting to hear him in the bathroom. Except, you didn't.

"…Adam?"

No response.

Sitting up, you leaned over, almost falling off the bed, to turn on the lamp. You realized in doing so his side of the bed wasn't all that warm. Scanning the room, you didn't see his suitcase anymore near yours by the wall; no clothes on the floor, no shoes, nothing of his sitting on the dresser.

All traces of him appeared to be gone.

 _Oh…my…god…_

You tried to not panic. You tried not to think Jay had known what he was talking about, that Adam had gotten what he wanted and promptly bailed. You tried to remember to trust him and believe everything he had said to you thus far. You tried to come up with a logical explanation for his absence. You tried, you really did.

All but tumbling out of the bed, you quickly went to your suitcase and grabbed the first t-shirt you could find and a pair of shorts. Tugging them on with shaking hands, you went to the door and pulled it open just enough to peek out in to the hallway. You wanted to see Adam there, coming back with breakfast or taking a phone call.

The hallway was empty however.

That was when your anxieties started to win the war within yourself.

Dread, regret, anger, panic, unease, sadness…all of the reactions ran through your brain and in to your body. Your heart rate sped up, while your lungs felt unable to take in anymore air.

He was gone.

You didn't shut the door so much as it slid from your fingers, stuttering before clicking shut on itself.

While your insides felt like they were buzzing with negativity, your outside was frozen where you stood. You didn't know what to do. Cry? Scream? Sit quietly and feel like an idiot?

Slowly, you came to, trudging your way back in to the room. You fell backwards on to the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. Your lungs remembered how to work as your back hit the bed, and you started to take in deep gasps of breath.

No.

NO.

 _No_.

This couldn't be happening. He had to be downstairs, around the corner, somewhere still in the hotel. He had told you; he was in this, totally, completely. This wasn't just a fling to him. There had been titles, definition, given to this.

He wasn't the person to just leave. He **wasn't**.

But what if…he had just played you?

You grabbed a pillow and smashed it over your face at the thought.

That would make you total idiot. All of the talks, the arguing, the back and forth, the flirting, the kisses, the assurances…all for naught.

Maybe Jay and Mark had been right. Perhaps you had been totally wrong.

Actions spoke louder than words, didn't they?

 **No**.

 _NO!_

He was coming back. He had to be.

Adam was with you, for all the right reasons. Because he wanted to be. Because he cared about you on a level beyond superficial. Because he had a good heart, and you mattered to him. You had to believe that, trust that.

 _You know that_. _You know he's a good friend, and he's a good boyfriend._ _ **You know that**_ _._

Somehow through the debate, and chaos, and assurance that was running in your brain, on top of the white noise that was rushing in your ears, you thought you heard the door open.

Slowly, you lifted a corner of the pillow off your face, peaking out curiously, almost fearfully.

"…what are you doing?"

You wanted to reply…you just _couldn't_.

You felt frozen by surprise, stupidity, and adrenaline.

"Bren? You OK?"

"…yep," you squeaked out, before putting your face entirely back under the pillow.

What a fearful, cynical fool you were.

What a terrible person you were.

Adam had **promised** you time and time again he wasn't using you, wasn't out to hit it and quit it. Yet, when push came to shove, you hadn't totally believed him, had allowed yourself to think the absolute possible worst of him.

You had to stop this. You had to stop letting other people's opinions sway yours. You were the one with Adam, no one else. Who he was with you, just you, that was the person you needed to base all your thoughts and reactions on.

He wanted to be with you; you wanted to be with him.

It was what it was.

And yes, that brought about vulnerability and risk. But you had to let yourself be open to those things. Because that's what relationships entailed, to some extent.

There would never be another Evan in your life. But there was an Adam. And he was _right_ for you, in all his own ways.

You took in a shaky breath, trying to settle yourself, stop yourself from freaking out any longer. Pressing the pillow harder against your face, you squeezed your eyes tightly shut beneath it.

"You sure you're OK?" Adam's voice was much closer now, and a moment later you moved with the bed as it dipped, indicating he had sat down beside you.

Lifting your hand, you made a 'too sweet' gesture, causing him to laugh.

"Why you under the pillow though? The curtains aren't even open." You shrugged, though you weren't even sure he could see that.

"Baby, hey…what's up?"

After a quiet moment, you finally removed the object from your face, flinging it down towards the bottom of the bed.

"Where were you?" you asked instead of acknowledging his question.

"Took my stuff down to the car," he explained. "Figured it's one less thing for us to worry about."

 _Of course he had_. There was your logical, rational explanation. The one your overactive, anxious, stupid, awful brain hadn't even at all remotely thought of.

"You don't look OK," Adam commented, and you weren't surprised. You knew that there was no way you didn't look like you'd been having what was probably a panic attack.

"Just…so not ready to leave," you lied, hating yourself with every word you spoke. But you didn't want to tell him what had been running through your mind the last few minutes; it would just upset him. This was on you, not him.

"Yea, I can understand that. I'm not either," he agreed. Adam leaned himself over you, his arm crossing over your body, his hand resting on the bed beside your furthest side. "By the way, good morning, gorgeous."

"Hey there," you grinned back at him, telling yourself you weren't blushing, but knowing you were.

Last night came rushing back over you as he looked down on you, his eyes shining. Your date and drinks. The hotel room. Clothes disappearing fairly quickly off of yourselves. How _caring_ he had been in every movement he had made towards you, and with you. The security, the peace, you'd felt lying next to him.

You hated yourself a little bit more for doubting him moments ago. Last night should have wiped all concerns away.

"I have an idea, and you can tell me no," Adam stated, gaining your attention and curiosity. "I was thinking that for the couple days before we have to go down to Florida, you come and stay at my place."

Adam was going to be in England this coming weekend, you knew that. And you would be home, working. The next weekend you had an AIW show, and he was to be home.

"What? Two weeks too long apart?"

"Yes." His answer came without hesitance, making your insides flutter. Reaching up with one hand, you guided his face down to yours, pressing your lips to his. You could feel the smile on his face as he kissed you back, letting his upper body rest against yours. "So is that a yes?" He barely broke from you to ask.

"It's a yes," you confirmed, your sentence just finished before he had his mouth on yours again.

"You know, we don't have to be outta here for a couple hours still," Adam pointed out, as he leaned back enough from you to be able to see his face.

"Oh yea? Got some ideas?" You raised your eyebrows, suppressing a smirk.

"Got a couple," he admitted. He, however, did not suppress the smirk on his face.

"Wanna show me?"

"Gladly."

Your hastily thrown on clothes ended up taken off just as hastily by Adam within moments.

* * *

A week and a half later, you were gently pressing at the skin under your eye, cringing as you barely touched it and a sharp pain shot through your entire being. There wasn't yet a big bruise on your cheek, but it was puffy and you knew the colors would become more vibrant in a few days' time.

It was no fault of your opponent's for your injury. They'd thrown an elbow a little high, and you'd stepped a little off target. It was an honest mistake. Granted, it was a mistake that really fucking hurt, the jab to your cheekbone hadn't been intentional. You were just grateful it hadn't been directly in the eye, or nose.

Picking up the ice pack you'd made from a bag and ice, you placed it gently back on your face, turning off the light as you left the hotel bathroom. You went and laid down on the bed; flat enough that you could balance the ice pack on your cheek hands-free, but up enough that you could still watch the TV with one eye.

Colt had, reluctantly, allowed you to retreat to your hotel room alone. You had to adamantly promise to call if you had any issues.

It was just shy of 11PM when your phone started ringing. Grabbing it from beside you on the bed, you looked at the screen.

The name that showed was the last one you expected to see.

Sliding the bar, you pressed the phone to your ear.

"…hello?"

"Hey bug," Jay's gruff voice came over the line.

"…what's up?" You were being cautious you with him, but based on your last interaction, no one could blame you for it really. Jay had made his feelings very clear to you, and you had made yours equally known. The two of you weren't on good terms right now.

"I uh, heard you got clipped in the face tonight. Also had a picture sent to me from Twitter. You a'ight?"

"I've taken worse."

"Didn't answer my question."

"Hurts a bit, but nothing to be worried over," you replied, a small smile coming to your face at his concern. Apparently fights aside, he still cared, so that was nice to know.

"Got a shiner?"

"Eh, sort of? It's a little lower than that, definitely directly on my cheek."

"How'd it even happen?"

You gave Jay a brief description of the in-ring mishap, making sure to repeatedly highlight that it was an accident. After, he asked about the match and show overall, and you gave him a rundown of your night. He listened, and offered some opinion on others that you had been around that night.

"Has Cole called?"

And there it was, the thing that caused you to grit your teeth. You should have known the pleasant conversation wouldn't last forever.

"I haven't called him. He's out with family," you answered, your tone clipped.

"So that's a no."

"Jay…just, fucking don't, OK?"

"Just sayin', if I've heard about what happened to you, he probably has too. And he should be checkin' up on you."

"Or maybe he doesn't know what happened. Maybe he doesn't have little spies on me like you do. Maybe he trusts me and knows I'm going to tell him myself."

"I trust you. I don't trust _him_."

"Why can't you believe that maybe he's changed from the person you knew?"

"Because people don't change like that," Jay argued. "You may be happy now, shit, for a couple years…but eventually, he's gonna do what he always does."

"You psychic now?"

"Nah, but I know history likes to repeat itself."

You'd had enough.

"You know what? You have no idea how much all this bullshit with you has messed with me," you declared. "And I can't have it. Adam isn't what you say he is. But thanks to you, the first sign of anything I don't know, I immediately think the worst of him. And that's not fair. He wasn't there when I woke up the other day, so I immediately went to 'he's left me for good'. And he hadn't. Because he's _not that person_. I feel horrible that I thought those things about him unfairly.

"And a lot of it is because of you getting in to my head, and not being my big brother, but a jackass. I thought you'd be a person I could always count on, trust in, that would have my back. And you're not being that person right now. And I'm tired of it."

"I don't have mind control of you."

"No, but you do have influence," you replied. "And it's not a good influence anymore. I have to be my own person, make my own decisions. And…I'm deciding on Adam."

"You know he's going to the E, right?"

"No contracts have been signed," you retorted.

"Oh come _on_ ," Jay protested. "You can't be that ignorant."

"I'm not. He and I have talked about it, actually, thank you very much," you snapped. "And if that happens, **Adam and I** will figure out what that means for us."

It wasn't a total lie. You and Adam _had_ spoken briefly about the possibility of him signing with WWE when in Vegas. Everyone knew of the rumors. He had acknowledged he'd talked to some people, but he also said he had been talking to ROH and NJPW as well. You hadn't pushed for more information, figuring until he had more definite ideas, it wasn't worth it for you to worry.

"It means you get left behind and hurt, and we all have to put you back together again."

"I'm not fucking Humpty Dumpty!" you objected angrily. "This may be a shock for you to hear, but sometimes people can have different careers and maintain relationships. I know, _I know_ , it's crazy!"

"You can be as fucking sarcastic as you want, kid, but we both know you staying on the indies and him going to the big machine, it's a kiss of death."

"NONE of us knows that," you corrected.

The argument stalled after that, both of you firm in your opinions and thoughts. You knew Jay thought he was looking out for your best interest, but you also knew he was blinded by his own feelings about Adam.

"Jay, I'm not doing this with you anymore," you all but sighed, squeezing your eyes shut. "Either you're on my side, or you're not. I can't keep fighting you to change your mind, because I know you won't until you _want_ to. So you can stop being so negative about my relationship, or you can get out of my life."

"So that's how it is? You choose some new guy over someone that's had your back?"

"Adam has been my friend for years. And yes, you have been one of my closest friends for just as long. But right now, you're not being much of a friend. And he's being the best one I've got," you explained.

"Well, I hope he stays that way. But when he don't, don't come crying to me. You're making your choice to be with him, and I'm not supporting that." Jay said, and you felt a tightness come into your chest. While you had been the one to give the ultimatum, you hadn't expected him to make his decision so quickly, so easily.

"OK," you breathed out. "Bye."

Ending the call, you gave him no time to respond. You tossed your phone on to the bed beside you, closing your eyes, and then blinking rapidly. The tightness turned to an ache as you realized that you had just basically broken up with your big brother. And it was then that you let the tears run down your face.

* * *

Five days later, you found yourself standing in the bathroom in Adam's house, doing your make-up. You'd arrived earlier that day, and after some 'I've missed you' sex, and a subsequent shared shower, you were finally getting ready to go out.

Adam had made plans for you to meet with his family for dinner, before hitting up a bar with some friends. When he had told you, you had balked all around, out of sheer fear. But, when he'd told you his reasoning, that he wanted to get as much time with all of the people he cared about as possible, you had no argument against it.

Over the years, you'd met his mom at various shows briefly, and his brother a bit more frequently. You'd never met his stepdad, nor his cousin and his long-term girlfriend. His mother and brother were both wonderful people from what you saw, and Adam always spoke very highly of everyone in his family. Of course, now that you were _girlfriend_ , it was a little different, and you couldn't deny there was a nervous buzz running through your veins.

Which was why you were taking your careful time to do your hair and makeup, and picked out an appropriate outfit. This was a first impression, for some genuinely and for others in a new way, and you wanted to make the best one you could. His mother meant everything to him, and you did not want to put a bad taste in her mouth.

Music was playing out of your phone as you got ready, some playlist you'd found on Spotify. You were more focused on your eyeliner than the songs, and you certainly were too focused to notice Adam sneaking up behind you. Thankfully, he waited until you'd stopped drawing on your face to grab you from behind.

"Adam!" You laughed, attempting to unwrap him from you, pushing at him. He was singing along to the song, Britney Spears, which raised some questions for you. The more you laughed and tried to push him off, the more he tightened his arms around you, and sang louder.

"Stop! I'm trying to get ready!" You shoved at him again, and he finally stopped trying to sway you around. Kissing the back of your neck, he released his hold on you and stepped back.

"If we're late, I'm blaming you."

"And believe me, no one would argue that," he replied, turning and hopping up to sit beside the sink on the counter where you things weren't spread out. You returned to your makeup, and eyeshadow. "You know, you really don't need to do all this."

"Yea, I do," you stated, focusing on your reflection and not him. "And please, don't feed me some line about how I don't _need_ makeup to be pretty."

"I know better," Adam assured you. "You've told me more than once over the years that you don't do this because you feel like you have to, but because you want to. I'm aware. Trust me. What I meant was, doing all this for tonight. It's not a big deal."

"It is to me," you contended. Adam, smartly, didn't continue to try to debate his side of the matter. "What time is it?"

"A little before 5. We've got plenty of time."

You took his word for it, and continued to work on your appearance. Adam remained sitting beside you, humming along to some songs, handing you any items you requested. It all felt so… _domestic_. You liked it.

 _And I see colors in a different way.  
You make what doesn't matter fade to grey.  
Life is good and that's the way it should be._

Soon enough you were in his car, heading out to meet up with his family at a restaurant a couple towns over. The car ride was full of you asking questions about anything you saw out the window, attempting to learn about his life. Adam was amused by your constant questioning, but answered all your inquiries.

After arriving at the restaurant, and Adam parked, you had to take in several deep breaths as you got out of the car to calm yourself. The closer you got to the front door, the more your nerves acted up. Adam _loved_ his mom and brother, what if they hated you? They accepted you as friend, but as more than that…it just wasn't the same, and could be an issue. It would be in the same way Jay had no issue with your being around Adam, but had severe issue with you dating him.

"Hey," Adam's gentle voice got your attention, his hand tightening where it held yours, causing you to look up towards him from under your eyelashes. "Relax. This isn't a big deal."

"Easier said than felt," was your response.

"We're literally going to have a couple beers with my family, that's what this really is. You know most of these people, you've met them before. We all get along just fine."

"Different time, different circumstance," you pointed out.

"So are we, Bren. That's what we do. This is _different_ , remember?" His tone was clearly teasing and knowing, meant to lighten the mood. It worked. You had to giggle at his word choice; it was somewhat of an inside joke almost for the two of you by now. A smile broke on his face at your mirth.

"Can we be normal at some point?"

"That's just downright boring," Adam declared, acting almost offended at such a suggestion, which made you grin wider. "And sweetheart, we ain't boring."

"Touché," you concurred.

"So, ready to go in there?" He jerked his head towards the door and subsequent restaurant building.

"Beer?"

"You go wild," Adam said. "I've got driving duties for the night." Standing up straight, you kissed him a few short times to show your gratitude.

After that, he pulled open the door, allowing you to enter the building ahead of him. You found his family in the waiting area almost immediately. It was a bit of a surprise when you were pulled into hugs by his mother and brother, but you went with it, and didn't miss the endeared smile that was on Adam's face while it happened. Everyone else politely exchanged greetings, before you were seated in the back at a long table.

Dinner ended up being some of the most fun you'd had with family ever. While you enjoyed your parents and extended family, you weren't particularly close-knit. Adam's family definitely was. Jokes and loving-insults flew just as easily as honest words and advice did.

You'd been high-strung at first when his mother had taken a seat directly next to you, but after a couple beers shared, you realized you had nothing to worry about. She was just as fun and kind as the other times you had met her, maybe even more so, as she seemed to take great pleasure in telling you embarrassing yet adorable things about Adam.

The bar was equally as entertaining and fun as dinner was. While his mom and stepdad had opted to leave, his brother, cousin and girlfriend, remained. You found yourself in a dive bar, where some of his other friends joined you. Drinks were shared, as was laughter. You endured a genuine and serious questioning from his cousin's girlfriend, who you realized was more like a little sister to Adam than anything. Thankfully, you'd passed that test.

By 1AM, you were headed back to Adam's house. You felt happy with, proud almost, of the night. Adam had wanted you to meet the people he called family and friends, people that meant a lot to him. And you hadn't screwed it up. It was another 'check' for your growing relationship, you felt.

Walking through his front door, your only-kinda-inebriated brain decided tonight needed to be ended with no clothes and a lot of touching. While Adam went to the kitchen, you kicked off your shoes, and went in to the living room. The second he sat down, after setting two beers down on the table, you moved yourself over him. You bent your legs, placing your knees on either side of his, straddling him. You put your hands on his shoulders, eyelevel with him.

"…well, hello."

"Hey," you purred, immediately leaning down to capture his lips with yours. Adam, to his credit, put up no protest. His hands went to your sides, where he moved them upwards, taking your shirt with them for a moment, before they moved back on to your shoulder blades. Your fingers dug in to his shoulders, your hips pressing down in to his, as your tongues met.

"Bren, wait…" Adam broke away from you, his breathing as heavy as yours.

"Dude, seriously?" you bemoaned, trying to go back to kissing him, and being rebuffed.

"I have to tell you something."

"… _now_?" You couldn't help but sound exasperated.

"Yes, now," Adam maintained. Literally swallowing an annoyed groan, you moved back from him, continuing to straddle him but putting distance between your bodies. His hands rested tightly on your hips, holding you in place, as you set your hands on his upper abdomen between yourselves.

"Alright, what couldn't wait?" Adam gazed at you, his blue eyes searching your brown ones briefly. He was quiet for the moment, observing you. It occurred to you that he seemed almost…nervous? Uncertain?

"When we get to Florida, I uh…I've got a meeting with WWE."

"…I figured you would."

"I want you to come with me."

That part you hadn't expected, and you knew your face said as much.

" _Why_?"

"Because…you're…far better at thinking all possible parts of a situation through. I need you to do that. You see things differently than I do."

"OK… But you realize that I kind of, on a personal level, don't care about all sides of this, right? Like, I'm not going to be objective with this."

"I know," he ensured. "And I want that. I want you to be that way. Because that means you're gonna hear things that maybe I don't. Or read between the lines in a way I won't."

"You sound very distrusting of your possible future employers."

"All business is distrustful, on some level," Adam replied. You couldn't really argue him. Almost every wrestler had at one time or another dealt with shady business and being screwed by promoters.

"Fine…." you reluctantly agreed. "I guess I'll be the devil on your shoulder."

Adam looked pleased with your response, and drew you into a kiss to show it.

"You know where else you can be a devil for me?" The slow smirk that came to his face said it all. Part of you wanted to roll your eyes, and the other part of you wanted to blush.

"You are too much," you muttered. "I'm literally on top of you right now."

"On top of, under…I'm not gonna be picky. As long as it's you with me."

"You and me, huh?"

"You and me," he affirmed. "I think we've got a good thing going here."

"What if it all changes though? A lot is up in the air right now."

"Then…we'll adjust with the circumstances," Adam decided.

"I think I know something else that needs to be adjusted," you murmured, turning your lips up at the side, as you slid your hand slowly down his torso towards his belt.

" _Jesus_ ," he all but groaned as soon as your hand traveled over the belt and to the front of his pants.

"I thought I was the devil?" you asked coyly, ever so gently moving your hand across him.

"Be whatever you want to be. Just do not stop."

"Hey Adam?" His eyes, almost begrudgingly, opened and came to meet yours. You did stop moving, despite his request, and just gazed down at him for the moment. Taking in a shallow breath, you knew you had to say this before things went too far. "I want this."

After a second, a genuine smile came to his face. And with that, you could tell he knew you were referring to more than just the physical act you were both entangled in.

"Good," he stated, reaching a hand up to your face, guiding you down to meet him in a deep kiss.

Despite all the ups, downs, and all-arounds…you finally felt a semblance of calm again in your life. And no one was more surprised than you that you had Adam Cole to thank for that. You were thankful. And hopeful. This was the beginning of something fantastic. Fun.

 **Different.**

 _Doesn't matter where I go,_  
 _Doesn't matter if I run,_  
 _We were always gonna get too close,_  
 _We were always gonna fall in love._  
 _Doesn't matter where I go,_  
 _Doesn't matter if I run,_  
 _We were always gonna get too close,_  
 _We were always gonna fall in love._

 _I don't want to fall asleep without you,_  
 _I don't want to take one breath without you._  
 _Oh, and I don't even know one thing about you,_  
 _But give me everything about you,_  
 _I know that…_

 _I don't want to fall asleep without you._  
 _(Never without you)_  
 _I don't want to take one breath without you._  
 _(Never without you)_  
 _I don't even know one thing about you,_  
 _(Give me)_  
 _But give me everything about you._  
 _(Give me)_  
 _It's only been a moment, it's true,_  
 _But I could never live this life without you._

* * *

AUTHOR NOTE: So. This is it. The end. It's so bittersweet for me. I've really enjoyed writing this story and the journey I didn't know as a writer I'd end up on.

This story wouldn't exist without every single of one of you that has read, liked, commented, and motivated me. **THANK YOU SO MUCH**! I have read every comment and message with warmth in my heart. You guys seriously are so great and awesome and just as much a part of this as I was. I never thought this story would reach five people, let alone as many as it has. It's truly unbelievable to me.

I hope I did this last chapter justice. I contemplated doing two more, but I didn't want to unnecessarily drag it out/ruin it _by doing too much_.

El fin. [For now. I'll revisit these two some day…. ;) }


	14. NOTE

New -part- coming soon.

An interlude.

An intermission.

A redux.

Any way it's said, we are about to catch up a bit with the babes Brenna and Adam.

;0


	15. SEQUEL

There's a minor interlude on my page under **Insolence &Be Here Now - Interlude**

AND THEN

 **A Sequel is started as Be Here Now**

CHECK THEM OUT FOR MORE ADAM AND BRENNA

MY BABES


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